
When it comes to wedding planning, one of the most important steps is finalising the guest list and sending out invitations. However, the work doesn't end there, as couples then have to wait for their guests to RSVP. The French term RSVP stands for répondez s'il vous plait, which means respond if you please or please respond. While it is crucial to set an RSVP deadline, it is equally important for guests to acknowledge their attendance or absence within a reasonable timeframe to avoid inconveniencing the couple.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Importance of RSVP | It is important to get the timing right so you can make sure all of your last-minute wedding details are in order. |
| RSVP deadline | The deadline should be at least four weeks before the wedding, and absolutely no later than two weeks before the wedding day. |
| Setting the right RSVP date | It is important to set an RSVP date that gives you plenty of time to work out all the final arrangements. |
| Importance of a clear deadline | It is important to set a deadline for when guests need to reply so that you can finalise the seating chart, book transportation, plan meals, and reserve tables and chairs. |
| Following up with guests | It is recommended not to follow up with guests before your RSVP deadline. However, if the deadline has passed, wait about a week before sending follow-ups to guests who haven't responded. |
| Making the process simple | Make the process simple by including a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope within your invitation suite. |
| Destination weddings | For destination weddings, send the invites 10-12 weeks before the wedding and set an early RSVP deadline to allow for travel arrangements. |
| Communication with guests | It is important to communicate with your guests about their attendance, especially if they are immediate family or part of the wedding party. |
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What You'll Learn

Why some people don't RSVP
It is important to acknowledge an RSVP for a wedding, as it helps the couple with their wedding planning. The couple needs to share a final guest count with their wedding caterer, venue, and other vendors. It also helps them to finalize the number of table settings, entrees, wedding favors, escort cards, and any other items that are being given to guests.
Despite this, it is common for some people not to RSVP to a wedding. Here are some possible reasons why:
- Busy schedules and procrastination: People may have busy schedules and tend to procrastinate, leading to a delay in their response. They may also have other priorities and not consider the wedding a top priority, especially if it is months away.
- Logistical challenges: Some guests may need to consider various factors, such as work commitments, childcare arrangements, or travel plans, before they can confirm their attendance.
- Uncertainty about the event: Guests may be unsure about their interest in attending the wedding. They might wait for a better offer or a more appealing event to come along.
- Embarrassment or avoidance: In some cases, individuals may be overwhelmed or exhausted and feel embarrassed to decline directly. Instead, they might pretend they already have plans or ignore the invitation altogether.
- Communication preferences: The method of communication can also play a role. Online invitations, for example, are easier to ignore or forget about compared to formal paper invitations.
- Plus-one considerations: Guests who are in serious relationships or important invitees who won't know many people at the wedding may feel slighted if they aren't given the option to bring a plus-one. This could influence their decision to attend.
- Childcare policies: If the wedding has a no-kids policy, guests with children may decline the invitation due to the challenges of finding childcare.
- Destination weddings: While it's the couple's choice to have a destination wedding, it is understandable that some guests may not be able to attend due to travel constraints or financial considerations.
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How to encourage guests to RSVP on time
It is important to get the timing right when it comes to RSVPs. If you leave it too late, you may be scrambling to get responses back in time. Send your wedding invitations around 6-8 weeks before the wedding, with RSVPs due 3-4 weeks before the wedding. For destination weddings, you might want to push the deadline to around 6-8 weeks before the day, so you can finalise things like hotel reservations and transport.
- Send paperless invitations and capture online RSVPs. Digital invitations are easy to create and are environmentally friendly. They can also simplify the RSVP process and prompt quicker responses from your guests.
- Automate your process with an online RSVP tracker that follows up with guests on your behalf. This will reduce the chances of late responses.
- If you've sent physical invitations, set a reminder to gently follow up with guests who haven't responded. A friendly phone call or text will politely nudge them.
- Send guests a quick wedding RSVP reminder the week before they're due or add a note to your wedding website.
- If you're finalising seating arrangements and entree selections, let them know that their RSVP is required as soon as possible.
- If you're sending out save-the-date cards, you can also include an RSVP deadline.
