Junior Rasmussen
Gay weddings closely mirror heterosexual weddings in most ways, but there are some differences. One of the most notable differences is the lack of adherence to traditional wedding customs, such as the bride walking down the aisle and being given away. Same-sex couples have the freedom and flexibility to create new traditions and plan a ceremony and reception that best fits them. For example, at one gay wedding, the couple entered from two separate entrances and walked down the aisle together. Another difference is that same-sex weddings are three times more likely to have an after-party than heterosexual weddings. Additionally, same-sex couples may face extra considerations when choosing wedding vendors and deciding whether to come out to them.
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What You'll Learn
Gay weddings are free from tradition
There is no need to stick to gendered traditions, and couples can choose to display what matters to them. For example, one couple chose to have a friend walk into the hall in a gown, arm in arm with her husband. Another couple had both sets of parents escort them to the back of the aisle, before walking down together.
There is also no need for an engagement ring when proposing. Couples can choose to give their partner a physical token of their affection, such as a watch, monogrammed cufflinks, or another memento. LGBTQ+ couples can also choose to be upfront with wedding vendors about their sexuality, especially if gender is a big part of the service offering.
The most important thing to remember is that getting married is about celebrating the love between two people. Same-sex weddings are also three times more likely to have an after-party, so the festivities can continue long after the ceremony.
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There are no rules for proposals
When it comes to proposals, there are no rules about who should propose, whether you need a ring, or whether you need to get down on one knee. You can plan a proposal that is 100% true to who you are as a couple. For example, if you want to involve a lot of people, you could propose during a flash mob or with pyrotechnics. If you want something more intimate, you could propose during a holiday or a special birthday celebration. You could write your proposal in coral rocks on a secluded stretch of beach, or propose with a jigsaw puzzle. If you want to get down on one knee, you can do that, too.
If you're not sure how your partner will react to a proposal, it's a good idea to talk openly about marriage and what it means to each of you. That way, you can avoid an unwanted surprise proposal and make sure you're both on the same page.
Once you've proposed, you can celebrate your engagement with an announcement on social media or by sending texts to your friends and family. You can also plan an engagement party to celebrate with your loved ones.
No matter how you choose to propose, the most important thing is to focus on celebrating the love that you and your partner share.
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LGBTQ+ couples can choose to come out to vendors or not
LGBTQ+ couples can choose whether or not to come out to their wedding vendors. This is a personal decision, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some couples may prefer to be upfront about their identities, while others may wish to keep this information private. Ultimately, the decision comes down to what makes the couple most comfortable.
There are a few things to keep in mind when considering whether to come out to vendors. Firstly, it is important to ensure that the vendors are LGBTQ+-friendly and will be respectful of the couple's identities. This can be done by looking for identifiers on their websites or social media, such as rainbow flags, LGBTQ+-friendly text, or images of LGBTQ+ couples. It is also worth checking if they follow any LGBTQ+ wedding experts or advocates and if they have worked with LGBTQ+ couples before.
Another factor to consider is the nature of the services provided by the vendors. If gender is a significant part of their service offering, being upfront about your identity may be important to ensure your needs are met. For example, a caterer may need to know the gender breakdown of the wedding party to plan the seating arrangement or a clothing vendor may need to know the gender of the client to suggest appropriate attire.
Some couples may also choose to use their buying power to support LGBTQ+-owned businesses or vendors who are strong allies of the community. This can be an opportunity to give back to the LGBTQ+ community and ensure that the vendors genuinely understand the couple's needs and perspectives.
On the other hand, some couples may prefer to keep their sexual orientation or gender identity private for various reasons. They may wish to avoid potential discrimination or microaggressions, or they may simply not feel comfortable sharing this personal information with their vendors. In this case, LGBTQ+ couples can choose to be more discreet or work with vendors who keep their beliefs separate from their business practices.
Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to come out to vendors is a personal one, and LGBTQ+ couples should do what feels right for them. The most important thing is to ensure that the vendors are respectful and supportive, regardless of whether they are explicitly LGBTQ+-friendly or not.
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Same-sex weddings are more likely to have an after-party
Same-sex weddings are a celebration of love and commitment, and they closely mirror opposite-sex weddings in most ways. However, there are some unique aspects to consider when planning a gay wedding, and one notable difference is the higher likelihood of an after-party.
A recent survey by The Knot revealed that same-sex weddings are three times more likely to include an after-party than heterosexual weddings. This trend showcases the desire to extend the festivities and create an even more memorable celebration.
After-parties provide an excellent opportunity to continue the joyous atmosphere and spend more quality time with friends and family. They can be particularly meaningful for LGBTQ+ couples who may have faced challenges in finding inclusive spaces to celebrate their love. The after-party can be a liberating and inclusive space, free from the constraints of more traditional wedding venues.
Additionally, same-sex weddings often involve unique and creative elements that reflect the couple's personalities and their journey. The freedom from certain traditional expectations can lead to innovative and personalised celebrations, which may naturally extend beyond the reception.
The decision to have an after-party is just one of the many choices that same-sex couples can make when planning their special day. It's a chance to embrace flexibility and create new traditions, ensuring that the wedding is a true reflection of the couple's love and their journey together.
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Guests should respect the couple's privacy
Guests should always respect the couple's privacy at weddings, but this is especially important at LGBTQ+ weddings, where couples may face additional challenges. Firstly, it is important to remember that not all same-sex couples are open about their relationships, and some may be more closeted than others. As a guest, it is your responsibility to respect their privacy and not make anything public without their consent. This includes checking with the couple before posting their pictures or any other details online.
Additionally, guests should refrain from discussing their personal feelings about same-sex weddings, especially on the RSVP card. It is important to remember that the couple has chosen to share their special day with you, and you should respect their privacy and personal space. If you are unsure about any terminologies or designations used by the couple, it is advisable to do some research beforehand and use their names if you are uncertain.
Furthermore, guests should avoid asking intrusive questions during the wedding, such as those related to parenting or legal issues. These topics can be discussed with the couple at a more appropriate time and in a more relaxed setting. It is also important to respect the couple's wishes regarding wedding vendors and their services. While most vendors are LGBTQ+-inclusive, some couples may prefer to remain discreet when dealing with vendors, especially if gender is a significant aspect of their services.
Finally, guests should be mindful of the couple's wishes regarding technology and photography. While drone photography and GoPro footage can add a fun element to the celebrations, it is essential to disclose the use of such technology to the couple and respect their privacy. In conclusion, guests should always prioritize respecting the couple's privacy and creating a safe and comfortable space for them to celebrate their love.
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Frequently asked questions
Planning a gay wedding is similar to planning a traditional wedding. You can choose to incorporate as many or as few traditions as you like. You might want to consider whether you want to come out to your vendors, as this may be important if gender is a big part of their service offering. You'll also need to decide whether you want to walk down the aisle and, if so, how you want to do this.
Since the 2015 Supreme Court ruling, same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states. Requirements vary by county, so check your local county clerk's website for a list of forms and fees.
Understand that it's not a type of wedding that needs to be labelled. It's a traditional wedding and it's special because of the couple involved, not their gender. Check with the couple if they're happy for you to post pictures online. Keep your opinions about how the wedding should happen to yourself.
