
The phrase do you take her as your lawfully wedded wife is a traditional element of wedding vows. The exact wording varies depending on the couple's preferences, religious beliefs, and cultural heritage. The vow is a declaration of commitment, signifying the acceptance of the other person as a part of oneself forever, including their talents, flaws, dreams, and failures. It is a weighty commitment that should not be entered into lightly, and it is often witnessed by family, friends, and God.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Commitment | To love, cherish, respect, honour, obey, protect, support, comfort, and care for each other |
| To be faithful, truthful, and patient | |
| To accept each other completely, including flaws and failures | |
| To reject all others | |
| Duration | Until death |
| Legal status | Recognised by the state and the Church |
| Presence | Witnessed by family, friends, and God |
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What You'll Learn

'To have and to hold'
The phrase "to have and to hold" is a common element of traditional wedding vows in Western cultures, particularly those based on Christian norms. When a person says "to have and to hold" in their wedding vows, they are making a promise to their partner that they will accept them completely, embracing their talents, flaws, dreams, failures, and potential.
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy will; and I pledge to you my faithfulness."
"I, [name], take you, [name of bride/groom], to be my [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
It's worth noting that while "to have and to hold" is a common element of wedding vows, it is not the only option. Couples can choose to modify traditional vows or write their own to make the ceremony more personalised and meaningful to them. Additionally, in some cultures and religions, wedding vows are not traditional or are not spoken aloud.
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'For better, for worse'
The phrase "for better, for worse" is often used in wedding vows, along with "for richer, for poorer" and "in sickness and in health". These phrases are a promise that the couple will stick together no matter what life throws at them. It is a commitment to be there for each other through the good times and the bad, the easy times and the challenging times.
Saying "for better, for worse" in wedding vows is a way to acknowledge that marriage is not always going to be easy and that there will be difficult times as well as happy ones. It is a promise to support and care for each other through all of life's ups and downs. This phrase is a reminder that marriage is a lifelong journey that will have its highs and lows, but that the couple is in it together, no matter what.
The phrase "for better, for worse" can also be interpreted as a recognition that marriage is a partnership in which both individuals bring their unique strengths and weaknesses to the relationship. It is a promise to accept and love each other for who they are, with all their flaws and imperfections, just as much as with their strengths and virtues. It is about embracing the totality of the other person and committing to face life's challenges as a team.
In the context of the comic strip "For Better or For Worse", the phrase "for better, for worse" takes on additional layers of meaning. The strip's creator, Lynn Johnston, included this phrase in the final daily strip, where it is spoken by the character Iris, who is at her husband's bedside after he has suffered a heart attack. In this context, the phrase conveys the depth of Iris's devotion to her husband and her commitment to standing by his side through health issues and life's challenges. It reflects the enduring nature of their love and the strength of their bond, even in the face of adversity.
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'For richer, for poorer'
The traditional wedding vow, "For richer, for poorer," is a promise that the couple makes to each other to remain committed and supportive regardless of their financial situation. It signifies a pledge to stay together and work collectively through any financial challenges or blessings that may arise during their marriage.
This vow is a profound and meaningful element of the wedding ceremony, acknowledging that financial circumstances can fluctuate throughout life. By including this vow, the couple expresses their willingness to face these potential challenges and triumphs together as a united front. It signifies their dedication to supporting each other emotionally and practically, regardless of whether they experience abundance or scarcity.
The "For richer" aspect of the vow acknowledges that life may bring financial prosperity and success. It signifies the couple's commitment to sharing and celebrating their financial achievements together. This portion of the vow expresses their promise to work collaboratively to achieve their financial goals and aspirations, enjoying the fruits of their labor in unison.
On the other hand, "For poorer" recognizes that financial struggles or setbacks may occur. This part of the vow demonstrates the couple's understanding that financial hardship can strain a relationship and their promise to persevere through such challenges as a team. It signifies their dedication to providing emotional support and finding practical solutions to financial difficulties. Whether facing unemployment, unexpected expenses, or any other form of financial adversity, they pledge to remain steadfast in their partnership.
The "For richer, for poorer" vow is a powerful testament to the couple's commitment to weathering life's financial ups and downs as a united force. It symbolizes their understanding that true partnership transcends monetary circumstances, and their love and dedication remain unwavering despite the financial landscape. This vow serves as a reminder that marriage entails navigating both prosperous and challenging times, and the couple pledges to embark on this journey together, embracing the richness of their shared path.
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'In sickness and in health'
The phrase "in sickness and in health" is a powerful testament to the enduring nature of true love and commitment. It is a promise to stand by your partner through life's challenges and joys, in both the good and difficult times.
When you vow to be there "in sickness," you are committing to supporting your partner through any physical or mental health issues they may face. This could include chronic illnesses, injuries, or even temporary ailments. It means providing emotional support, advocating for their care, and perhaps even taking on additional responsibilities to ensure they receive the treatment and attention they need. It is a promise to be a source of strength and comfort during difficult diagnoses or treatments, offering a sense of security and love when it is needed most.
"In health," on the other hand, celebrates the positive aspects of life, such as shared goals, dreams, and experiences. It is a promise to nurture each other's well-being, to encourage and support personal growth, and to create a life together that is fulfilling and meaningful. This includes shared experiences and adventures, as well as the creation of lasting memories. It also involves encouraging individual pursuits and interests, fostering independence and personal development within the relationship.
By promising to be there "in sickness and in health," you are committing to a lifelong journey of mutual support and care. It is a recognition that life will present challenges and blessings, and a pledge to navigate them together as a team. This vow is a cornerstone of a strong and loving partnership, where both individuals are dedicated to creating a safe and nurturing environment for each other, regardless of life's circumstances.
Ultimately, these vows are a profound expression of love and dedication. They symbolize the depth of your commitment and the strength of your bond, providing a foundation for a lasting and loving marriage.
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'Till death do us part'
The phrase 'till death do us part' is a powerful and poignant sentiment, often included in traditional wedding vows. It is a solemn reminder of the seriousness and longevity of the commitment being made.
By including this phrase, the couple is acknowledging that their union is intended to last a lifetime. They are promising to stay together through all of life's challenges and joys, until death eventually separates them. This phrase is a reminder that marriage is a lifelong journey, and the couple is pledging to navigate it together, come what may.
In a practical sense, 'till death do us part' means that the couple intends to build a life together, often including shared finances, property, and children. It signifies a level of trust and interdependence that is unique to the marital relationship. It is a promise to love, honor, and care for each other until the end of their days.
This phrase is often included in wedding vows because it beautifully encapsulates the depth and endurance of true commitment. It is a reminder that marriage is not just a celebration of love but also a promise to persevere through life's trials and tribulations together.
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Frequently asked questions
To take someone as your lawfully wedded wife means to accept her completely, including her talents, flaws, dreams, failures, and potential. It is a commitment to embrace her as a part of yourself forever, and to reject all others.
Traditional wedding vows vary across different cultures and religions. Here are a few examples:
- "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
- "I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, until death do us part."
- "I, [name], take you, [name], as my wedded wife/husband, and I promise you love, honor, and respect; to be faithful to you and not to forsake you until death do us part."
Absolutely! While traditional wedding vows are commonly used, it is not necessary to use them verbatim. Many couples choose to modify the traditional vows or write their own to make the ceremony more personalized and special.



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