Wedding Invite Etiquette: Who, When, And How To Specify

Wedding invitation wording is an art, and there is specific etiquette to follow when addressing your envelopes. The outer envelope is the most formal layer and uses titles, full names, and the street addresses of any adults who are invited. The inner envelope is more informal and frequently incorporates first names. When two envelopes are involved, the outside envelope is addressed more formally while the inside envelope is slightly more casual.

How to address a married couple with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few options to consider. The traditional way is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If you are close to the couple and know their preference, you might want to include the wife's name to avoid lumping her identity in with her husband's. In this case, the outer envelope could be addressed as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren". The inner envelope could then be more informal, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle".

If you are inviting a same-sex married couple with the same last name, either name can go first. For instance, "Mr. and Mr. Adam Johnson" on the outer envelope, and "Mr. and Mr. Johnson" or "Adam and Michael" on the inner envelope.

It is important to note that some modern women may not appreciate having their names left out or being addressed as "Mrs." with their husband's name. In such cases, it is advisable to use the more gender-neutral title "Mx." or simply address them by their first and last names.

Additionally, if you are only using one envelope for the invitation, ensure that all invited parties are clearly stated, including plus-ones and children.

How to address a married couple with different last names

When addressing a wedding invite to a married couple with different last names, the best approach is to use their full names, with each name on a separate line. This format is clear and avoids any assumptions about name changes. Here is an example:

Ms. Jane Doe

Mr. John Smith

123 Peppermint City, OH 33332

If you are inviting children as well, their names can be listed on the line below their parents' names, without titles or last names. For example:

Ms. Jane Doe

Mr. John Smith

Joe and Jane

123 Peppermint City, OH 33332

Another option is to address the couple as "Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith" on the same line, followed by "and family" if children are included.

It is important to respect the choices of individuals regarding their names and titles. Avoid assuming that a wife has changed her name or that she prefers a particular title. If you are unsure, it is always best to ask.

How to address a married couple with one hyphenated last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider.

Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names. For a wife who has chosen to hyphenate her last name, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr." and "Ms." or "Mrs." + her first name + maiden name + married name: "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones". Alternatively, some sources suggest that the wife's name should come first, followed by "and", and then the husband's name: "Ms. Mary Smith-Jones and Mr. Michael Jones". This format can also be used when addressing an unmarried couple living together.

If you are close to the couple and know their personal preferences, it is always best to follow those. For example, if the wife goes by "Mrs.", you can address her as such, followed by her first name and hyphenated last name.

When addressing the inner envelope, a more informal style can be used. The titles can be dropped, and either the first names or the last names of the couple can be used: "Michael and Mary" or "Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones".

It is worth noting that traditional etiquette allows the title "Mrs." to be used only before a man's name, either the husband's surname or the husband's given name followed by his surname. Therefore, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jones" would be correct if the wife's business name is "Mrs. Michael Jones". However, very few modern women style themselves in this way.

How to address an unmarried couple

When addressing an unmarried couple living together, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it is important to use their titles and full names, avoiding abbreviations or nicknames. The couple's names can be listed alphabetically by last name on separate lines, for example:

> Mr. Ross Geller

> Ms. Rachel Green

Alternatively, both names can be listed on the same line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you are equally close to both, list the names alphabetically. For example:

> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is best to send separate invitations to each guest.

How to address a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, it's important to use their preferred title and name. Here are some guidelines to help you address wedding invitations to single individuals:

• For a single female guest, use "Ms." if she is over 18. If she is younger, "Miss" is more appropriate, and it should be spelled out rather than abbreviated. For example, "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon" or "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner" on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can use "Ms. Lemon" or "Miss Tanner," or just their first names if you prefer a more casual approach.
• For a single male guest, use "Mr." if he is over 18. If he is younger, no title is necessary. For example, "Mr. George Costanza" on the outer envelope. On the inner envelope, you can use "Mr. Costanza" or just "George" for a more informal tone.
• If your guest identifies as non-binary, you can use the honorific "Mx." If you are unsure, it is best to ask for their preferred title and name. For instance, "Mx. Courtney Andrews" on the outer envelope, and "Mx. Andrews" or "Courtney" on the inner envelope.
• For a widowed woman, it is considerate to ask someone close to her if she prefers to use her married name or her husband's name. Some widows may also prefer "Ms." So, for instance, "Mrs. George Devereaux" or "Mrs. Blanche Devereaux" on the outer envelope, and "Mrs. Devereaux" or the preferred variation on the inner envelope.
• In the case of a divorced woman, you can address the envelope using "Ms." or "Mrs." along with either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference. For example, "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway" on the outer envelope, and "Mrs./Ms. Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Holloway" on the inner envelope.
• If the single guest is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name. For instance, "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor."
• If the single guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name. For example, "Father Damien Karras."

Remember, when addressing a single person, you can use their preferred title and name on the outer envelope, and a more casual approach on the inner envelope, such as using only their first name or dropping the title. This adds a touch of informality and closeness to the invitation.

Frequently asked questions