Bridesmaids: Breaking Tradition, Making Your Own Rules

There are many reasons why someone might choose not to have bridesmaids at their wedding. Some people may not have enough friends to ask, or they may not want to rank their friends in terms of importance. Others may want to avoid the cost of having bridesmaids, or they may want to avoid any added drama or complications that could arise. Some couples prefer to keep their wedding small and intimate, and including bridesmaids might not align with this vision. Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.

You don't want to rank your friends

Deciding not to have bridesmaids is a personal decision that can be influenced by many factors. One reason someone might opt for a wedding without bridesmaids is that they don't want to rank their friends.

Ranking friends can be considered childish and potentially dangerous, but it can also be a novel way to get to know each other. However, it is not always productive to rank friends, as it can lead to hurt feelings and indicate an inability to spread love and value different friendships. Ranking friends can also be seen as a way to keep "friend expectations" in check, ensuring that no one feels left out or excluded.

Some people choose to divide their friends into categories, such as "family/lifetime friends" and "nice-to-see-you friends," to help manage their expectations and avoid unnecessary drama. This can be especially helpful when feeling left out or annoyed with a friend, as it allows for honest self-reflection and kindness towards one's inner circle.

Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal one, and each couple should do what is best for them. It is important to remember that a wedding is about the couple and their closest loved ones, and it is okay to have a small bridal party or none at all.

You want to save money

Saving Money by Not Having Bridesmaids

Being a bridesmaid can be an expensive affair, with the average woman spending a ton of money to be a bridesmaid. The costs can quickly add up, from the bridesmaid dress to travel expenses and pre-wedding events. If you want to save money, one option is to forgo having bridesmaids altogether. Here are some reasons why this might be a good idea:

Bridesmaid Dresses Can Be Pricey

One of the biggest expenses for bridesmaids is often the dress. These dresses can cost hundreds of dollars, and they are usually only worn once. If you're trying to save money, skipping the bridesmaid dresses can be a wise financial decision.

Travel Expenses Add Up

If your wedding involves any travel, the costs for bridesmaids can quickly escalate. They may need to pay for flights, hotels, and other transportation costs. By not having bridesmaids, you can help them avoid these expenses.

Pre-Wedding Events Can Be Costly

Bridesmaids are often expected to attend and help plan pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. These events can be fun, but they can also be expensive. From decorations to food and drinks, the costs can add up quickly. If you're trying to save money, skipping these events or having more low-key celebrations can help reduce expenses for everyone involved.

Gifts for Bridesmaids

It is customary for the bride to give her bridesmaids gifts as a token of appreciation for their participation in the wedding. These gifts can range from personalised robes to jewellery or other accessories. While it's not mandatory to give gifts, it is a nice gesture. However, if you're trying to save money, you may want to consider forgoing bridesmaids altogether to avoid the additional expense of gifts.

Hair and Makeup

Bridesmaids often incur costs for hair and makeup services on the wedding day. While it's not required, many bridesmaids feel pressured to have their hair and makeup done professionally. This can add up to a significant expense, especially if the bride is requiring a specific look or style. By not having bridesmaids, you can help them avoid these costs.

Time Commitment

Being a bridesmaid is a time-consuming role, and it may require taking time off from work or other commitments. If your bridesmaids have busy schedules or are trying to save money, they may appreciate not having to dedicate time to pre-wedding events and other bridal party obligations.

In conclusion, if you're trying to save money, one option is to forgo having bridesmaids. This can help reduce expenses for both you and your bridal party. It's important to remember that the focus of a wedding should be on celebrating your love and commitment, rather than creating financial strain for those involved.

You want your friends to have fun

If you want your friends to have fun, you might be considering skipping the bridesmaids altogether. It's your wedding, and you want your friends to enjoy themselves without the added stress of being in the bridal party. After all, being a bridesmaid can be expensive and time-consuming, and you don't want to put your friends in an awkward position.

• Financial Burden: Being a bridesmaid can be costly, with expenses for dresses, hair, makeup, and other accessories adding up quickly. By not having bridesmaids, you relieve your friends of this financial burden and allow them to attend your wedding without worrying about money.
• Time Commitment: Being a bridesmaid often requires a significant time commitment, from planning bridal showers and bachelorette parties to attending dress fittings and rehearsals. By eliminating this responsibility, your friends can enjoy the wedding festivities without feeling overwhelmed or stretched too thin.
• Awkwardness and Drama: Selecting bridesmaids can sometimes lead to hurt feelings or drama among friends. Someone may feel left out or disappointed if they are not chosen, and this can create an uncomfortable situation. By forgoing bridesmaids, you avoid this potential source of tension and keep the focus on celebrating your special day with all your friends.
• Enjoyment of the Day: Without the responsibilities of a bridesmaid, your friends can fully relax and enjoy your wedding day. They can arrive as guests, celebrate with you, and leave without the pressure of specific duties or expectations. This way, they can create memories and have fun without the stress of being in the wedding party.
• Individual Preferences: Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to being in the spotlight. Some friends may feel anxious or uncomfortable about standing up at the altar or giving a speech. By not having bridesmaids, you respect their individual preferences and allow them to participate in a way that feels most natural to them.

