Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Addressing Parents' Names Gracefully

Wedding invitation wording is a tricky business. The good news is that the rules of wedding invitation etiquette aren't that complicated. The primary tenets are actually much simpler and more straightforward than you might think. The most important rule is to create a beautiful wedding invitation that represents you, your love, and the big day to come.

Traditionally, the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding and are named at the top of the invitation, but including the names of both sets of parents as hosts is a gracious option no matter who foots the bill. If the couple is hosting, you can skip the host line altogether.

If you want to include the name of a parent who has passed away, you'll need to rearrange things as someone who has passed can't actually serve as a host. Try this, for example:

> Julia French, daughter of Mr. Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr. Camden and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honor of your presence at their wedding on the fifth of May, two thousand seventeen at one o'clock in the afternoon. The Reagan Library, Simi Valley, California. Dinner and dancing to follow. Black tie required.

If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can include them all, just keep each parent on a separate line. If you're going to include the name of a stepparent, keep it on the same line as their partner.

Including both sets of parents

Traditional Wording

"Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's Father's First Name and Last Name] and Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's Father's First Name and Last Name] invite you to celebrate with their children [Bride's First Name and Middle Name] and [Groom's First Name and Last Name] on their wedding day."

Modern Wording

"Together with their parents, [Bride's First Name and Middle Name] and [Groom's First Name and Last Name] joyfully request your presence at their wedding."

Elegant and Formal Wording

"Mr. and Mrs. [Bride's Father's First Name and Last Name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter [Bride's First Name and Middle Name] to [Groom's First Name and Last Name], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's Father's First Name and Last Name]."

Simple and Direct Wording

"[Bride's Parents' Names] and [Groom's Parents' Names] invite you to the wedding of their children [Date] at [Time] [Location]."

Romantic Wording

" [Bride's Parents' Names] and [Groom's Parents' Names] enter into their new life together and invite you to share in the joy when their children unite in marriage on [Date] at [Time] [Location]."

No matter which wording style you choose, remember to use full names and spell out numbers in the date and time. The year is optional. The street address of the venue is usually not needed unless omitting it would lead to confusion. The city and state should be written out in full.

Honouring a deceased parent

Wording the Invitation

The traditional wording for a wedding invitation issued by the bride's parents would be:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Father's first name] [Last name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter [Bride's first and middle name] to [Groom's first, middle, and last name], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's father's first name] [Last name].

However, if the bride's parent is deceased, the invitation can be worded as follows:

> Daughter of the late [Bride's parent's first name] [Last name] and Mr. [Groom's father's first name] [Last name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of [Bride's first and middle name] to their son [Groom's first, middle, and last name].

Alternatively, the invitation can be issued by the couple themselves, with a simple:

> [Bride's first and middle name] and [Groom's first, middle, and last name] request the honour of your presence at their marriage.

Honouring Deceased Parents During Wedding Speeches

There are several ways to honour a deceased parent during a wedding speech:

• Reading a poem of remembrance, either self-written or by a classic or modern poet.
• Offering a toast with the deceased's favourite drink.
• Reading a letter from or to the deceased loved one—many parents write notes to their children to read on their wedding day.
• Holding a moment of silence to quietly reflect and honour the memory of the deceased.
• Saying a prayer or sharing a meaningful quote, song lyric, or passage from a TV show or book.

Honouring Deceased Parents During the Ceremony

The wedding ceremony also provides an opportunity to honour a deceased parent:

• Leaving a chair open in the front rows to symbolise their presence and represent that they are looking down on the happy couple.
• Lighting a memorial candle is a tradition in many cultures, symbolising unity. A candle can be lit specifically to honour lost loved ones.
• Including a message in the wedding programme, such as a short tribute, their name with the words "remembering" or "in remembrance," or a meaningful quote or passage.
• Carrying a memento, such as cufflinks, a handkerchief, or an heirloom necklace, in the bridal bouquet.
• Speaking to the officiant about honouring the deceased loved one during the ceremony, perhaps through the reading of quotes, passages, or other tributes.

Honouring Deceased Parents During the Reception

The wedding reception is usually less formal and provides an opportunity to incorporate more personal touches:

• Playing the deceased's favourite song during the first dance or as part of the playlist.
• Creating a commemorative presentation with slideshows, videos, and memories of the loved one, including photos and family videos.
• Visiting the grave of the deceased loved one before or after the wedding to share the joy of the occasion and leave a bouquet.

Wording for divorced parents

If your parents are divorced, the general rule is to list the mother's name first, followed by the father's name on a separate line with no conjunction ("and") in between. The mother's name can be preceded by either “Ms.” or “Mrs.”, but “Ms.” is recommended to eliminate any confusion. If your mother has remarried, include her new married name, and if your father has remarried, include his new partner's name. Here are some examples:

Divorced parents, mother kept her married name:

Ms. Sarah Smith

Mr. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Divorced parents, mother uses maiden name:

Ms. Sarah Jones

Mr. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

Divorced parents, mother remarried:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

Mr. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

Divorced parents, both parents remarried:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Michael Alan Timmons

It's important to note that there should be no "and" between the names of divorced parents, as this signifies marriage. Also, if your mother has a different last name from your father due to divorce or the use of her maiden name, it is appropriate to include your last name to prevent confusion.

