Junior Rasmussen
The phrase do you take this person to be your lawfully wedded is part of the declaration of intent, a standard part of most wedding ceremonies. The declaration of intent is a couple's statement affirming their desire to get married. During this part of the ceremony, the officiant asks each person if they will take their partner as their spouse, to which the couple responds with I do or I will. This is the verbal equivalent of signing a marriage license and is required by law in many states. The exact script varies based on whether the ceremony is religious or not, with religious declarations invoking God or other spiritual terms. The declaration of intent is distinct from wedding vows, which are promises each partner makes to the other during the ceremony. While the declaration of intent is legally required, vows are not necessary in most legal jurisdictions, and couples may choose to share them privately outside of the ceremony.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Purpose | To communicate that the couple is entering into a commitment of their own free will |
| Legal requirement | Mandatory in some states |
| Customisation | Couples can play with the wording to match their values |
| Religious | Couples can include religious references or keep them out |
| Examples | Do you, [name], take this [man/woman/person] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife/spouse]? |
| Do you promise to love, comfort, honour, and keep them in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live? | |
| Response | "I do" or "I will" |
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Declaration of intent
A declaration of intent is a couple's statement affirming their desire to get married. It is a standard part of most wedding ceremonies and is legally required in some states. The declaration of intent is usually posed as a question by the officiant, to which the couple responds with "I do" or "I will". This is the verbal equivalent of signing a marriage license.
The declaration of intent might sound something like this:
> " [Name], do you take [name] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife]/spouse/partner? Do you promise to [love and cherish/support] him/her/them, in sickness and in health, [for richer for poorer/in poverty and in wealth], for better for worse, [as long as you both shall live/until death do us part]?"
The exact script varies depending on whether the ceremony is religious or non-religious, and the couple may choose to customise the wording to match their values. For example, some couples prefer terms like "husband" or "wife", while others may prefer "spouse" or "partner".
The declaration of intent is distinct from wedding vows, which are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during the wedding ceremony. While the declaration of intent is a legally required statement of intent to marry, wedding vows are not legally required in most jurisdictions.
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Vows
The wedding vow exchange is one of the most important moments in a wedding ceremony. It is when you and your partner make promises to each other, expressing your intent to marry and commit to each other.
Traditional Vows
Traditional wedding vows are often religious and may vary depending on the religion and region. Here is an example of traditional vows:
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."
Contemporary Vows
Contemporary vows are more casual and may be preferred by couples who want a non-religious ceremony. Here is an example:
"[Name], do you take [name] as your [husband/wife/spouse/partner] and your companion? Do you promise to share their laughter during the good times and wipe their tears during the bad, from this day forward?"
Personalised Vows
Personalised vows are unique to each couple and can be completely customised to express their words and values. Here are some examples of additions or changes that can be made to traditional vows:
- "To live together in matrimony, to love, comfort, honour and keep each other."
- "In sorrow and in joy, as long as you both shall live."
- "To support each other completely and love each other unconditionally."
Declaration of Intent
The Declaration of Intent is different from the vow exchange, although both express the intent to marry. The declaration of intent is legally required and usually includes the phrase "I do" or "I will". It may vary depending on the couple's preferences and beliefs:
"Do you take this person to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife/spouse/partner], to have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?"
Things to Consider
When writing your vows, it is important to thoughtfully consider the legal and financial aspects of joining into one union. Discuss with your partner what it means to be each other's lawfully wedded spouses and how it will change your lives. Remember that the vows you make are promises that should not be entered into lightly.
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Religious convictions
The "declaration of intent" or the "I do" section is a legally required part of a wedding ceremony. It is a couple's statement affirming their desire to get married. During this part of the ceremony, an officiant asks each person if they will take their partner as their spouse. In response, both individuals confirm with the phrase "I do" or "I will". This is the verbal equivalent of signing a marriage license.
The declaration of intent is different from the vows exchanged during the wedding ceremony. While the vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other, the declaration of intent is a statement of commitment to the marriage.
