Guide To Addressing Wedding Invites To A Gay Couple

When addressing wedding invitations to a gay couple, the general rule is to follow the same etiquette as you would for an unmarried heterosexual couple or a married couple with different last names. If the gay couple is unmarried, each person should be addressed individually with their respective titles and names written on separate lines. The order of the names is typically alphabetical, but it can be arranged based on closeness or preference. For married gay couples with different last names, both names are written on the same line, separated by and. If the married gay couple shares the same last name, there are a few options for addressing them. One way is to use Mr. and Mr. or Mrs. and Mrs. for male and female couples, respectively, followed by their names. Alternatively, the French plural titles Messrs. for men and Mesdames or Mmes. for women can be used, followed by their shared last name.

Married, different surnames

When addressing a wedding invitation to a gay couple with different surnames, there are a few options to consider, depending on the formality of the wedding and the couple's preferences. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you with the addressing:

Outer Envelope Etiquette:

On the outer envelope of the invitation, the traditional etiquette is to list the invitees' names separately on different lines, in alphabetical order. This format applies to both married and unmarried couples. Here's an example:

Mr. George Bellafante

Mr. Thomas Jones

Inner Envelope and Place Card Format:

For the inner envelope and place card, you can use titles and last names. Here's how it would look:

Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones

Invitation Wording for Married Couples:

If the gay couple is married, you have a few options to consider. One option is to use both their titles and last names, separating them with "and". Here's an example:

Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green

Alternatively, you can use the plural form of the title, especially if they have the same last name. For men, you can write "The Messrs. [Name] and [Name]". For women, you can use "The Mesdames [Name] and [Name]". Here's how it would look:

The Messrs. Adams and Green

The Mesdames Smith and Johnson

Alphabetical Order:

When addressing the invitation, it's generally a good idea to list the names in alphabetical order to avoid any potential issues. This is a default option when you don't have a preference for the order.

Asking for Preferences:

If you're unsure about the preferred format, don't hesitate to ask the couple. They might have specific preferences that differ from the standard conventions. This way, you can ensure that your invitations are addressed correctly and respectfully.

Married, same surname

When addressing wedding invitations to a gay couple with the same surname, there are a few options you can consider. Here are some detailed instructions and examples to help you with the formatting:

Using Formal Titles

Address each member of the married gay couple with their respective formal titles, such as "Mr." or "Mrs." For male couples, write "Mr." before each of their names, and for female couples, use "Mrs." You can choose to list their names alphabetically or based on your preference or closeness to the individuals. Here are some examples:

• "Mr. John Graham and Mr. David Graham" or "Mr. David and Mr. John Graham"
• "Mrs. Jane Clint and Mrs. Sarah Clint" or "Mrs. Sarah and Mrs. Jane Clint"

If you want to avoid repeating the surname, you can list the surname once by writing something like:

• "Mr. John and Mr. David Graham"
• "Mrs. Jane and Mrs. Sarah Clint"

Utilizing Plural Titles

Instead of using "Mr." or "Mrs." for each individual, you can use the plural forms "Messrs." for male couples and "Mesdames" or "Mmes." for female couples. This approach is especially useful when the married couple has the same surname. Here's how it would look:

• "Messrs. Charles and John Green" or "The Messrs. John and David Graham"
• "Mesdames Anna and Emily Andrews" or "Mmes. Anna and Emily Andrews"

Replacing Titles with Professional Designations

If one or both members of the couple have professional designations, such as "Dr." or "Esquire," you can use those instead of "Mr." or "Mrs." Here's an example:

"Dr. Rob Jones and Mr. Ryan Jones" or "Drs. Maria and Laura Constantine"

Remember, these are general guidelines, and it's always a good idea to consider the couple's preferences. If you're unsure, don't hesitate to ask them how they would like to be addressed.

