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Feeding your new spouse wedding cake is a long-standing tradition that is said to date back to Ancient Roman times. The couple cutting into the cake together is meant to symbolise their first task as a married couple, and the couple feeding each other the first bites of cake represents their commitment to creating a sweet life together. While some couples opt to feed each other elegantly, others choose to smash cake into each other's faces.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Purpose | Symbolises the couple's first task as a unified team and their commitment to creating a sweet life together |
Who does it | The bride and groom |
When it happens | After dinner, towards the end of the reception |
How it's done | The couple can choose to feed each other neatly or smash cake into each other's faces |
What You'll Learn
The history of the tradition
The tradition of feeding your spouse wedding cake has a long history, dating back to Ancient Roman times. Back then, the wedding ceremony would conclude with a wheat or barley cake being broken over the bride's head to symbolise good luck and fertility. The bride and groom would then eat a few crumbs together, symbolising their first unified act as a married couple.
In medieval times, the English would stack spiced buns, scones, and cookies as high as possible, and the bride and groom would kiss over the pile. If they managed to do so without knocking it over, it was believed they would have a lifetime of wealth.
The first official wedding confection, dating back to 1685, was the "Bride's Pye", a pastry crust filled with oysters, lamb testicles, throat, rooster comb, and pine kernels. It was believed that eating this pie would ensure a happy life together.
In the Victorian era, it was customary for the bride to cut the wedding cake, which was also known as the bride's cake. The cake was white to symbolise the bride's purity, but also as a status symbol, as white icing was expensive. The bride would cut the cake and hand out pieces to all her guests, which represented fertility. As wedding guest lists grew, the groom would help with the cake-cutting ceremony.
Today, the tradition of feeding each other wedding cake is a symbol of a couple's commitment to one another and their promise to provide and care for each other.
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How to cut the cake
Cutting the wedding cake is a symbolic moment that represents the first act a married couple will do together. It is also a great photo opportunity. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to cut the wedding cake:
Choose a Good Location
Find a spot to showcase the cake-cutting ceremony where it is easily seen by the guests. Ensure there is enough room to move around the cake and that the backdrop is clean and well-lit so that you have stunning photos to look back on.
Prepare the Essential Tools
Before the cake-cutting ceremony, prepare the essential tools: a cake knife, one or two plates, and two forks. If you plan to make a toast during the ceremony, you may also want to prepare two champagne flutes.
Position Yourselves
Stand on the side of the cake so that your guests can watch, and the photographer can capture the moment. Place both of your hands on the handle of the knife.
Cut the Cake
Decide beforehand whether you want to cut your cake in a wedge or a box shape. Cut about an inch into the cake, then cut a connecting line. Use the knife or a cake server to lift the slice onto your plate.
Feed Each Other
You may choose to cut two small slices, each on their own plates, and then feed each other. Or, you may opt to cut only one slice and use individual forks to enjoy that first bite together.
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How to feed your spouse without making a mess
Feeding your spouse wedding cake without making a mess is a delicate task. Here are some tips to help you achieve this:
Before the Big Day
Planning is key. Practice cutting the cake with your spouse-to-be before the wedding day. This will help you both get a feel for the process and ensure you're comfortable with the technique. It's also a good idea to have a chat with your partner beforehand to agree on a game plan: a traditional cake-feeding or a fun cake smash.
On the Big Day
Position yourselves with one of you standing closest to the cake, holding the knife with your dominant hand, while the other stands behind, placing their hand on top. Cut an inch into the bottom tier of the cake, avoiding a sawing motion to prevent the cake from crumbling. Then, make a connecting cut for a wedge-shaped piece. Skip the serving spatula, as it's larger than the slice and will make a mess. Instead, use a cake knife and a fork to carefully lift the piece of cake and place it on a plate.
Feeding Your Spouse
Now for the moment you've been preparing for—feeding your spouse without making a mess! Hold the plate with the cake slice steady with one hand, and use a fork or your fingers to gently feed your spouse a bite-sized piece of cake. Be careful not to smear frosting on their face or clothing unless, of course, you've agreed to a cake smash!
After Feeding Your Spouse
Have napkins or, even better, a warm, damp cloth nearby to wipe up any rogue crumbs or frosting quickly. This will help you avoid getting cake on your clothes or face and keep the mess to a minimum.
