Lyla Dejesus
Jewish weddings are steeped in tradition and ritual, each with its own symbolic meaning. The ceremony is considered one of the most important events in the lifecycle of a Jewish person, and the day is treated as a personal Yom Kippur for the couple. The wedding process has two distinct stages: the betrothal (kiddushin) and the completion of the marriage (nissuin). The ceremony includes rituals such as the signing of the ketubah (a marriage contract), the exchange of rings, the breaking of the glass, and the chuppah, where the couple stands under a canopy to symbolise the home they will build together. The wedding feast is a time for celebration, with singing, eating, drinking, and lots of dancing.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of Stages | Two |
| First Stage | Kiddushin (betrothal) |
| Second Stage | Nisu'in (finalization of nuptials) |
| Kiddushin | Groom gives the bride a ring or another object of value |
| Nisu'in | Husband and wife unite under one roof for the sake of marriage |
| Chuppah | A canopy held up by four poles |
| Ketubah | A marriage contract specifying the groom's commitments to the bride |
| Yichud | A short period of time for the couple to eat and relax before the celebrations |
| Wedding Feast | Dancing, singing, eating, and drinking |
| Sheva Brachot | Seven days of celebration |
| Kabbalat Panim | A special reception held in honour of the bride and groom |
| Breaking the Glass | Symbolises the destruction of the Second Temple |
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What You'll Learn
Signing of the Ketubah (marriage contract)
The signing of the Ketubah, a Jewish marriage contract, is one of the most important rituals in a Jewish wedding. It is a longstanding tradition that has been an essential part of Jewish weddings for over 2,000 years. The Ketubah outlines the terms of marriage for the couple, including the husband's obligations to his wife and what the wife is entitled to in the event of a divorce or death.
The Ketubah is usually signed in a separate, intimate ceremony before the wedding, often 30 to 60 minutes beforehand. It is a quiet, reflective moment for the couple and their loved ones. The document is filled out, reviewed, and signed by the couple and two witnesses, who must not be blood-related family members. The witnesses sign the document to validate the marriage.
The Ketubah traditionally includes the date, place, and names of the bride and groom, as well as the husband's declaration towards his wife, including his promise to provide for her. It also outlines a settlement payment due in the event of a divorce and the amount the wife brings to the marriage through her dowry.
In contemporary Jewish weddings, the text of the Ketubah is often more egalitarian and relationship-focused, with couples either composing their own text or purchasing one that better suits their relationship. Some couples include their vows in the contract, while others incorporate poetry or song. The Ketubah is often a beautiful piece of artwork that can be framed and displayed in the couple's home.
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Chuppah ceremony
The Chuppah ceremony is a focal point of a Jewish wedding. The word 'Chuppah' is used to refer to both the canopy under which the wedding takes place, as well as the wedding ceremony itself. The ceremony is characterised by an air of solemnity, with brides and grooms shedding tears due to the magnitude of the occasion.
The Chuppah ceremony symbolises the new home being created by the couple through their marriage. The ceremony takes place under a square cloth canopy, known as the Chuppah, supported by four poles, and usually held by four men. The canopy is usually made of silk or velvet, and symbolises the shelter and privacy of the couple's new home. The bride and groom stand at the centre of the canopy, surrounded by their closest family and friends, who form a protective wall of love and support. The bride follows the groom towards the Chuppah, and both are usually escorted by their respective parents.
The Chuppah ceremony involves the reading of the Ketubah, a marriage contract detailing the groom's obligations to the bride, including food, clothing, and marital relations. The Ketubah is signed by the groom and two witnesses before the ceremony and is often a beautiful piece of artwork that can be framed and displayed in the couple's home. During the Chuppah ceremony, the Ketubah is read aloud, usually in its original Aramaic or in translation.
The ceremony also includes the Blessings of Betrothal (Kiddushin), where two cups of wine are used. The rabbi recites the blessings, and the couple drinks from the first cup, expressing their resolve to create a Jewish home dedicated to God and the well-being of humanity. The second cup is associated with the giving of the ring, which officially seals the marriage according to Jewish law. The couple exchanges rings and declares their betrothal vows, consecrating themselves to each other.
The Chuppah ceremony is a solemn and symbolic part of the Jewish wedding, marking the union of the couple under the canopy and their commitment to build a life together.
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Blessings of Betrothal (Kiddushin)
The Jewish wedding process has two distinct stages: the first, known as Kiddushin, and the second, Nissu'in. Kiddushin, loosely translated from Hebrew as "betrothal", is the stage where the woman becomes prohibited to all other men, requiring a religious divorce to dissolve it.
