Deborah Chan
When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different ways to address them, depending on the couple's preferences and the level of formality desired. Traditionally, the bride's full name, including her middle name, is followed by the groom's full name. However, modern invitations often feature only the couple's first names or a mix of first and last names. Including last names is generally recommended to avoid confusion and for gift-giving purposes. If the wedding is very formal, middle names are typically included; otherwise, their use is based on personal preference. Same-sex couples may choose to list names alphabetically or based on which combination sounds better.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Full name(s) | Include full name(s) of recipient(s) or both recipients' full name(s) |
| Personal titles | Include personal titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Mx., Dr., etc.) |
| Inner envelope | More informal, can leave out elements of formal name format |
| Outer envelope | Formal, include recipient's full name and title |
| Single person | Include person's preferred title |
| Plus-one | Mention both people by name, use "and Guest" if unsure of name |
| Married couple | Put names on the same line |
| Unmarried couple | Include both names on one line |
| Children | For girls under 18, use "Miss"; boys don't need a title until they're 16 |
| Deceased parent | Rearrange names, e.g., "Ariana Smith, daughter of Mr. Austin Smith and the late Kristen Smith" |
| Same-sex couple | Place names in alphabetical order or choose the order based on sound |
| Middle name | Include middle name for a formal invitation |
| Date and time | Write out in full or use numerals/shorthand for a casual invitation |
| Dress code | Include in the lower right corner of the invitation |
What You'll Learn
Outer and inner envelope name formats
When addressing wedding invitations, it is important to consider the format of both the outer and inner envelopes. The outer envelope is typically more formal, with the recipient's full name and title included. This can be adapted to suit different relationship statuses and gender identities. Here are some examples:
Married Couple (Same Last Name)
Outer envelope (formal): Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren
Inner envelope (formal): Mr. and Mrs. Warren
Inner envelope (contemporary): Thomas and Michelle
Married Couple (Different Last Names)
Outer envelope: Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez
Inner envelope (formal): Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez
Inner envelope (contemporary): Maria and David
Unmarried Couple
Outer envelope: Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee
Inner envelope (formal): Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee
Inner envelope (contemporary): Stanley and Amanda
Single Woman
Outer envelope: Ms. Stephanie Chen (if over 18) or Miss Stephanie Chen (if under 18)
Inner envelope (formal): Ms. Chen or Miss Chen
Inner envelope (contemporary): Stephanie
Single Man
Outer envelope: Mr. James Montgomery (if over 18). No title is necessary if he is younger.
Inner envelope (formal): Mr. Montgomery
Inner envelope (contemporary): James
The inner envelope is more informal, giving the option to use only first names or leave out certain elements of the formal name format. Here are some additional tips for addressing inner envelopes:
- For a single person with a plus-one: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
- For a married couple with the same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"
- For a married couple with different last names: "Ms. Elgin and Ms. Purcell" or "Celine and Jacqueline"
- For an unmarried couple: "Mr. Triguiero and Mr. Reyes"
Remember, the above examples are guidelines, and you can adapt them to fit your personal style and the level of formality of your event.
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Married couples with the same last name
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles for the couple, such as "Mr." and "Mrs." for a heterosexual couple or "Mr." and "Mr." for a same-sex male couple. The outer envelope should include the husband's full name, followed by the wife's first name and their shared last name, for example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If the couple is sensitive to the wife's name being left out, her first and last name can be included as well: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
For the inner envelope, you have a few options. You can address the couple as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by their last name, or you can use their first names, for example, "Thomas and Michelle". If the couple has a preference for how they are addressed, it is important to respect that and adjust the invitation accordingly.
It is also worth noting that modern alternatives to the traditional titles exist. For instance, "Mx." is a gender-neutral title that can be used for non-binary guests. Additionally, if the use of titles feels restrictive, you can opt for a more modern approach by using only the first and last names of the couple. Ultimately, the choice of how to address the invitations is yours, and you can adapt the format to fit the desired tone and style of your wedding.
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Married couples with different last names
When addressing wedding invitations to married couples with different last names, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to use the correct titles and names for each person. The outer envelope should be formal and include the full name(s) of the recipient(s). For a married couple with different last names, the outer envelope can include both their names on the same line, with the woman's name first, followed by the man's name. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately. Here is an example:
"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
Alternatively, you can address them in the same way you would a couple living together but not married, with their names listed alphabetically. This format is also suitable for couples with the same gender. Here is an example:
"Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan"
For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility. You can use last names only or first names only, or a combination of both. Here are some examples:
"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"
"Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan" or "Adams and Sullivan"
It is also important to consider the preferences of the couple when addressing the invitation. Some couples may have specific requests or preferences regarding their names and titles. Be sure to double-check with them before finalising the invitations.
