Junior Rasmussen
Jewish and Christian weddings differ in many ways, from the ceremony to the customs and traditions. In a Christian wedding, the couple recites vows or says I do, while in a Jewish wedding, the vows are recorded in the Ketubah, a beautifully designed marriage contract, and are not read aloud by the couple. Jewish weddings may be held in a synagogue or outdoors, while Christian weddings are typically held inside a church or chapel. The Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages: kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (marriage). In Jewish weddings, the groom must see his bride before the ceremony, while in Christian weddings, it is often taboo for the groom to see the bride beforehand.
| Characteristics | Jewish Weddings | Christian Weddings |
|---|---|---|
| Vows | Recorded in the ketubah, a marriage contract, and not recited out loud by the couple. | Recited by both parties or said in response to a clergy-led recitation. |
| Location | Can be held in a synagogue, outdoors, or other locations. | Often held inside a church or chapel. |
| Groom seeing the bride before the ceremony | Mandatory. | Generally taboo. |
| Ceremony | Two distinct stages: kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (marriage). | One ceremony. |
| Veil | Symbolises that the groom is interested in the bride's inner beauty, which she will never lose. | --- |
| Bridal walk | Bride walks around the groom under the chuppah. | --- |
| Parents | Bride and groom escorted by their respective parents or any happily married couple. | --- |
| Circuits | Bride circles the groom three or seven times, symbolising perfection or completeness. | --- |
| Blessings | Sheva Brachot or seven blessings are recited by the hazzan, rabbi, or select guests. | --- |
| Wine | The couple drinks wine after the seven blessings. | --- |
| Glass | Groom breaks a glass at the end of the ceremony. | --- |
| Rings | Rings are often inscribed with "Ani L'Dodi V'Dodi Li" (I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine). | --- |
| Marriage feast | Banquet with Birkat Hamazon (Grace after meals) and sheva brachot. | --- |
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What You'll Learn
Vows and blessings
In a Christian wedding, the couple recites vows or says "I do" in response to a clergy-led recitation of the vows. In a Jewish wedding, the vows are recorded in the ketubah, a beautifully designed marriage contract, and are not recited out loud by the couple. Instead, the ketubah is read to the congregation by a guest or the Jewish clergy. In a very traditional Jewish wedding, only the groom will recite an additional statement of marriage while the bride stands silent.
The ketubah outlines the duty of a husband to provide his wife with food, clothing, and marital satisfaction. Should there be a divorce, he is obligated to provide financial support. The ketubah is signed by the bride and groom in the presence of the rabbi and two witnesses before the wedding ceremony.
In Jewish weddings, the bride and groom exchange rings, which are sometimes presented outside the chuppah to avoid conflicts with Jewish law. The wedding formally begins when the Sheva Brachot, or seven blessings, are read. These blessings are recited by the hazzan or rabbi, or by select guests. The blessings are followed by a cup of wine being presented to the couple, first to the groom and then to the bride. In some traditions, the cup is held to the lips of the couple by their new in-laws.
In some Jewish communities, the bride walks around the groom under the chuppah before the rabbi begins the ceremony. This tradition is derived from Jeremiah 31:22, where the prophet says, "a woman encircles a man." Some brides circle three times, based on Hosea 2:19-20, while others circle seven times, linking to when Joshua circled the walls of Jericho seven times. In liberal or progressive Jewish communities, this custom is often modified for egalitarianism or same-gender couples, with the bride and groom circling each other in a do-si-do fashion.
In Christian weddings, the groom is typically not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony, while in Jewish weddings, the groom must see his bride before the ceremony.
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Location
A typical Christian wedding is often held inside a church or chapel. In contrast, Jewish weddings offer more flexibility in terms of location. They can take place in a synagogue, outdoors, or at any other suitable wedding venue.
The outdoor Jewish wedding ceremony is held under a chuppah or huppah, a wedding canopy symbolizing the new home being built by the couple. This canopy is traditionally placed under an open sky, with the sky symbolizing the presence of God as a cover over the couple's new home. The chuppah used in Ashkenazi ceremonies consists of a cloth canopy supported by four beams, while some Sephardic weddings may use the groom's tallit (prayer shawl) as the chuppah.
The veiling ritual, known in Yiddish as badeken, is also part of the location-specific traditions of a Jewish wedding. In this ritual, the groom covers the bride's face, usually with a veil, before escorting her to the chuppah. This custom is not practiced by Sephardi Jews.
In addition to the ceremony location, Jewish weddings traditionally include a special reception called "kabbalat panim" in honor of the bride and groom. Two separate receptions are typically held in adjacent rooms, one for the bride and another for the groom. This reception celebrates their special status, granting them symbolic powers and forgiveness of sins on their wedding day.
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Traditions and customs
Jewish weddings are steeped in tradition and customs that are rich in spiritual meaning. The ceremony itself is a two-stage process, comprising the kiddushin (betrothal) and the nissuin (marriage). During the kiddushin, the groom gives the bride a ring or another object of value, and the bride becomes prohibited to all other men. In the second stage, the couple is permitted to each other.