The exact script of the declaration of intent varies based on whether the wedding ceremony is religious or not. Religious wedding vows are promises made before God, family, friends, and society. They are based on Western Christian norms, although they are not universal to marriage and are not necessary in most legal jurisdictions. For example, Eastern Christians do not have marriage vows in their traditional wedding ceremonies.
Catholic Wedding Vows
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
Protestant Christian Wedding Vows
"In the name of God, I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death."
Quaker Wedding Vows
"Friends, in the fear of the Lord, and before this assembly, I take my friend [name] to be my [husband/wife], promising, through divine assistance, to be unto [him/her] a loving and faithful [husband/wife], until it shall please the Lord by death to separate us."
Pagan Wedding Vows
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. By the strength of Thor's hammer, I vow to protect and cherish you."
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Customised vows
Personalisation
Promises and Commitments
At their core, vows are about the promises you make to your partner. Think about the specific commitments that are important to you and your relationship. For example, do you want to emphasise your promise to support your partner through life's challenges, or is it essential to vow to nurture their dreams and aspirations? Customised vows give you the freedom to tailor these promises to your heart's desire.
Religious or Spiritual Elements
If your wedding has a religious or spiritual dimension, you can incorporate this into your vows. You might begin with "Under the eyes of God/Allah/the Universe," or include a phrase like "as God/Allah/the Universe is my witness." Alternatively, you can omit any religious references if they don't align with your beliefs.
Traditional Elements
While creating customised vows, you can still draw on traditional elements that resonate with you. For example, you might include phrases such as "to have and to hold," "in sickness and in health," or "for richer, for poorer." Blending traditional phrases with your personalised sentiments can create a beautiful balance between time-honoured customs and your unique expression of love.
Practical Considerations
Remember that the legal requirements for a wedding ceremony may vary depending on your location and the type of ceremony you're having. Be sure to check if there are any specific words or declarations that are necessary to fulfil the legal requirements. You can always incorporate these into your customised vows or include them as a separate declaration of intent.
Sample Customised Vows
" [Partner's name], from the moment I met you, I knew that my life would never be the same. Today, I take you as my lawfully wedded [wife/husband/spouse], promising to love and cherish you through all of life's adventures. I vow to be your confidant, your comfort, and your biggest cheerleader. I will support you through challenges and celebrate your successes. In sickness and in health, through laughter and tears, I will be by your side, loving and honouring you always. This is my solemn vow."
Remember, these are just suggestions and starting points. The beauty of customised vows is that they can be tailored to perfectly capture the essence of your relationship and the promises you want to make to your beloved.
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Legal requirements
The legal requirements for marriage vary depending on the country and region. In most English-speaking countries, the wedding vows derive from the Sarum rite of medieval England. In the United Kingdom, the state recognises marriages conducted by the Society of Friends (Quakers), Jews, and the Church of England.
In the United States, wedding vows are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other during a wedding ceremony, based on Western Christian norms. They are not universal to marriage and are not necessary in most legal jurisdictions. For example, Eastern Christians do not have marriage vows in their traditional wedding ceremonies.
In some states, a declaration of intent is legally required to be said at the nuptials. This is a couple's statement affirming their desire to get married. An officiant will ask each person if they will take their partner as their spouse, to which they must respond with "I do" or "I will". This is the verbal equivalent of signing a marriage license.
In civil ceremonies, there are specific legal words that need to be said, but couples may also add their own vows. In religious ceremonies, there are also specific words that must be said, but they can be personalised to a certain extent. For example, couples can choose to use terms like "husband", "wife", "spouse", or "partner".
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Frequently asked questions
This is known as the declaration of intent, a couple's statement affirming their desire to get married. It is usually followed by an "I do" or "I will" from each person.
Yes, the declaration of intent is legally required for a wedding to be valid. However, vows are not required in most legal jurisdictions.
While both express the intent to marry and commit to a partner, vows are promises made to each other, which can be personalised.
Yes, couples can modify the traditional wording to match their values and beliefs. For example, some couples prefer terms like "spouse" or "partner" instead of "husband" or "wife".
The officiant or minister will usually recite the declaration of intent, followed by the couple's response.
