Junior Rasmussen
Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and one of the most important steps is confirming the guest list. This is where RSVPs come in. RSVPs are a crucial part of the wedding planning process, allowing couples to finalise their seating charts, book transportation, plan meals, and reserve the correct number of tables and chairs. With so many different ways to send and respond to wedding invitations and RSVPs, it can be confusing for both the couple and the guests. This article will provide a comprehensive guide to navigating the world of wedding RSVPs, from sending out invitations with clear deadlines to responding as a guest in a timely and polite manner.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Response Time | Respond as soon as possible, but at least by the deadline listed on the invite. The deadline should be two to four weeks before the wedding. |
| Response Format | RSVPs can be printed cards, online, or emails. |
| Response Details | Include names, whether a plus one is coming, and any dietary requirements. |
| Declining | Respond with a definitive "No", an explanation, and a gift if appropriate. |
| Cancelling | Only cancel for serious reasons. Inform the wedding planner or the best man/maid of honor, not the couple. |
| Non-response | Non-response can lead to not having a seat or meal at the wedding. |
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What You'll Learn
How to send RSVPs
When sending RSVPs, it's important to respond as quickly as possible, or at least by the deadline stated on the invite. This is usually around two to four weeks before the wedding, giving the couple enough time to finalise arrangements. It's also good manners to respond promptly, as late RSVPs can cause unnecessary stress for the couple.
If you are unable to attend after sending your RSVP, it is important to inform the couple as soon as possible, with a valid reason for your cancellation. While it is acceptable to cancel on the day of the wedding by contacting the planner or a member of the wedding party, it is considered rude to bother the couple with this information on their wedding day.
RSVPs can be sent in a variety of ways, including printed cards, online websites, or emails. If you have received a printed invitation, check the invite for details on how to RSVP, as the couple may prefer to receive RSVPs online or via email. If you are sending an RSVP card, be sure to fill out all fields and include any additional information requested, such as dietary requirements or a plus one.
When sending an RSVP online, simply follow the instructions provided on the invitation, which may include typing a URL into your browser. The same rules of etiquette apply as with printed RSVPs, so be sure to respond by the deadline.
It is becoming increasingly popular for couples to offer multiple RSVP options, such as digital submission via a wedding website or email, in addition to printed cards. This ensures guests can choose the method they are most comfortable with and makes it easier for the couple to track responses.
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When to send RSVPs
When sending out wedding invitations, it is important to consider how much time to give your guests to RSVP. While you want to avoid giving your guests too little or too much time, it is ideal to give them a window of about one month to respond. This is because if you give guests too much time, they may procrastinate, and if you don't leave enough time, they may make other plans.
The "RSVP by" date should ideally fall three to four weeks before the wedding, with invitations sent out six to eight weeks prior. This gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and figure out who hasn't responded yet. It also gives you time to make a seating chart, book transportation, plan meals, and reserve the correct number of tables and chairs.
If you are having a destination wedding, it is recommended to send the invites a little earlier, around 10 to 12 weeks before the wedding, to give guests more time to make travel arrangements. The RSVP deadline for a destination wedding should be set even earlier, around six weeks to two months before the wedding, to give you plenty of time to plan pre- and post-wedding events.
To ensure that your guests respond promptly, make the process as simple as possible. Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your invitations, and consider including a fun call to action on the response card, such as "RSVP with a song that will keep you on the dance floor." You can also include a digital option for submitting RSVPs through your wedding website.
If your RSVP deadline has passed and you still haven't heard from some guests, it is appropriate to send a quick reminder. You can wait about a week after the deadline to send a friendly note asking if they plan to attend, as it will help you finalize the details. You can also send a reminder to your wedding website if you are collecting RSVPs online.
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What to do if you can no longer attend
It is important to understand that time, energy, money, and a ton of stress will have gone into organising a wedding. Your absence will have an impact, especially if you committed to attending. Venues and caterers require final numbers 2-4 weeks before the event date. If you inform the couple before this deadline, they may be able to recover any money they've paid or committed to pay for your attendance. If you cancel after their deadline, they will lose this money. Therefore, if you can no longer attend a wedding after RSVPing, there are a few steps you should take:
- Have a good reason for your cancellation: Only back out if the circumstances are serious, such as a severe illness or a family emergency.
