Deborah Chan
Addressing wedding invitations to family members can be a tricky task, especially if you're worried about making a mistake. However, it's a straightforward process that only requires you to follow a few simple rules. The key considerations are whether you're using single or double envelopes, the formality of the wedding, and whether children are included in the invitation.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Outer envelope | "The [Family Name] Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. [Father Name] [Family Name]" or "Mr. [Father Name] [Family Name] and Mrs. [Mother Name] [Family Name]" |
| Inner envelope | "Mr. and Mrs. [Family Name]" or " [Father Name], [Mother Name], [Child 1 Name], [Child 2 Name], Miss [Child 3 Name], and Miss [Child 4 Name]" |
What You'll Learn
Married Couple, Same Last Name
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few different ways to do so depending on the couple's preferences and the level of formality you wish to convey. Here are some examples:
For a heterosexual couple, the traditional way to address the outer envelope is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
However, many modern women may prefer to have their first name included rather than being addressed solely by their husband's name. In this case, you can address the outer envelope as follows:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
If you are having a casual wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or brunch in the park, you have more flexibility with the format and may choose to use only first and last names or leave off titles altogether. However, for a more formal wedding, it is generally best to err on the side of formality and use the more traditional formats provided above.
Additionally, if one or both members of the couple have distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, judges, etc., be sure to include these in the address. The person with the higher-ranking title or the one you are closest to should be listed first, regardless of gender.
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Married Couple, Different Last Names
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names, there are a few general guidelines to follow. For a heterosexual couple, the woman's name is written first, followed by the man's name, and both names are written on the same line. If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, the names can be listed separately. Here is an example of how to address the outer and inner envelopes:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
If you are inviting a family with children under the age of 18, the outer envelope should include the names of the parents, and the inner envelope should list each child by name. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". Here is an example:
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham"
Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly"
If you are inviting a family with children over the age of 18, each person should receive their own invitation, unless they live at home with their parents. In this case, follow the same format as for a family with younger children. You don't need to use titles for adult children, but you can if you prefer. Here is an example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Audrey Abraham"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Abraham"
If you are having a casual wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or brunch in the park, you may choose to address the envelopes less formally, such as using only first names or leaving off titles. However, for a more formal wedding, it is best to err on the side of formality.
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Married Couple, One Hyphenated Last Name
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is more formal, and you should use the full names of the recipients, including titles. For example, if the wife has chosen to hyphenate her last name, the invitation could be addressed as:
> Mr. Michael Jones and Ms. Mary Smith-Jones
Alternatively, you could use "Mrs." instead of "Ms." if the wife prefers this title or if you are unsure of her preference. It is also acceptable to use "Mr." and "Mrs." if the wife is particular about her hyphenated name, for example:
> Mr. Michael Jones and Mrs. Mary Jones-Smith
For the inner envelope, you can be more informal. You could address the couple using their titles and surnames, or just their first names, for example:
> Mr. Jones and Ms. Smith-Jones
>
> Michael and Mary
If you are not using inner envelopes, you can include the children's names on the second line of the outer envelope. For a more modern approach, you could address the whole family with the "Family" moniker, for example:
> The Jones Family
>
> Michael, Mary, Anders, and Sue
It is important to note that the order of the names may vary depending on personal preference or cultural norms. Some people may choose to list the person they are closest with first, while others may opt for alphabetical order. Ultimately, the most important thing is to use the names and titles that your guests prefer and feel comfortable with.
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Inviting Children
When it comes to inviting children to your wedding, there are a few different scenarios to consider, and the way you address the envelopes can help indicate who is and isn't invited.
If you are inviting children under the age of 18, their names should be included on the inner envelope only, listed in order of age. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss", while boys under 18 do not need a title.
Outer envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham
Inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Abraham, Daniel, Jeffrey, Miss Brittany, and Mx. Kelly
If you are using only one envelope, you can list the parents' names followed by "and family" or list the names of all family members, including children.
If you are inviting children who are 18 or older, they should receive their own invitations, unless they are living at home with their parents. In this case, you can follow the same format as the family invitations.
Outer envelope: Ms. Audrey Abraham
Inner envelope: Ms. Abraham
Not Inviting Children
If you are not inviting children to your wedding, simply omit their names from the invitation. However, it is important to note that some guests may still assume their children are welcome if you don't explicitly state that children are not invited. To avoid confusion, you can include a message on your wedding website stating that the event is adults-only. You may also want to ask your immediate family and wedding party to help spread the word.
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Addressing the Whole Family
When addressing wedding invitations, it's important to consider the level of formality you wish to convey, as well as the specific relationships of the invitees. Here are some guidelines for addressing the whole family:
Using Only an Outer Envelope:
Address the invitation to "The [Family Name] Family". This implies that all family members, including children, are invited to both the ceremony and reception. This approach is suitable for a casual wedding.
Using Both an Outer and an Inner Envelope:
On the outer envelope, only the adults' names are necessary. Use their titles and full names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson". If the couple has different last names, you can write "Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson".
On the inner envelope, include the names of the parents and their children. Begin with the parents' names, followed by the names of the children in order of age. For girls under 18, you may use "Miss" as an honorific. For example: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily".
Additional Tips:
- If you prefer a less formal approach, you can omit titles and use first names only, especially on the inner envelope.
- If you are inviting a widow, it is best to inquire about their preferred form of address. They may prefer to use their married last name or their first name followed by their husband's full name.
- If you are not inviting children, do not include their names on the inner envelope. This should imply that they are not invited. However, be prepared for some guests to still assume their children are welcome. It may be helpful to clarify on your wedding website that the event is adults-only.
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Frequently asked questions
On the outer envelope, use the name(s) of the parent(s) or guardian(s). On the inner envelope, list each child by name. Girls under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". Boys don't need a title until they're 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr.".
If you don't list the children on the inner envelope, your guests should understand that they are not invited. However, be aware that not everyone follows this convention, and some people may incorrectly assume that their children are invited.
If the married couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's first and last name, e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". Alternatively, you can use both the husband's and the wife's first and last names if you want to address both partners equally, e.g. "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
If the married couple has different last names, list each full name with an "and" between the names to indicate marriage, e.g. "Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt".
If the couple is not married but living together, place them on two different lines. List the person you are closest to first. If you are equally close to both, go in alphabetical order.