If you have divorced parents and want to include both of their names on your wedding invitation, these guidelines will help you do so in a graceful and respectful manner.

The bride's parents hosting

When the bride's parents are hosting the wedding, their names should be listed at the top of the invitation, followed by the request line, which can be phrased as " [parent names] request the honour/pleasure of your presence/company".

Formal Wording

• "Mr. and Mrs. [Father First name, Last name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter [Bride first and middle name] to [Groom first, middle, and last name], son of Mr. and Mrs. [Groom's parents' names] on [date] at [time] at [venue name], [venue address]."
• "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wayne Adamson request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Sara Marie to Troy Higgins Clark on Saturday, the twelfth of September, two thousand and twenty-seven, at six o'clock in the evening at Bluxome Street Winery, San Francisco, California."

Casual Wording

• "Mr. and Mrs. [Father's first name] and [Mother's first name] [Father's last name] invite you to share in their joy at the marriage of their daughter [Bride's first and middle name] to [Groom's first and last name] on [date] at [time] at [venue name and address]."
• "Samuel and Mindy Peters, together with the families and friends of Matthew John Masterson, invite you to the ceremony and celebration on Saturday, the twelfth of September, two thousand twenty-seven, at three o'clock in the afternoon at Northern Lights Garden."

Religious Wording

• "Our joy will be more complete if you can share in the marriage of our daughter, [Bride's first and middle name] to [Groom's first and last name] on [date] at [time] to worship with us and witness their vows. If you are unable to attend, we ask for your presence in thought and prayer. [Parent names]."
• "Jonathan and Emma Neilson request your presence at the marriage of their daughter Sara Marie to Troy Higgins Clark on Saturday, the twelfth of September, two thousand twenty-seven, at six o'clock in the evening at [venue name and address]."

Holiday Wedding Wording

• "As this season begins, we, [Parents' first and last names], have a special reason to celebrate with family and friends. You are invited to share the joy as our daughter [Bride's first and middle name] is joined in marriage to [Groom's first and last name] on [date] at [time] at [venue name and address]."
• "Jefferson and Louisa Hinke invite you to share the joy as our daughter Michael Joseph Stromm is joined in marriage on Saturday, the twelfth of September, two thousand twenty-seven, at five o'clock in the evening at 1232 Snowflake Drive."

The couple hosting

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, the invitation can be worded as follows:

"The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of [Bride] to [Groom] on [date] at [time] at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow."

This traditional phrasing indicates that the ceremony will be held in a house of worship. For a secular wedding, you can use "request the pleasure of your company" instead.

"The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of Jane Smith to John Anderson on Saturday, the twelfth of September, two thousand twenty-six, at six o'clock in the evening at Bluxome Street Winery, San Francisco, California. Reception to follow."

If the couple is hosting the wedding and would like to include their parents' names, the invitation can be worded as follows:

The Couple and Their Parents

" [Bride's parents' names] and [Groom's parents' names] invite you to share in their joy and request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children [Bride] and [Groom] on [date] at [time] at [venue name and address]. Reception to follow."

"Doctor and Mrs Thomas Wayne Adamson and Doctor and Mrs Benjamin Miller request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children Jane Adamson and John Miller on Saturday, the twelfth of September, two thousand twenty-six, at six o'clock in the evening at Bluxome Street Winery, San Francisco, California. Reception to follow."

If the couple is hosting and would like to include a deceased parent's name, the invitation can be worded as follows:

The Couple with Deceased Parent(s)

" [Bride's name], daughter of [father's name] and the late [mother's name], and [Groom's name], son of [father's name] and [mother's name], request the honour of your presence at their wedding on [date] at [time] at [venue name and address]. Dinner and dancing to follow."

"Julia French, daughter of Mr Adam French and the late Iris French, and Austin Mahoney, son of Mr Camden Mahoney and Elizabeth Mahoney, request the honour of your presence at their wedding on the fifth of May, two thousand seventeen, at one o'clock in the afternoon at The Reagan Library, Simi Valley, California. Dinner and dancing to follow."

If the couple is hosting and would like to use more casual or creative phrasing, the invitation can be worded in a variety of ways:

Casual or Creative Wording

"Come celebrate with us! [Bride] and [Groom] are tying the knot on [date] at [time] at [venue name and address]. Dinner and dancing to follow."

Or

"Good food, good drinks, good friends. [Bride] and [Groom] request you celebrate with them as they get hitched on [date] at [time] at [venue name and address]. Party to follow."

Frequently asked questions