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Single males and plus ones
When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, there are a few guidelines to follow, especially when it comes to single males and their plus ones. Here are some detailed instructions to ensure that your invitations are both proper and inclusive:
Outer Envelope Etiquette
The outer envelope is the more formal of the two envelopes and should include the recipient's full name and title. For single males, this would be something like "Mr. John Smith". If you are inviting a guest who is unmarried and whose partner you do not know well, it is customary to extend a plus-one invitation. In this case, you would write "Mr. John Smith and Guest" on the outer envelope.
Inner Envelope Etiquette
The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to be more flexible with the names and titles. For single males with a plus one, you can write "John Smith and Guest" on the inner envelope. This is also where you would list the names of children if they are invited.
Invitation Wording for Single Males with a Plus One
When addressing the invitation to a single male with a plus one, it is best not to make assumptions about who they will bring. You have two options for formatting:
- Address the invitation to the primary guest's name and "invited guest".
- Address the invitation to the primary guest only and include a plus-one note inside with the RSVP card.
Other Considerations
It is important to note that including a plus one can significantly impact the cost of a wedding, as most areas of the budget are affected by the number of guests. Be mindful of your budget and venue capacity when deciding on plus ones. Additionally, be prepared to respond to requests from guests who do not receive a plus one but may ask for one. Have a kind and firm explanation, such as "We'd love to include everyone, but our budget only allowed us to invite close friends and family."
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Same-sex couples
When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette for same-sex couples, there are no strict rules, and you can choose to follow traditional formats or opt for something more innovative. Here are some instructive and detailed guidelines for addressing wedding invitations to same-sex couples:
Names and Titles
It is essential to include the names of the people being invited, the hosts, and the couple getting married. For same-sex couples, you have a few options. You can use alphabetical order or choose the order based on which combination of names sounds the best. For instance, for a married couple with the same last name, you can write "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or use the plural form, "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith". Similarly, for a married couple with the same last name, you could write "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams" or "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams".
If the couple has different last names, you can write their names on separate lines, with the person you are closest to or alphabetically first. For example, "Mr. Aaron Triguiero" and "Mr. Gabriel Reyes". Alternatively, you can write their names on the same line, such as "Ms. Celine Elgin and Ms. Jacqueline Purcell".
Other Details
In addition to names and titles, there are several other key details to include in the wedding invitations:
- Location, date, and time: Provide the venue's street address and, if there is room, include parking information and other relevant details about the location.
- Reception information: If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, indicate this after providing the venue address. If they are at different locations, clearly state the name, address, parking options, and reception time for the reception venue.
- Dress code: Traditionally, the dress code is included in the invitation's lower right corner. Provide one to two examples of what guests should wear, along with colour options if desired.
- Hosts and family involvement: If the wedding is hosted by the couple and both sets of parents, you can begin the invitation with a statement like, "Together with their families, [Couple's names] invite you to celebrate their love and union."
- RSVP information: Include the address where guests should send their RSVPs, usually in the bottom left corner of the invitation.
Inner and Outer Envelopes
The inner and outer envelopes of wedding invitations typically follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope is more formal, and it is recommended to write out the recipient's full name(s) and personal title(s). This format is foolproof and works for couples of all genders, whether they share a surname or not. The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to use last names and titles or just first names.
In conclusion, when addressing wedding invitations to same-sex couples, flexibility is key. You can choose to follow traditional formats or create your own unique style. The most important thing is to convey the essential information clearly and concisely, ensuring your guests feel welcome and well-informed about your special day.
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Frequently asked questions
It is generally considered proper etiquette to include last names on wedding invitations, especially if the parents of the couple are included in the invitation wording. However, if the guest list is small and everyone knows who is getting married, and the event is modern and less formal, invitations can omit last names.
The traditional way to address a heterosexual married couple on a wedding invitation is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name, followed by the wife's name lumped in with her husband's name. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
Invitations to an unmarried couple living at the same address are addressed to both people on one line. List the person you are closest with first. For example: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".
