Lyla Dejesus
The phrase forsaking all others is a well-known part of traditional wedding vows, often interpreted as pledging one's fidelity and monogamy. However, its interpretation and relevance in modern weddings have sparked debates. Some view it as an antiquated and uncompromising way of vowing exclusivity, while others argue that it may lead to the neglect of other important relationships like friendships and family. The phrase is not technically part of the vows but is included in the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church. It precedes the actual vows, asking if one will love, comfort, honour, and keep their spouse, forsaking all others.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Part of the wedding vows | No, it is part of the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer |
| Religious context | Christian |
| Meaning | To be faithful to one's spouse |
| Biblical reference | Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:31 |
| Other implications | Giving up friends and family, being unfaithful |
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What You'll Learn
'Forsaking all others' is a declaration of monogamous fidelity
The phrase "forsaking all others" is a declaration of monogamous fidelity, which is a part of the traditional marriage vows. It is found in the Book of Common Prayer (BCP) of the Anglican Church, published in 1549. The marriage ceremony outlined in the BCP forms the basis for most weddings in the United States.
The phrase is included in the Declaration of Consent, which occurs prior to the actual vows. The officiant asks: "Will you have this man/woman to be your husband/wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him/her, comfort him/her, honor and keep him/her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him/her as long as you both shall live?".
The phrase "forsaking all others" is a strong and uncompromising pledge of fidelity and commitment. It implies a promise to forsake all other romantic interests and sexual partners. However, some people find this phrase problematic as it may be interpreted as encouraging exclusivity at the expense of other important relationships, such as friendships or family ties.
Despite its traditional use, the phrase "forsaking all others" is not universally included in modern wedding vows. Some couples may choose to omit it, especially those who practice non-monogamy or have different interpretations of fidelity. Ultimately, the inclusion or exclusion of this phrase in wedding vows is a personal choice that reflects the couple's beliefs and values.
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It is not a vow to give up family and friends
The phrase "forsaking all others" is included in the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church, which was published in 1549. It is not technically part of the marriage vows but precedes them. The phrase is interpreted in different ways; it could refer to monogamous fidelity, forsaking other romantic interests and sexual partners. It could also refer to God's command that a man leaves his father and mother and cleave to his wife.
However, some people take issue with the phrase "forsaking all others", arguing that it could be damaging to other relationships with friends and family. It is suggested that this phrase could be replaced with "the intention of being faithful in marriage".
Indeed, wedding vows are often made in front of friends and family, and many couples refer to their partner as their best friend. For example, one person's vows included the following: "You are my best friend and I'm the luckiest person on Earth to call you mine". Another set of vows stated: "I take you as my husband. Because this is a great love story and we’re getting married and I love you... You are the most giving, selfless person I know and I thank God every day that you have given all of your love to me, without any hesitation. I promise to walk with you, hand in hand through life, as your biggest fan, your shoulder to lean on, and your best friend".
Other vows refer to the couple's shared friends and family, and their adventures with them: "With you I feel like half of an unstoppable whole, and I can't wait to take on this life with you as my best friend and lifelong partner. I am not only looking forward, but am anxious to continue on our many adventures and excursions together... Exploring the best national parks on this continent, traversing the globe, playing golf and pickup field hockey, long-boarding along the beach, attending ice hockey games and concerts that range from heavy metal to Lady Gaga, and most importantly, building a home and a family with you in close proximity to a large body of water".
Some couples also make explicit reference to the importance of their friends and family in their vows: "I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family's love and happiness my priority".
In Hindu weddings, couples recite a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps. One of these vows is "for friendship—to be dependable and faithful and for lifelong companionship".
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It is a pledge to love, comfort, honour and keep one another
The phrase "forsaking all others" is not technically part of the marriage vows but is included in the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church published in 1549. The marriage ceremony outlined in the Book of Common Prayer is the basis for most weddings in the United States. The Declaration of Consent occurs prior to the actual vows.
The traditional wedding vows are a pledge to love, comfort, honour, and keep one another. They are a promise of lifelong love and avow commitment even when the flames of passion have burnt out.
The traditional wedding vows for Viking and Norse weddings were straightforward and pragmatic, much like the nature of Norse society. They were:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. By the strength of Thor's hammer, I vow to protect and cherish you. By the light of the sun and the power of the gods, I pledge to love and honour you always. There shall be one end for us both; one bond after our vows; nor shall our first love aimlessly perish.
