
Honouring deceased loved ones at a wedding can be a beautiful way to include them in the celebration and bring comfort to those they have left behind. While some couples choose not to memorialise their departed relatives, many opt to include a section in their wedding programme dedicated to those who are no longer with them. This can be done in various ways, from listing the names of the deceased with their relationship to the couple to including a heartfelt message or poem. Other ways to remember the departed on your wedding day include lighting a candle, reserving a seat for them, or including a recipe or other special item of theirs in the programme.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Format | Paragraph form or a list |
| List format | Names in the first column and their relationship to the couple in the second |
| Heading | "We Remember" or "In Memory Of" |
| Alternative to a heading | A sentence or two, such as "We remember those who are no longer with us" |
| Placement in the program | At the bottom or after the wedding party |
| Including in the procession | Only people in the procession should be listed in the program |
| Including in the opening prayer | Mentioning "those who could not be here" |
| Including in a note | "We know you'd be here today if heaven wasn't so far away" |
| Including in a dedication | "On this special day in our lives, we lovingly remember [name]" |
| Including in a thank you note | "Thank you to [names] for all their love and support and for shaping [names] into who they are today" |
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What You'll Learn

'In Loving Memory' section
Including an "In Loving Memory" section in your wedding program is a thoughtful way to honour deceased loved ones, including grandparents. This section can be a meaningful addition to your program, acknowledging those who have passed away and their significance in your life. Here are some ideas and suggestions for crafting this section:
Choose a Fitting Heading
Select a heading that reflects the tone and sentiment you wish to convey. Common headings include "In Loving Memory," "In Memory Of," or "We Remember." Alternatively, you can opt for a sentence or two as an introduction, such as "We remember those who are no longer with us" or "We know you'd be here today if heaven wasn't so far away." This sets the tone for the section and conveys a heartfelt message.
Format for Names
Decide on the format for listing the names of your deceased grandparents. You can choose between paragraph form or a list format. If you opt for a list, consider dividing it into two columns. The first column can include the names, while the second column can specify their relationship to you, such as "Grandmother of the Bride" or "Grandfather of the Groom." This format provides clarity and helps guests understand their connection to the wedding party.
Personalised Messages
Consider including personalised messages or dedications alongside the names. You can express how they have touched your life, the wisdom they imparted, or the love and joy they brought into your life. For example, "Though they are no longer with us, their love and guidance continue to shine through the memories we cherish." Such messages add a heartfelt touch and showcase the impact they had on your life.
Placement within the Program
Think about the placement of the "In Loving Memory" section within your wedding program. Some couples choose to include it towards the end of the program or after a "Thank You" section. This helps to separate the melancholy portion from the celebratory sections, ensuring a smooth flow to the program.
Inclusion of Other Deceased Relatives
In addition to grandparents, you may also want to include other deceased relatives or friends in this section. It is common to honour multiple loved ones who have passed away, creating a comprehensive tribute. However, it is essential to use your discretion and respect the wishes of those who, like your grandparents, may not want a memorial mention.
Incorporating an "In Loving Memory" section into your wedding program is a beautiful way to pay respects to your deceased grandparents and other loved ones. It serves as a reminder that they are still an integral part of your special day, celebrated and remembered with love and gratitude.
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Honouring deceased grandparents without adding an entire page
Special Dedication
A special dedication can be included in the wedding program, expressing that those who are no longer with the couple are held dearly in their hearts. Here is an example:
> "We lovingly remember those who are celebrating with us in spirit today. They are always in our hearts, and we know their love surrounds us on this special day."
In Loving Memory Section
An "In Loving Memory" section can be added to the program, where a sentence or two can be dedicated to the deceased grandparents without specifically listing their names. For example:
> "We remember our loved ones who could not be here with us today, especially our grandparents. They are in our hearts, and we feel their loving presence."
Symbolic Gestures
Symbolic gestures can be incorporated into the wedding ceremony to honour deceased grandparents. Here are some suggestions:
- Reserve a special place at the reception with framed photos of grandparents and other loved ones who have passed away.
- Light a candle in memory of the grandparents, representing their presence and surrounding love.
- Incorporate their favourite flowers or a meaningful memento, such as a photo charm, into the bridal bouquet or groomsmen's boutonniere.
- Play their favourite song or include a meaningful poem or prayer in the program to symbolise their presence.
- Display old wedding photos of grandparents at the entrance to the ceremony, honouring your heritage.
These suggestions provide ways to honour deceased grandparents without needing to list their names in the wedding program. The focus is on subtle yet heartfelt tributes that acknowledge their presence in spirit while keeping the mood of the celebration joyful and respectful.
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Including a heartfelt message
Choose a Format
You may want to include a dedicated section in your wedding program for deceased relatives, with a heading such as "In Loving Memory", "In Memoriam", or "We Remember". Alternatively, you could incorporate a sentence or two, such as "We know you'd be here today if heaven wasn't so far away" or "We remember those who are no longer with us", followed by the names of your grandparents.
Write a Message or Poem
Consider including a short passage, poem, or quote dedicated to your grandparents. This could be something like, "Though we cannot see you, we know you are here. Though we cannot touch you, we feel the warmth of your smile as we begin a new chapter in our lives". Another option is to add a personal touch by sharing a special recipe of your grandparents' or including a photograph of them.
Dedicate a Song or Dance
Music can be a powerful way to honour your grandparents. You could dedicate a special song to them and dance to it as a couple or with your new spouse. Alternatively, involve your guests with a moment of reflection during the ceremony, where your wedding officiant gives a brief introduction of your grandparents and asks everyone to pause for a moment.