- Inform the couple as soon as possible: Do not wait until the wedding day to cancel. Contact the couple as soon as you know you cannot attend. This will allow them to adjust their headcount and make other arrangements.
- Provide an explanation: Explain the reason for your cancellation, especially if it is due to an emergency or unforeseen circumstances. This will help the couple understand your situation.
- Offer to cover any costs: If you cancel after the final headcount has been submitted, consider offering to reimburse the couple for the cost of your meal or any other expenses they may incur due to your absence.
- Do not bother the couple on their wedding day: If you need to cancel on the day of the wedding, inform the wedding planner, maid of honour, or best man instead. The couple should be focused on their wedding, and distractions can cause unnecessary stress.
- Be considerate and understanding: Remember that your cancellation may cause inconvenience and additional stress for the couple. Be empathetic towards their situation and understand if they are disappointed or upset.
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What to do if you receive no response
If you've sent out your wedding invites and you're waiting on RSVPs, there are a few things you can do to ensure you receive responses. Firstly, it's important to give your guests enough time to respond, but not too much time. Wedding invitations should ideally be sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, giving guests around a month to respond. You can also include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope to make it as easy as possible for your guests to respond.
If the deadline is approaching and you're still waiting on responses, you can send out a group reminder via text, email, or social media. Keep it light and friendly, and be sure to include the deadline. If you're still waiting on responses after this, it's okay to reach out to guests individually with a kind message that includes a deadline.
If you're still waiting on responses after trying these methods, there could be a few reasons for this. Guests may have forgotten to respond, they might not be sure of their availability, or they might not be sure about how to respond. If you don't hear from your guests at all, it's possible they may not show up to the wedding. Unfortunately, this does happen, and it can be frustrating as it may mean losing money on their meals.
If you experience no-shows, it's a good idea to give your guests a grace period after the wedding before reaching out to them. They may have had a good reason for their absence, such as a family emergency or sudden illness. After a week or two, you can send a message to check in and ask if everything is okay.
It's also a good idea to be prepared for no-shows by having a wedding planner or coordinator who can help adjust the setup and catering in the event of last-minute absences.
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How to include a plus one
When sending out wedding invitations, it is customary to include "and guest" on invitations for those who are allowed to bring a plus-one. This is usually reserved for spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest. However, it can also include a family member escorting an older guest who may need assistance or a close friend attending with a single person.
If you are inviting families, it is common to address the invite to the entire family, and one person can respond on behalf of the group. On the RSVP card, you should indicate how many people from the family will be attending. For example, you can write "__ / __ attending" and fill in the second blank with the number of people invited, including any plus-ones.
If you are unsure of the relationship status of your guests, it is best to use the term "invited guest" instead of a specific name. This will allow the guest to fill in the name of their plus-one when they RSVP. It is important to keep track of RSVPs and follow up if a plus-one is indicated but no name is provided.
When deciding on your guest list, consider your budget and venue constraints. If you have an unlimited budget and ample space, you may offer every unattached guest a plus-one. However, for most couples, budget and space are limited, so giving every guest a plus-one may not be feasible. In this case, you may want to set clear criteria for who can bring a plus-one, such as only allowing single attendants to bring an additional person.
Remember, it is essential to communicate your decisions clearly and kindly to your guests. If a guest asks to bring a plus-one but you are unable to accommodate their request, you can politely explain your constraints and express your hope for their understanding and attendance.
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Frequently asked questions
If you've received a wedding invitation, respond as soon as possible, but at least by the deadline listed on the invite. The deadline is usually two to four weeks before the wedding. You can RSVP via printed cards, online websites, or emails. Be sure to fill out all fields and include any additional information, such as dietary requirements.
If there's no response card included, look closely at the invitation for details on how to RSVP. The wedding hosts may have opted to take RSVPs online or may have included a phone number or email address.
Life happens, and there may be instances where you can no longer attend after responding "yes". If you need to cancel, ensure you have a good reason, such as an illness or family emergency. Avoid bothering the couple on their wedding day; instead, contact the planner, maid of honour, or best man.
When sending out invitations, include a clear deadline for RSVPs, emphasizing the importance of a timely response. Provide multiple RSVP options, such as mail-in cards and digital submissions through a wedding website. Make the process simple by including pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelopes.
For destination weddings, the RSVP deadline is typically earlier, usually about two months before the wedding. This provides a buffer for travel arrangements and allows for planning pre- and post-wedding events.
