Rhiannon Hendricks
When planning a wedding, it is important to get an accurate headcount for budgeting purposes. However, it is common for some invited guests to not RSVP, which can be frustrating for the couple. To address this, couples can send a polite reminder via email or text before the RSVP deadline. If guests still do not respond, it is reasonable to assume they are not attending, and the couple can choose to send a follow-up message expressing their understanding and that the guest will be missed. While it is not necessary to respond to RSVP declines, some couples may choose to do so as a courtesy. Ultimately, the couple should focus on their happiness and not let non-responses overshadow their big day.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Response to no RSVP | Send a polite reminder before the RSVP deadline |
| Call guests who haven't responded | |
| Assume non-response as a 'no' | |
| Send a polite message to those who don't respond | |
| Response to a 'no' RSVP | Not necessary to respond |
| "Thank you for letting me know. We'll miss you at the wedding, but look forward to connecting soon" | |
| "No worries, we appreciate the response; you both will be missed!" |
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What You'll Learn
It is not rude to not respond to an RSVP 'no'
It is not rude to refrain from responding to an RSVP 'no'. In fact, it is perfectly polite for hosts to call friends to ask if they plan to attend, as it is common for people not to respond to their RSVPs. This is not an issue specific to certain weddings – it is a seemingly universal problem. Some people will be embarrassed that they can't come and will have put off responding because they don't want to disappoint you. Others may have been busy, forgotten, or simply can't be bothered to reply.
If you are the host and you need to know final numbers, it is not rude to follow up with invitees with a quick text or phone call. You can say something like: "Hello Jean! You didn’t respond within the RSVP window so we assume you’re not able to attend our wedding. That’s okay! We hope you’re doing well. Take care!”. By wording it this way, you’re being respectful and polite while also getting your point across.
However, if you are the invitee, it is important to respond to an RSVP request as soon as possible. This is because the host will need to give a final headcount to their venue or caterer. If you are unable to attend, it is not rude to simply send your regrets without further comment.
If you are the host and you feel the need to respond to an RSVP 'no', you could say something like: "No worries, we appreciate the response; you both will be missed!". However, this is not necessary.
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You can respond with a simple 'thank you'
When wedding guests don't RSVP, it can be frustrating. However, it is not uncommon for guests to not respond to wedding invitations. As a host, you can follow up with guests who don't RSVP within the given timeframe. It is recommended to give guests at least two weeks to respond and be patient while waiting for their replies.
If you haven't heard back from some guests, you can send a gentle reminder before the RSVP deadline. This can be done via email or text, and it is a polite way to nudge late responders into action. It is also a good idea to include a brief and generic message, such as expressing your excitement about the wedding and kindly reminding them of the RSVP deadline.
If you still haven't received a response after sending a reminder, you can try calling your guests. This method is more time-consuming, but it can be more effective in getting a clear answer. When calling, be friendly and polite, and avoid sounding accusatory. It is important to respect your guests' time and decisions, and a simple "thank you" can be a proper response to a declined RSVP.
You can respond with a simple "thank you" to express your gratitude for their timely response and understanding of their absence. It is not necessary to go into detail, and a short and sweet acknowledgment can be appreciated. This way, you can maintain a positive relationship with your guests, even if they cannot attend your wedding.
- "Thank you for letting me know. We'll miss you at the wedding, but look forward to connecting soon."
- "Thank you for your reply! We will miss you at our wedding, but we totally understand."
- "No worries, we appreciate the response; you both will be missed!"
- "Thank you for your timely response."
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You can acknowledge their absence and express that they will be missed
When a guest RSVPs no to your wedding, it can be disappointing, and you may want to acknowledge their absence and express that they will be missed. While it is not necessary to respond to an RSVP card in the mail, there are other ways to express this sentiment.
If the guest sends a gift, you can send a thank-you card that expresses your disappointment that they couldn't be there. For example, you could say, "We are sorry we didn't get to see you at the wedding, but we hope to celebrate with you soon!" If they let you know why they couldn't attend, you can add a personalised message, such as, "Hope Child's move into their college dorm went great!"