Traditional Unitarian Universalist Wedding Vows are:
> [Name], will you take [name] to be your wife/husband; love, honour and cherish her/him now and forevermore? [Name], will you take [name] as your wife/husband, will you pledge to share your life openly with her/him, to speak the truth to her/him, in love? Will you promise to honour and tenderly care for her/him, to encourage her/him fulfilment as an individual through all the changes in your lives? [Name], will you have this woman/man, [name], to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage, will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honour her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?
Anglican wedding vows are the traditional Christian wedding vows for couples marrying in accordance with the Anglican tradition. The denomination is notable for its use of The Book of Common Prayer as a basis for liturgy. As such, Anglican wedding vows can be taken from that collection of writings.
The oldest traditional wedding vows can be traced back to the manuals of the medieval church. In England, there were manuals of the dioceses of Salisbury (Sarum) and York. The compilers of the first Book of Common Prayer, published in 1549, based its marriage service mainly on the Sarum manual. Upon agreement to marry, the Church of England usually offered couples a choice. The couple could promise each other to "love and cherish" or, alternatively, the groom promises to "love, cherish, and worship", and the bride to "love, cherish, and obey".
Civil ceremonies often allow couples to choose their own marriage vows, although many civil marriage vows are adapted from the traditional vows, taken from the Book of Common Prayer, "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."
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It is not part of the marriage vows, but the Declaration of Consent
The phrase "forsaking all others" is not part of the marriage vows but is included in the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church, published in 1549. The marriage ceremony outlined in this book forms the basis for most weddings in the United States. The Declaration of Consent occurs prior to the actual vows, and it is during this part of the ceremony that the phrase "forsaking all others" is used.
The officiant asks: "Will you have this man/woman to be your husband/wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him/her, comfort him/her, honor and keep him/her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him/her as long as you both shall live?"
The phrase "forsaking all others" is a pledge of fidelity and commitment. It is a promise to be faithful to one's spouse and not have an open relationship. However, some people interpret it as giving up one's friends and family, which is not the intended meaning.
The inclusion of "forsaking all others" in the Declaration of Consent is meant to emphasise the seriousness of the commitment being made and to prevent infidelity. It is a reminder that marriage is a covenant that requires willingness to be faithful to each other and to uphold the sanctity of the union.
While the phrase is not technically part of the vows, it is an important aspect of the wedding ceremony, setting the tone for the solemnity and gravity of the occasion. It is a reminder of the exclusivity and enduring nature of the relationship being entered into by the couple.
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It is a vow that mirrors Jesus' 'marriage' to the church
The phrase "forsaking all others" is included in the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church, which was published in 1549. The declaration occurs before the actual vows and is not considered to be a part of them.
> Will you have this man/woman to be your husband/wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him/her, comfort him/her, honor and keep him/her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him/her as long as you both shall live?
The concept of "forsaking all others" in wedding vows has been criticised as being "dangerous, potentially idolatrous, and damaging to other relationships, especially friendship". However, some interpret it as mirroring Jesus' "marriage" to the church.
> I, _____, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife. With deepest joy I receive you into my life that together we may be one. As is Christ to His body, the church, so I will be to you a loving and faithful husband. Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life.
In Christian weddings, the vows exchanged are a profound expression of commitment and faith. While there are no specific wedding vows in the Bible, Christian wedding vows are based on biblical principles and scriptures that speak to the importance of marriage. For example, husbands are instructed to:
> love [their wives] as Christ loves the Church. It is my desire and delight to follow this scriptural teaching. With all my heart, I make this pledge to you.
Wives, on the other hand, are instructed to:
> submit to [their husbands] as unto Him. Our Father created woman to be man's helper.
Christian wedding vows beautifully balance timeless faith-based promises with the couple's unique story. While traditional vows remain popular, many couples are choosing to personalise their commitments, creating a heartfelt expression of love that reflects their spiritual journey together.
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Frequently asked questions
"Forsaking all others" is a phrase that indicates a promise of lifelong love and monogamous fidelity. It is a pledge to remain faithful and committed to one's spouse, forsaking all other romantic interests or sexual partners.
The phrase "forsaking all others" is not technically part of the wedding vows but is included in the Declaration of Consent from the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church. This declaration occurs prior to the actual vows and is a solemn promise of fidelity and commitment.
The phrase "forsaking all others" is rooted in religious traditions, specifically in the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican Church, published in 1549. It reflects a commitment to one's spouse that mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church.
Some people view the phrase "forsaking all others" as controversial because it can be interpreted as excluding all other relationships, including family and friends. It may suggest that the spouse becomes the sole priority, potentially impacting other important connections.
"Forsaking all others" is a strong expression of fidelity, going beyond simply avoiding an open relationship or extramarital affairs. It emphasizes the exclusivity of the marital bond and the commitment to remain faithful only to one's spouse throughout their lives together.
