Deborah Chan
Wedding vows are a crucial part of a wedding day, symbolising the moment when a couple officially becomes one.. The traditional phrasing of I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [lawfully wedded] [wife/husband/partner], is often used as a starting point for couples to personalise their vows. These traditional vows have stood the test of time and are still meaningful to couples today, but modern alternatives are becoming increasingly popular. Couples may choose to write their own vows, incorporating humour, inside jokes, and unique promises. The length of wedding vows is typically around 250 to 300 words, and it is recommended to start writing them at least three months in advance to ensure they are well-prepared and memorised for the big day.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Tone | Serious, yet lighthearted |
| Content | Love, hopes, promises, and support |
| Format | Any format, including traditional structure or self-written |
| Length | 1-2 minutes |
| Mentioning loved ones | Optional, but recommended |
| Mentioning children | Recommended if applicable |
| Personalization | Encouraged |
| Mentioning "I love you" | Optional, but common |
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What You'll Learn
The couple takes each other as husband and wife
The concept of taking someone in marriage is to accept them completely—their talents, flaws, dreams, failures, and potential. It is a declaration of commitment to one person, rejecting all others.
Example 1
Bride: I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.
Groom: I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Example 2
Bride: I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping myself solely unto you for as long as we both shall live.
Groom: I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, to love, honor and cherish, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping myself solely unto you for as long as we both shall live.
Example 3
Bride: I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
Groom: I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
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The bride and groom are united in matrimony
The bride and groom may wish to include in their vows a series of promises, outlining how they plan to support each other through the various situations that may arise in their marriage. They might also wish to share personal anecdotes, recounting romantic stories of how they knew their partner was "the one", or lighthearted accounts of dates that went awry.
The bride and groom could also acknowledge the role that their loved ones have played in enhancing their relationship and call on them for continued support in the future. They might also include language that speaks to the future of their family unit, especially if they have children.
The bride and groom are now united as one, and their wedding vows are a testament to their love, hopes, and promises to one another. They have shared their intentions to get through the peaks and valleys of life together, and their words will elevate this special day and their future together.
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The couple pledges to be faithful and honest
Wedding vows are a serious, lifelong commitment made in front of many witnesses. They are also a chance to showcase your love, hopes, and promises. The couple can pledge to be faithful and honest by including the following in their vows:
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband/wife. I promise to be faithful and honest with you, always. I will love you unconditionally and put you first. I will support you and care for you through good times and bad. When you need a friend, I will be your best friend. When you need help, I will be there for you. I will be by your side forever, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and I will never leave your side."
The couple can also include personal stories or anecdotes that showcase their commitment to each other and their journey towards marriage. For instance, they can recount romantic stories of how they knew their partner was "the one", or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenging times. They can also include lighthearted promises, such as vowing to always be the one to kill spiders.
Additionally, the couple can choose to acknowledge the role that their loved ones have played in enhancing their relationship and call on them for continued support and guidance in the future. This can be a way to involve their community in their vows and express gratitude for the people who have supported their relationship.
The couple might also want to include specific circumstances they anticipate will come up in their marriage and articulate how they will react and support each other through those situations. For example, they can speak about their future family unit and the role they will play as partners and parents.
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The couple promises to love and cherish each other
The couple may choose to include religious references in their vows, such as "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I promise to love and cherish you all the days of my life." Alternatively, they might prefer to emphasise their commitment to one another, promising to "love, honour, and cherish" each other "as long as we both shall live".
The couple may also wish to express their gratitude for finding their soulmate and life partner. For example, " [Name], I feel like the most blessed person in the world. I have not only found my life-long companion, the lover of my heart, but my soul mate. Thank you for standing by me and sticking with me through thick and thin; for seeing the person that’s before you now."
The couple's vows are a public declaration of their love and commitment to one another. They are a promise to support and care for each other, and to create a life together built on a foundation of love and mutual respect. The couple may wish to emphasise this aspect in their vows, promising to "have and to hold" each other, and to give myself to no other".
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The couple is pronounced husband and wife
The couple is now pronounced husband and wife. The vows have been exchanged, and the couple has made their promises to one another. These promises are a serious, lifelong commitment, made in front of many witnesses, and they set the tone for the next chapter in the couple's relationship.
The newlyweds have likely included traditional elements in their vows, such as a pledge to stand by each other's side through good times and bad. They may have also personalised their vows, sharing anecdotes and making lighthearted promises, such as vowing to be the one to kill spiders.
The couple may have chosen to include language that speaks to the future of their family unit, especially if they have children already. They may have also shared romantic stories about how they knew their partner was "the one", or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenging times.
The vows are a chance for the couple to express their love and make promises they intend to uphold throughout their married lives. They are a chance to celebrate the relationship and the journey the couple has been on, and will continue to take, together.
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Frequently asked questions
To "take someone in marriage" is to completely accept them, including their talents, flaws, dreams, failures, and potential. It is a declaration of commitment to that person and no one else.
A traditional wedding vow goes something like this: "I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."
Yes, it is becoming more common for couples to write their own vows. It is a great way to make the ceremony more personal and meaningful. Couples can also choose to memorise their vows, repeat after the officiant, or respond with "I do" or "I will" to questions asked by the officiant.