Remember, the key to successfully feeding your spouse wedding cake without making a mess is practice, coordination, and a bit of planning. With these tips, you'll be able to create a memorable moment without the mess!
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Alternatives to feeding your spouse
The tradition of feeding your spouse wedding cake has been a part of weddings for a long time. However, it's perfectly fine if you're not a fan of this custom. Here are some alternatives to the traditional cake-feeding ritual:
Opt for Other Desserts:
Instead of a wedding cake, consider serving alternative desserts such as cupcakes, donut walls, macarons, or your favourite go-to treat. For example, you could offer guests Italian millefoglie, French croquembouche, or Spanish custard-filled cakes. If you prefer savoury over sweet, how about a cake-inspired display of cheese wheels or a charcuterie-inspired stack?
Honour Your Heritage:
Choose a dessert that pays homage to your heritage or a locale that's meaningful to you and your spouse. For instance, Italian cannolis, French croquembouche, or German apple strudel.
Get Creative with Presentation:
Even if you decide to serve cake, you can make it unique by getting creative with the presentation. Consider a heart-shaped cake, a custom stand for macarons, or displaying donuts in a pyramid shape.
Pre-portioned Desserts:
Instead of a large cake, you could offer pre-portioned desserts for each guest, such as mini key lime pies or chocolate mousse servings.
Breakfast-inspired Treats:
If you're having a brunch wedding, why not serve breakfast-inspired snacks at the end? Belgian waffles or pancakes stacked into a cake shape can be a fun twist on the traditional wedding cake.
Seasonal or Themed Desserts:
Choose a dessert that fits the season or theme of your wedding. For example, serve pies at a fall wedding or black-and-white cookies at a glamorous New York City affair.
Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and starting your journey together. Whether you stick with the traditional cake-feeding ritual or choose an alternative, make sure it reflects your personalities and what feels right for you as a couple.
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What to do with leftover cake
The tradition of newlyweds feeding each other wedding cake is a fun and respectful way to spread love and respect on their special day. While some couples opt for a classy cake-feeding ceremony, others take it a step further and smash the cake on each other's faces.
Now, what happens to the leftover wedding cake? Here are some creative ways to make the most of it:
Share it at your after-party or morning-after brunch:
Encourage guests who skipped the cake at the wedding to indulge in a slice or two. It's a great way to ensure nothing goes to waste, and it's a budget-saver too!
Save it for a special occasion:
Follow in the footsteps of royalty and take inspiration from Kate Middleton and Prince William. They served a tier from their royal wedding cake at their son Prince George's christening. You could also save it for your housewarming or a romantic anniversary celebration.
Host a thank-you dinner for your parents:
Express your gratitude to your parents for their support during the wedding planning process by inviting them over for a special dinner. Surprise them with your wedding cake as dessert—it's a thoughtful gesture, and they'll love the sweet memories it evokes.
Give the top tier to your parents:
If you know your wedding will be an emotional day for your parents, send them home with the top tier of your wedding cake. It will bring them joy and allow them to savour a piece of your special day with their friends.
Reward yourself while writing thank-you notes:
Writing thank-you notes can be a tedious task, so why not sweeten the deal? Break out the leftover cake and a bottle of champagne to celebrate your progress or completion of this post-wedding chore.
Get creative in the kitchen:
With a little imagination, you can transform leftover cake into delicious treats. Try making cake pops, cake French toast, blending it into a milkshake, or folding it into brownies or cookie dough. You can even deep-fry cake chunks for a crunchy, mouth-watering dessert!
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Frequently asked questions
Feeding each other wedding cake is a fun tradition that dates back to Ancient Roman times. It symbolizes the couple's first task as a unified team and their commitment to creating a sweet life together.
The couple should position themselves with one person standing closest to the cake and holding the knife with their dominant hand, while the other stands behind and places their hand on top. Together, they cut an inch into the bottom tier of the cake, then make a connecting cut to form a wedge.
The cake-cutting ceremony usually happens after dinner, between dinner and the parent dances. It signals to guests that the reception is almost over and that they can start heading home.
Fruitcakes were traditionally used for wedding cakes, as they were easier to preserve for the couple to eat on their first anniversary. Today, couples may choose any flavor and style of cake they like.
Some couples choose to smash the cake into each other's faces instead of feeding it to each other. Others may opt for alternate desserts such as doughnuts, pie, or cupcakes instead of a traditional cake.