Deborah Chan
The phrase do you take me as your lawfully wedded husband/wife is part of the traditional wedding vows practised in most English-speaking countries. The full vow goes: I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy will; and I pledge to you my faithfulness. The wedding vow is a serious commitment, and it is important for couples to understand the weight of the covenant they are about to commit to before God, family, friends, and society.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Commitment | To love and cherish |
| To have and to hold | |
| For better or for worse | |
| For richer, for poorer | |
| In sickness and in health | |
| Until death do us part | |
| To provide and protect | |
| To procreate |
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What You'll Learn
Love and devotion
Marriage is a significant milestone in a person's life, and the vows exchanged during a wedding ceremony are a crucial element of the occasion. The phrase "I take you as my lawfully wedded husband/wife" is a traditional part of wedding vows, and it carries a profound meaning of love and devotion.
When a couple stands before God, their family, and friends, they are making a lifelong commitment to love, honour, and cherish each other. The words "I take you as my lawfully wedded husband/wife" signify a conscious decision to embrace the role of a spouse, with all the responsibilities and joys that come with it. It is a promise to stand by each other through life's challenges and triumphs, in sickness and health, and for richer or poorer.
The apostle Paul compared the relationship between husband and wife to that between Christ and the church, as described in I Corinthians 13:4-8. This highlights the importance of love and devotion in a marriage, with love being described as patient and kind. Indeed, the act of taking someone as one's lawfully wedded spouse goes beyond legal and social recognition; it is a spiritual and emotional union, where two people become one in the eyes of God.
The weight of this commitment should not be taken lightly. It requires thoughtful consideration and preparation, as it involves not just the couple but also their families and communities. It is a promise to love and cherish each other deeply, to support and care for each other, and to remain faithful until death parts them.
In conclusion, the phrase "I take you as my lawfully wedded husband/wife" is more than just words; it is an expression of enduring love and devotion, a pledge to build a life together, and a sacred vow to honour and cherish each other for a lifetime.
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Faithfulness and loyalty
The phrase "do you take me as your lawfully wedded husband/wife" is a traditional part of wedding vows, where the couple is committing to a lifelong union. This phrase is a declaration of faithfulness and loyalty, where the speaker is promising to be their partner's spouse, to have and to hold, from that day forward.
The weight of this commitment is significant, and it is a promise to be a loving and faithful partner through all life's challenges and joys. The phrase "till death do us part" is often included in wedding vows to emphasise the seriousness and longevity of the commitment.
In the context of faithfulness and loyalty, the phrase "do you take me as your lawfully wedded husband/wife" signifies a promise to remain devoted and dedicated to one's spouse exclusively. It is a pledge to forsake all others and keep oneself only unto their partner. This aspect of faithfulness is a cornerstone of many marriage vows, where the couple vows to remain loyal and true to each other for the duration of their lives together.
The act of taking one's partner as their "lawfully wedded husband/wife" also carries legal implications, as marriage is a legally binding contract recognised by the state and country in which it is performed. This adds a layer of seriousness to the commitment, as it involves not just a personal promise but also a public and legal declaration of faithfulness and loyalty.
Furthermore, in many religious traditions, the presence of God and other witnesses during the wedding ceremony underscores the sacredness and importance of the vows. The couple is not only making a promise to each other but also before God and their community, emphasising the depth of their commitment to love, honour, and cherish each other faithfully.
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Cherishing your partner
The traditional wedding vow, "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife", is a promise to love and cherish one's spouse. Cherishing your partner is an integral part of a strong and loving relationship. Here are some ways to cherish your partner:
Be Fully Present
Give your partner your undivided attention and focus. In today's multitasking culture, it can be challenging to find moments of singular focus, but it is worth creating space for your partner. Spend 15-20 minutes each day giving your partner your undivided attention. Turn off distractions and listen with your full body by physically turning towards them. This simple act communicates your desire to understand and connect with them.
Validate their Experience
Make your partner feel understood and valued by validating their experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Confirm what you think you have understood and let them know that their perspective makes sense to you. This fosters a sense of safety and deep emotional intimacy, creating a safe space for vulnerability and strengthening your bond.
Show Appreciation and Kindness
Choose kindness and appreciation in your interactions with your partner. Show them that you value and honour their presence in your life through your words and actions. Small gestures like taking over a task, preparing their favourite treat, or asking about their day can make your partner feel cherished. These acts of attention remind your spouse that their experiences matter to you.
Celebrate Them
Create Cherished Memories
Set aside special moments where you focus solely on each other. Whether it's a quiet dinner, a shared hobby, or simply talking about your day, these intentional moments create cherished memories and strengthen your bond. Make it a priority to create meaningful experiences together that will be treasured for a lifetime.
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'Having and holding' your partner
The phrase "to have and to hold" is a common element of traditional wedding vows in English-speaking countries. It is often followed by a declaration of commitment through various life circumstances, such as "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health".
When you say "to have and to hold your partner", you are making a profound promise to cherish and care for them through all life's challenges and joys. You are pledging to stand by their side, offering support and love through thick and thin. This phrase signifies your willingness to embrace your partner wholly and unconditionally, come what may.
The "to have and to hold" vow is often accompanied by a declaration of faithfulness and enduring love until death. For example, in traditional Christian wedding vows, the couple may say, "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."
This phrase is a powerful reminder that marriage is not just a legal union but a deep emotional and spiritual bond. It signifies a mutual decision to share life's burdens and blessings, to provide comfort and support, and to be faithful and loving towards one another.
When you "have and hold" your partner, you are promising to be their companion, protector, and supporter throughout life's journey, come what may. It is a testament to the strength and endurance of your love.
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'Better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health'
The phrase "better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" is a traditional part of wedding vows, exchanged between a couple during their wedding ceremony. The exact phrasing varies, but the sentiment remains the same: a promise to stay committed to one another through life's challenges and uncertainties.
This phrase is often used in Christian wedding ceremonies, where it holds significant meaning. For example, in the Catholic tradition, the phrase may be expressed as "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." This phrasing emphasizes the seriousness of the commitment, suggesting that the couple is entering into a lifelong union that will endure through both good and bad times.
In other traditions, such as Methodist or Viking wedding vows, the phrase may be slightly modified but still retains its core meaning. For instance, Viking wedding vows include the phrase "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part," followed by a pledge to protect and cherish one's spouse.
The phrase "better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" is often accompanied by other promises, such as "to love and to cherish" or "to be true to one another." These additional vows emphasize the depth of the commitment being made, encompassing both emotional and practical aspects of the marriage.
While traditional vows have been around for centuries, modern couples may also choose to write their own vows or modify existing ones to better reflect their beliefs and values. This allows for a more personalized expression of their love and commitment while still honoring the time-honored tradition of exchanging vows. Ultimately, the phrase "better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" serves as a powerful reminder of the enduring nature of marriage and the strength of the bond being forged between two people.
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Frequently asked questions
The phrase originates from traditional Christian wedding vows, where the couple pledges their commitment to each other before God and the church.
By saying "I take you as my lawfully wedded husband/wife", the speaker is making a lifelong promise to love, honour, and care for their spouse, through good and bad times, and in sickness and health.
Yes, it is increasingly common for couples to modify their wedding vows to make them more personalised and reflective of their beliefs and values.
It is important to understand the weight and commitment of the phrase. Reflect on what it means to be a spouse and consider your lives together in the long term.
Marriage is a legally binding contract. Some legal implications include shared financial responsibilities, decision-making in medical contexts, and potential impacts on tax filings.
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