Unmarried

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried gay couples, there are a few options to consider. The general rule is to address each person individually with their appropriate title and write each name on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. Here are some examples and guidelines to help you with this:

• List the names alphabetically on separate lines on the outer envelope: "Mr. George Bellafante, Mr. Thomas Jones".
• On the inner envelope, use titles and last names: "Mr. Bellafante and Mr. Jones".
• If you are primarily inviting one half of the couple and extending the invitation to their partner as a courtesy, list the invitee's name first, followed by their partner's name: "Mr. Roger Gonzalez and Mr. Alex Gonzalez".
• If you don't have a preference for the order, it is acceptable to put either person's name first or list the names in alphabetical order: "Mr. Adam Irvine and Mr. Bob Irvine".
• If the couple has chosen to keep their last names, ensure you include both last names in the address: "Mr. Robert Stewson and Mr. Greg Johnson".
• When addressing unmarried couples with different last names, write the person's name first whom you are closest to, or go in alphabetical order: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".
• If the couple considers themselves a permanent pair, you can put both names on one line and separate them with "and": "Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green".

Alphabetical order

When addressing wedding invitations to a gay couple, the general rule is to list their names alphabetically, especially if you are unsure which person to put first. This is the default way to list two people when the order doesn't matter to you. Write the name of the person whose surname starts with a letter earlier in the alphabet first, followed by the name of the second member of the couple.

For example, if the couple has the same surname, the outer envelope could be addressed to:

• "Mr. Adam Irvine and Mr. Bob Irvine"
• "Mrs. Claire Rockefort and Mrs. Diana Rockefort"
• "Mr. Roger Gonzalez and Mr. Alex Gonzalez"

If the couple has different surnames, the outer envelope could be addressed to:

• "Mr. Charles Adams and Mr. John Green"
• "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams"
• "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith"

If you are addressing a married couple with different last names, you can also separate their names with "and". For example:

"Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith"

If you are addressing a married couple with the same last name, you can also use the plural form of the title. For example:

• "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith"
• "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams"

When addressing a married gay couple, you can also choose to list the person you are inviting first, followed by their partner's name. For example, if you are inviting Roger Gonzalez and want to extend the invitation to his partner Alex Gonzalez, the outer envelope could be addressed to:

"Mr. Roger Gonzalez and Mr. Alex Gonzalez"

Asking for preference

When addressing wedding invitations to a gay couple, it's essential to consider their preference and ask them how they would like to be addressed. This simple step ensures that you respect their wishes and avoids any potential mistakes or confusion. Here are some reasons why asking for their preference is the best approach:

• Respecting Individuality: Each gay couple is unique, and their preferred way of being addressed may vary. By asking them directly, you acknowledge and respect their individuality. This simple gesture can make them feel valued and respected.
• Avoiding Assumptions: Making assumptions about how a gay couple prefers to be addressed can sometimes lead to errors. For example, some gay couples may have different last names or choose to retain their original last names after marriage. Asking them beforehand ensures that you use the correct names and titles.
• Formality Considerations: The level of formality of your wedding can influence how you address the invitations. For a more formal wedding, you might use titles and last names, while for a less formal event, you could use first names. Asking the couple about their preference helps you align your addressing style with the desired tone of your wedding.
• Alphabetical Order: When addressing a gay couple with different last names, it's essential to know their preferred order. Asking them directly allows you to arrange their names alphabetically on the invitation, avoiding any potential misunderstandings.
• Marital Status: If the gay couple is not married, traditional etiquette suggests addressing each person individually, with their names on separate lines. However, some unmarried couples may consider themselves a permanent pair and prefer to be addressed with their names on the same line, separated by "and." Asking about their preference ensures you respect their relationship status.
• Consistency and Inclusivity: Asking for the couple's preferred greeting helps maintain consistency in your wedding invitation addressing. It also ensures an inclusive atmosphere, making all guests feel welcomed and valued, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Here's an example of how you could phrase your inquiry when asking for their preferred greeting: "Hi [Couple's Names], I want to ensure that your wedding invitation is addressed exactly how you would like it. Would you prefer to be addressed as [Option 1] or [Option 2]? We want to make sure we get it just right!"

Frequently asked questions