Remember, your wedding is about celebrating your love and surrounding yourself with the people you care about. If having bridesmaids will make the day more stressful for you and your friends, it's perfectly fine to opt for a bridal party-free celebration. Ultimately, do what feels right for you and your friends, and focus on creating a joyful and memorable day for everyone involved.

You want a non-traditional wedding

If you want a non-traditional wedding, there are many ways to make your special day unique. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

The Venue

Opting for an unconventional venue is a great way to set the tone for a non-traditional wedding. Consider hosting your wedding at an art gallery, a warehouse, your backyard, city hall, or even eloping to a park or a summer camp. If you want to stick to a more traditional venue, you can always choose to forgo the wedding party entirely and make the day solely about you and your partner.

The Guest List

Keeping your guest list small and intimate is another way to make your wedding non-traditional. This not only allows you to celebrate with your closest loved ones but also gives you more flexibility with your venue options.

The Timing

Who says weddings have to be on a Saturday? Weekday weddings are a great way to break tradition and often come with perks like lower costs and more availability. You could even choose a Monday for a "Taco Tuesday" themed wedding!

The Bridal Party

Traditional bridal parties typically consist of a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen, but you can switch things up by having a gender-blind wedding party, including your ride-or-die BFFs regardless of their gender identity. You could even forgo the concept of a bridal party altogether and simply have a "Dog of Honor" and "Best Pup"!

The Attire

When it comes to wedding attire, there is no need to stick to the traditional white dress and tuxedo. Feel free to add some colour, flare, or cultural attire to make it more personal and fun. You could even wear a vintage dress or a sequined jumpsuit!

The Ceremony

The wedding ceremony is usually the most traditional part of the day, but there are many ways to make it unique. You can walk down the aisle together, include your pets, have a friend or family member officiate, write your own vows, or include a unique ritual like a handfasting ceremony.

The Reception

Instead of a traditional sit-down dinner, consider hosting a cocktail-style reception with heavy hors d'oeuvres and signature cocktails. Food trucks, arcade games, and lawn games are also fun alternatives to the usual wedding reception activities. If you're feeling adventurous, you could even replace the first dance with a newlyweds game or have a drag queen officiate or perform at your reception!

The Food

While a wedding cake is traditional, it's not your only option. Why not offer a new take on dessert with a cotton candy machine, a pie bar, or even donuts instead of cake? If you're feeling extra adventurous, you could even host a wedding brunch with a waffle cake and free-flowing mimosas!

Remember, it's your wedding, so feel free to get creative and make it truly yours!

You don't want to deal with drama

Bridesmaids can be a great source of support and help for the bride in the lead-up to the wedding and on the big day itself. However, they can also bring a lot of drama and stress. If you want to avoid this, it's perfectly valid to opt for a wedding without bridesmaids.

One of the main sources of drama can be the clash of personalities. Even if you get along with all your bridesmaids, they might not get along with each other, especially if you're mixing different groups, like high school and college friends. This can lead to tension and conflict, which can be challenging to navigate as a bride.

Another potential issue is the added stress of planning and coordinating with a large group of people. You have to consider their schedules, personal preferences, and personalities when organizing fittings, bachelorette trips, and other pre-wedding events. This can be time-consuming and overwhelming, taking away from the joy of your wedding preparations.

Additionally, there can be challenges in deciding who will be a bridesmaid. Choosing among your close friends and family members can create tension and hurt feelings if some people are left out. This can put a strain on your relationships and cause drama in the lead-up to your wedding.

By opting for a wedding without bridesmaids, you can avoid these potential sources of drama and stress. It allows you to focus on your relationship with your partner and create a more intimate and inclusive atmosphere with your family and friends. You can still involve your closest friends and family in other ways, such as having them do a reading, joining you while getting ready, or including them in your bachelorette party.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. If having bridesmaids will add to your joy and excitement, go for it! But if you feel that the potential for drama and stress outweighs the benefits, it's completely valid to forgo bridesmaids and create a celebration that aligns with your vision and values.

Frequently asked questions