Reserve a Seat
Since your grandparents would have been important guests, consider saving a seat for them with a small sign or a framed photograph. You could also lay a single flower from your bouquet on the chair as a heartfelt way to preserve their presence during the ceremony and reception.
Honour Them with Flowers or Candles
Flowers or candles are often used to symbolize remembrance. You could dedicate the flowers at the altar or unity candle table to your grandparents, with a message like, "The flowers/candle in loving memory of our grandparents who are not able to be here today but are watching over us as we say 'I do'".
Remember to discuss this with your partner and close family members, ensuring that everyone is comfortable with the way you choose to honour your deceased grandparents.
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Holding a candle-lighting ceremony
Including deceased grandparents in a wedding program is a thoughtful way to honour loved ones who are no longer with us. Here are some ideas for holding a candle-lighting ceremony as part of this remembrance:
Choosing the Right Candle
Select a candle that holds special meaning for you and your partner. It could be a simple pillar candle or a tapered candle, perhaps in your wedding colours or scented with your favourite fragrance. You may also choose to have it engraved or decorated with meaningful symbols or quotes.
Timing of the Ceremony
The candle-lighting ceremony can take place at any point during the wedding program. Some couples choose to light the candle after exchanging their vows, symbolically uniting their lives and families. Alternatively, it can be done at the beginning of the ceremony, representing the presence and blessing of those being remembered.
Involving Family and Friends
You can make the candle-lighting ceremony more intimate by involving your family and friends. Have the candle passed around to your wedding party and close family members. Ask each person to hold the candle and offer a silent blessing, wish, or positive thought for the couple. This can be a beautiful way to include those who are no longer with you and create a sense of unity among your loved ones.
The Lighting Ritual
During the ceremony, the couple typically lights a larger unity candle using individual taper candles. This ritual symbolises the merging of two lives and families. After lighting the unity candle, the couple may blow out their individual candles, leaving the unity candle lit for the remainder of the ceremony. At the end of the ceremony, the couple traditionally blows out the unity candle together, marking the start of their journey as a married couple.
Personalised Touches
You can personalise the candle-lighting ceremony to make it even more meaningful. Customise the candles to fit your wedding theme, or incorporate other symbolic elements like sand or flower petals. You can also include a special reading or music during the ceremony to enhance the atmosphere.
Including a candle-lighting ceremony in your wedding program is a beautiful way to honour deceased grandparents and create a poignant moment that symbolises unity, love, and remembrance.
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Toasting grandparents who couldn't attend
Toasting absent friends and family is a timeless tradition at weddings, honouring those who have shaped our lives and ensuring their memory remains vivid and cherished. Here are some ideas for toasting grandparents who couldn't attend your wedding:
Choose a Speaker
Traditionally, the best man toasts absent friends at a wedding, but this is not set in stone. Anyone who feels they have someone important to toast is encouraged to do so. Consider asking a close family member, such as a parent or sibling, to give a toast to your grandparents.
Include a Memorial
Some couples choose to include a memorial to their deceased grandparents in their wedding program, such as a section titled "In Loving Memory" or "We Remember." You can include a note expressing your wishes for their presence, such as "We know you'd be here today if heaven wasn't so far away." This can be a meaningful way to honour your grandparents before the wedding and during the ceremony.
Raise a Glass
During the wedding reception, the chosen speaker can invite all the guests to raise a glass and join in the toast. Here are some potential phrases to include:
- "Please join us in raising a glass to our loved ones – those who are here and those who sadly can't be with us today."
- "To our dear friends and family who couldn’t be here today, your presence is felt in every joyous moment we share."
- "To those who can't be with us today, we have you in our hearts and know you are celebrating from afar."
Share Personal Stories
Including personal anecdotes or memories involving your grandparents can make the toast more heartfelt and impactful. You can share stories that highlight their significance in your life and the special bond you shared. This adds emotional depth to the celebration and honours their memory.
Alternative Gestures
In addition to the toast, you may consider incorporating other gestures to honour your grandparents:
- Moment of Silence: In Latin American weddings, a moment of silence is often observed for those who can't attend.
- Candles: You can light a candle during the ceremony or reception to symbolise their memory.
- Photos or Videos: Share photos or video messages from your grandparents, including them in spirit and making their presence felt.
Remember, the key is to incorporate thoughtful words and sincere emotions to make these moments significant and cherished.
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Frequently asked questions
You can list your deceased grandparents under a section called "In Loving Memory", "Dedication", "Thank You", or "In Memoriam". You can also include a short message like "We know you'd be here today if heaven wasn't so far away" or "We are thinking of our loved ones who could not be here with us today".
It is not necessary to list all deceased grandparents, especially if it may cause pain or upset to certain family members. You can choose to only list the names of those grandparents who are especially significant to you and your partner.
You can format the list of deceased grandparents in paragraph form or as a list. If you choose to use a list, you can divide it into two columns: one for names and another to explain their relationship to you, such as "Grandmother of the Bride".
It is common to place the list of deceased grandparents at the end of the program, after the wedding party. This helps to separate the melancholy portion of the program from the celebratory section.
Yes, there are several other ways to honour your deceased grandparents at the wedding. You can include a recipe, hold a candle-lighting ceremony, save them a seat, or raise a toast in their honour.











