If you feel the need to respond to their RSVP, you could say something like, "No worries, we appreciate the response; you both will be missed!" or "Thanks for letting me know, you'll be missed!" This lets the guest know that you acknowledge their absence and that you're disappointed they can't be there.
If the guest is someone very special to you, you may want to honour them during the wedding ceremony. This could be done through a verbal acknowledgement by the celebrant, or by mentioning them during the speeches at dinner. You could also leave a position open in the bridal party, or set up a poster board with photos of friends and family who couldn't attend, along with captions explaining their absence.
Ultimately, the way you choose to acknowledge someone's absence from your wedding is a personal decision, and there are many ways to do so in a meaningful way.
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You can send a reminder before the RSVP deadline
It is common for wedding guests to not respond to RSVP invites. This could be due to forgetfulness, procrastination, or feeling embarrassed about not being able to attend. It is therefore a good idea to send a polite reminder to your guests before the RSVP deadline.
You can send the first reminder about a week before the RSVP deadline. This gives your guests enough time to respond without being too early. It also allows you to plan the rest of your wedding, as you will have a better idea of the final guest count. If you leave too much time between sending the invitations and the RSVP date, your guests may put off responding and forget.
The reminder can be sent via email or text, or even through a post on your social media or wedding website. This way, you can send out your reminders in bulk. Your message should be brief and generic, mentioning the deadline and that you are looking forward to the wedding. For example, you could say:
> "Hi, [guest name]! Not long now until the wedding – [partner] and I are so excited! This is just a quick reminder that I need your RSVP by [date]. Don’t worry if you can’t attend—I just need to know who is and isn’t coming, so that I can confirm the final head count with the caterer."
If you are close to the guest, you can also remind them in person. This is a good option for close family members and friends who you see regularly and may be more comfortable with a face-to-face reminder.
If you still haven't heard back from some guests after the RSVP deadline, you can try calling them. This shows that you are serious about getting their response. If they don't answer, leave a voicemail politely letting them know that if you don't hear back within a certain timeframe, you will assume they can't attend.
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If there's no response, it's okay to call
It is completely understandable to feel frustrated when wedding guests don't RSVP. It is important to remember that this is a common issue faced by many couples, so you are not alone! There could be several reasons for guests not responding, such as being too busy, forgetting, or feeling embarrassed about not being able to attend.
If you haven't received responses from your guests, it is perfectly acceptable to follow up with a phone call. Before reaching out, allow a few days for guests to respond to your initial invitation. It is advisable to send a polite reminder via email or text about a week before the RSVP deadline, as this will increase the likelihood of a response. A sample text could be:
> "Hi, [guest name]! Not long now until the wedding – [partner] and I are so excited! This is just a quick reminder that I need your RSVP by [date]. Don’t worry if you can’t attend—I just need to know who is and isn’t coming, so that I can confirm the final head count with the caterer."
If you still haven't heard back after sending a reminder, it is appropriate to pick up the phone and call your guests. Calling demonstrates that you are serious about receiving a response and can increase the urgency for your guests to reply. When calling, it is best to call twice and leave a voicemail if they don't answer. In your voicemail, politely inform them that if you don't hear back within a certain timeframe, you will assume they are unable to attend.
While it can be frustrating to chase after guests for their RSVPs, remember that a wedding is a significant event, and obtaining timely responses will help you finalise your plans. It is perfectly reasonable to want a definitive headcount for budgeting and planning purposes, so don't hesitate to follow up with guests who haven't responded.
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Frequently asked questions
If you don't hear back from your wedding guests, you can send a polite reminder via email or text. If you don't hear back from them after that, it is advisable to call them.
Yes, it is rude to not respond to an RSVP. Anyone who receives an invitation has an obligation to reply as soon as possible.
You can respond with a simple "Thank you for letting me know. We'll miss you at the wedding, but we totally understand."
You can try calling them to get a clear answer. If they are unsure, politely let them know that if you don't hear back within a certain timeframe, you will assume they can't attend.
You can send out reminders via email or text. You can also call your guests, but this option is more time-consuming.