In the lead-up to the wedding, the Shabbat before is marked by the custom of the aufruf or "calling up", where the couple recites a blessing over the Torah, and the congregation showers them with candy.
On the wedding day, the bride is escorted to the chuppah (canopy) by both mothers, and the groom is escorted by both fathers. In another custom, the bride and groom are each accompanied by their respective parents, or another happily married couple. In some Ashkenazi communities, candles are held during the procession. Upon arrival at the chuppah, the bride traditionally walks around the groom three or seven times, symbolising the centrality of one spouse to the other.
The Sheva Brachot or seven blessings are then recited, and the couple drinks from a cup of wine. The wedding rings are often inscribed with the verse Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li (I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine). At the end of the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass with his right foot.
After the wedding, there is a seven-day celebration, culminating in a marriage feast.
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Marriage contract
The marriage contract, or 'ketubah', is a significant part of both Jewish and Christian weddings, though the specifics differ. In ancient Jewish weddings, the ketubah was a legal document in Hebrew or Aramaic, signed by two witnesses, which stipulated the groom's responsibilities to his bride and the financial support she would receive in the event of a divorce. It also signified that the groom had acquired the bride, and today, it is read to the congregation by a guest or Jewish clergy during the ceremony.
In the past, the father of the groom would choose a bride, and the father of the bride would receive payment from the groom's father, essentially buying and selling his daughter. This was part of the betrothal agreement, and the bride was expected to remain pure for her groom.
In a traditional Jewish ceremony, the vows are recorded in the ketubah and not read aloud by the couple. However, in a Christian ceremony, the couple recites vows to one another. In Christian weddings, the bride is often 'given away' by her father, symbolising the transfer of responsibility from her father to her husband, though some couples opt for the bride to be given away by both her parents.
Today, Jewish weddings have evolved to reflect gender equality, with some couples choosing to exchange two rings, and adapting the custom of the bride circling the groom before entering the chuppah (a canopy symbolising their new home). The ketubah has also been adapted to reflect feminist values, with the bride no longer viewed as property.
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Ceremony structure
The ceremony structure of Jewish weddings is quite different from that of Christian weddings.
Jewish Wedding Ceremony Structure
Technically, the Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages: the first, known as kiddushin (betrothal) and the second, nissuin (marriage). In the first stage, the woman becomes prohibited to all other men, and the second stage permits the couple to each other. In the first stage, the groom gives the bride a ring or another object of value to symbolise the creation of a marriage.
The wedding formally begins when the Sheva Brachot (seven blessings) are read by the rabbi or select guests. The blessings are considered an honour to recite. After the blessings, the groom is given a cup of wine to drink from, and the bride also drinks from the cup. In some traditions, the cup is held to the couple's lips by their new in-laws.
The bride traditionally walks around the groom three or seven times under the chuppah (canopy). This tradition is linked to the Biblical concept that seven denotes perfection or completeness. The number seven is also significant as, after the Jewish wedding, the bride left the bridal chamber unveiled after seven days.
The rabbi then begins the ceremony, which consists of the erusin or kiddushin (betrothal) and the nissuin (marriage). The couple signs the marriage contract, known as the ketubah, which outlines the duties of the husband to his wife. The vows are recorded in the ketubah and not recited aloud by the couple.
At the end of the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass with his right foot. This custom has different interpretations.
Christian Wedding Ceremony Structure
In a typical Christian wedding ceremony, both parties recite vows or say "I do" in response to a clergy-led recitation of the vows. The ceremony is often held inside a church or chapel.
Similarities
There are some similarities between the two wedding ceremonies. In both cultures, the wedding ceremony is a joyous occasion and is considered a celebratory event. Additionally, elements of both wedding ceremonies can be found in the Bible, indicating a shared religious significance.
Both Jewish and Christian weddings also involve a marriage contract or vows that outline the commitments and duties of the couple to each other. While the Jewish ketubah is signed before the ceremony, the Christian marriage contract is often signed during the ceremony as part of the legal requirements of the marriage.
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Frequently asked questions
The Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages: kiddushin (betrothal) and nissuin (marriage). In the first stage, the woman becomes prohibited to all other men, and the second stage permits the couple to each other. The ceremony begins when the Sheva Brachot (seven blessings) are read, and the couple drinks from a cup of wine. The bride is escorted to the chuppah by both mothers, and the groom is escorted by both fathers. In some traditions, the bride walks around the groom three or seven times under the chuppah. The couple then exchanges rings, and the groom breaks a glass with his right foot.
In a typical Christian wedding, both parties recite vows or say "I do" in response to a clergy-led recitation of the vows. The ceremony is often held inside a church or chapel.
One of the main differences is that in a Jewish wedding, the vows are recorded in the ketubah (a marriage contract) and not recited out loud by the couple. The ketubah is read to the congregation by a guest or the Jewish clergy. Additionally, in a Jewish wedding, the groom must see his bride before the ceremony, whereas in a Christian wedding, it is generally taboo for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony.