The Blessings of Betrothal (Kiddushin) involve two cups of wine. The rabbi first recites a blessing over the wine and then the betrothal blessing, which acknowledges the sanctity of marriage and thanks God for sanctifying the couple with the mitzvah of betrothal before consummating their marriage. The couple then drinks from the first cup. The betrothal blessings express the couple's resolve to create a Jewish home, dedicated to God and the well-being of humanity.
The second sentence of the blessing expresses the necessity of the contractual (kiddushin) aspect of marriage by affirming God's command over it, but also expresses its insufficiency through the image of God bringing couples to the huppah, symbolising the "other part" of marriage. The blessing is unusual because it prohibits conjugal relations after betrothal if the nuptials have not yet been held.
The groom then gives the bride a ring or another object of value, which traditionally completes the first stage of the wedding ceremony.
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Wedding feast
The wedding feast, or seudat nissuin, is a joyous occasion for observant Jews. It follows a Jewish wedding, which traditionally begins with a special "kabbalat panim", or reception, in honour of the newlywed couple.
The seudat nissuin is a seudat mitzvah, a celebratory meal accompanied by music, dancing, singing, and drinking. The newlyweds are blessed, and then the kosher wine and challah are blessed before being served. After the meal, Birkat Hamazon and Sheva Brachot are recited, and the newlyweds dance. The Sheva Brachot is a seven-day celebration, during which the newlyweds are waited on by the wedding party. If the couple has been married before, the seudat nissuin lasts only three days.
In ancient times, the wedding feast might have lasted seven full days, but today, it usually refers to a wedding supper and reception. However, Orthodox Jews continue to celebrate for seven nights, hosting festive meals in honour of the couple.
The wedding feast is preceded by several rituals and ceremonies. The bride and groom sign the ketubah, or marriage contract, in the presence of a rabbi and two witnesses. The ketubah specifies the groom's commitments to the bride, including food, clothing, and marital relations. It is often a work of art that can be framed and displayed in the couple's home. Under the chuppah, or canopy, the signed ketubah is read aloud, usually in its original Aramaic. The chuppah ceremony is traditionally characterised by an air of solemnity, with the bride and groom shedding tears due to an acute awareness of the magnitude of the moment. The groom may wear a kittel, a long white frock, and the bride typically wears a white gown, symbolising God's atonement and purity. The deceased ancestors of the couple are believed to descend from heaven to join the wedding celebration.
The wedding ceremony also includes the betrothal, or kiddushin, and the finalisation of the nuptials, or nissuin. The kiddushin occurs when the groom gives the bride a ring or another object of value, and the rabbi recites blessings over a cup of wine. The nissuin is accomplished when the couple unites under the same roof, standing under the canopy or in a room together (yichud). The yichud is a secluded opportunity for the couple to spend quality time together and break their fast if they chose to fast on their wedding day.
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Breaking the glass
The breaking of the glass is a near-universal feature of Jewish weddings, and its significance is multi-faceted. The tradition is thought to have originated in the Middle Ages, when synagogue facades in Germany were inlaid with a special stone for smashing a glass at the end of weddings. The glass is usually wrapped in a cloth or napkin to prevent injury and placed on the floor in front of the groom.
The breaking of the glass is often interpreted as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and the pain and losses suffered by the Jewish people over the centuries. This interpretation reflects the idea that even in moments of great joy, we must remember the sorrows of the past and the world's ongoing need for healing. The fragility of the glass symbolises the frailty of human relationships and serves as a reminder that even the strongest love can disintegrate.
The act of breaking the glass is also said to scare away evil spirits that may prey on the couple and try to wreak havoc in their relationship. Additionally, it symbolises the sweetness that exists alongside bitterness in life, acknowledging that while a wedding brings joy, the world still experiences turmoil and requires care and love.
Some couples choose to incorporate the shards of the broken glass into a decorative piece, such as a mosaic, to display in their marital home as a reminder of their special day.
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Frequently asked questions
The wedding party enters the main ceremony area where all the guests are seated. The bride and groom then stand under the chuppah, a canopy held up by four poles, symbolising the shelter and privacy of the home they will create together.
The ketubah is a marriage contract, signed by the groom and two witnesses, that outlines the groom's commitments to the bride. It is often a beautiful piece of artwork that can be framed and displayed in the couple's home.
Kiddushin means "betrothal" and is the first of two distinct stages in the Jewish wedding process. It involves the groom giving the bride a ring or another object of value, and the couple drinking from a cup of wine.
The Yichud is when the couple has time alone away from family and guests to reflect on their marriage before joining the celebrations.
There is lots of dancing, singing, eating and drinking. The guests dance in front of the seated couple to entertain them, and the couple may be lifted up and carried in chairs around the dance floor.