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How long to wait for guests to RSVP
When it comes to waiting for guests to RSVP to a wedding, it's important to set a clear deadline and stick to it. The general consensus is that wedding RSVPs should be due around four weeks before the wedding, with two weeks before the wedding being the absolute latest. This gives the couple enough time to finalise the guest list, seating arrangements, and share the final guest count with caterers, venues, and other vendors.
It's worth noting that some guests may take a while to respond, and it is common for couples to have to chase up RSVPs. It is recommended to start following up with guests who haven't responded about a week after the RSVP deadline has passed. This gives the couple enough time to personally follow up and finalise their guest list before the wedding.
To get ahead of the game, couples can send guests a quick reminder the week before the RSVP deadline or add a note to their wedding website. This can help reduce the number of guests who need to be chased up after the deadline.
In terms of sending out invitations, it is generally recommended to send them out between six and ten weeks before the wedding. This gives guests enough time to make travel arrangements if necessary, while also not being too far in advance that they forget to RSVP.
Some couples choose to send out save the date cards even earlier, especially for destination weddings, to give guests a heads-up and allow them to mark their calendars. However, it is recognised that sending out invitations too early can lead to guests putting off responding and potentially forgetting.
Overall, it is important to set a clear RSVP deadline, communicate it to guests, and follow up with those who haven't responded by the deadline. This will help ensure that the couple has an accurate guest count and can finalise all the necessary wedding details.
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What to do when guests don't RSVP
It is common for guests to fail to RSVP. Some forget, while others procrastinate and then feel guilty, so they delay even longer. It is perfectly polite for hosts to call guests to ask if they plan to attend. If you want an accurate headcount, you will need to call those who haven't responded and ask whether they plan to come to your event. Be friendly, not accusatory.
It is important to get the timing right so you can make sure all of your last-minute wedding details are in order. Wedding RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding, and absolutely no later than two weeks before the wedding day. The sweet spot for your RSVP due date is around three to four weeks before the wedding—this gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and figure out who hasn't responded.
If you are waiting for RSVPs, you could send a quick wedding RSVP reminder the week before they are due or add a note to your wedding website. You could also send a group text or email a few days before your deadline. If you are still waiting for RSVPs after the deadline has passed, wait about a week before sending follow-ups to guests who haven't responded yet. You could also mail physical reminder cards. When you contact your guests, you can explain that you need a final count for the venue or caterer, and that you need their response in order to have them at the wedding.
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The importance of setting an RSVP deadline
Setting an RSVP deadline is crucial for a wedding. Firstly, it helps the couple with their to-do list in the final weeks of planning. It is also important to remember that the couple needs to share a final guest count with their vendors, including the wedding caterer, venue, and other suppliers. Without a final headcount, the couple won't be able to finalise many aspects of the wedding, such as the seating chart, transportation, meals, and the number of tables and chairs.
The RSVP deadline should ideally be set for a date falling between three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives the couple enough time to organise their final guest list and chase up any non-responders. It is also enough time for the caterers to order food and for the venue to prepare for the number of guests.
It is recommended that wedding invitations are mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding, giving guests a window of about one month to respond. This strikes a balance between not being too close to or too far from the wedding date. Sending invitations too early may result in guests forgetting to RSVP, while sending them too late may cause guests to make alternate plans.
It is also worth noting that some guests may need a reminder to RSVP. It is common for guests to take a long time to respond or even need to be chased for a response. Including a pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelope with each RSVP card can help make it easier for guests to respond.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding, and absolutely no later than two weeks before the wedding day. The sweet spot for your RSVP due date is around three to four weeks before the wedding—this gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and figure out who (if anyone) hasn't responded yet.
While mail-in cards are still the traditional choice, not everyone uses the mail as they once did. If possible, include an option for guests to digitally submit their RSVP via your wedding website. Make the process simple and be sure to include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope within your invitation suite so that your guests have no reason not to respond.
If your wedding RSVP deadline has passed, wait about one week before sending follow-ups to guests who haven't responded yet. Some people simply forget and accidentally miss the RSVP deadline, so a friendly phone call or text will politely nudge them.
While it's not okay to uninvite a guest, letting them know that you're finalizing seating arrangements and entree selections should give them the hint that their RSVP is down to the wire.











































