Deborah Chan
Islam has strict conditions on interactions between the sexes, and it is generally considered haram for a man and woman to kiss before marriage. However, there are differing opinions on whether a couple can kiss at a Muslim wedding. While some sources state that the bride and groom are not allowed to kiss during the wedding ceremony, others describe the groom symbolically touching the bride's forehead, and the newlywed couple feeding each other wedding cake.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Kissing before marriage | Not allowed |
| Kissing during the wedding ceremony | Not allowed |
| Kissing in public | Forbidden |
| Kissing in private | Allowed |
| Kissing a non-mahram woman | Forbidden |
| Marriage practices | Arranged marriages, family involvement in matchmaking, early marriages |
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What You'll Learn
Public displays of affection are forbidden
The Quran and Hadith also address this issue, stating that it is haram for a Muslim to kiss a non-mahram woman. This prohibition extends to the wedding ceremony itself, where the bride and groom are not allowed to kiss on stage in front of their guests. Instead, they are expected to kiss in private after the ceremony. While kissing between spouses is not forbidden, it is advised that it be reserved for private settings.
Islamic marital jurisprudence also places strict conditions on interactions between the sexes, with mainstream Islamic marriages often being "family affairs" where parents and older relatives are involved in matchmaking. This is because Islam encourages early marriage without dating beforehand, and forbids premarital sex. As a result, kissing before marriage is also considered haram, as it can lead to forbidden actions.
While some Muslim-majority countries may be more relaxed about public displays of affection, it is important for Muslims to remember their religious obligations and refrain from engaging in any behaviour that could be considered immoral or lead to sin. This includes kissing or touching someone who is not a spouse or close relative, especially during a wedding ceremony.
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Kissing before marriage is haram
Kissing before marriage is considered haram in Islam. This prohibition extends to kissing someone of the opposite gender who is not your spouse, as well as touching and engaging in lustful conversations, as these actions are considered aspects of Zina. Zina refers to both pre-marital and extra-marital sexual intercourse and is deemed absolutely prohibited in the Qur'an.
In Islam, a man and his fiancée are not considered married until the marriage contract is completed. Therefore, it is not permissible for them to be alone together, travel together, touch, or kiss. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) warned against such actions, stating that "no man is alone with a woman but the devil is the third one present."
Some Muslims express that this prohibition is challenging to navigate in today's society, where it is common for men and women to interact in professional and social settings. However, they emphasize that adhering to Islamic teachings remains crucial, regardless of societal norms.
It is important to note that the concept of romance before marriage is not inherently wrong in Islam. Loving someone is not considered a sin. However, if these feelings lead to haram actions, such as kissing or touching, the relationship is then considered haram according to Shariah law. Islam encourages individuals to see someone with the intention of marriage, as supported by the following hadith: "When a man is going to ask for the hand of a woman with the purpose of marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so" (Abu Dawood, 2082).
While kissing before marriage is considered haram, Islam does not impose any capital punishment for individuals who engage in this act. Punishment is only enforced in cases of adultery or fornication, and even then, there must be four witnesses to the haram act.
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The wedding ceremony
One of the key aspects of a Muslim wedding ceremony is the nikah, which refers to the agreement to marry and is a crucial step in the marriage process. During the nikah, the couple exchanges vows and signs the marriage contract, solidifying their commitment to each other. It is important to note that before the nikah, physical contact between the couple is generally prohibited, and they are considered strangers to each other in the eyes of Islam.
Another important ritual in the wedding ceremony is the symbolic touching or symbolic kiss. While kissing on the lips during the wedding ceremony is considered haram and discouraged in public, there are still ways for the couple to express their love and affection. In some cultures, the groom may symbolically touch his bride's forehead or kiss her on the cheek or forehead as a sign of their union. This act is often done during the reception, after the nikah, as a way to welcome and introduce the newlyweds to the guests.
While Islam encourages early marriages and discourages dating before engagement, it is important to note that the religion places a strong emphasis on consent and the approval of both the bride and groom. Forced marriages are not permitted, and the consent of both individuals is considered essential for a valid marriage contract.
In conclusion, the wedding ceremony in Islam is a sacred and joyous occasion, filled with rituals and traditions that signify the union of two individuals and their commitment to each other. While kissing on the lips during the ceremony is generally discouraged in public, there are other ways to express affection, such as symbolic touches or kisses on the forehead or cheek. The ceremony is also a time for celebration, feasting, and the coming together of families and communities.
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The wedding reception
At the reception, the bride, often accompanied by her father, makes her entrance and joins the waiting groom. The groom then removes the bride's veil and may kiss her on the cheek or forehead. This act of kissing is not universally accepted among Muslims, with some considering it haram to kiss before the completion of the marriage contract.
The newlyweds then proceed to welcome the guests, take photographs, and enjoy various entertainment, such as belly dancing, drumming, singing, and candelabra dancing. The cutting of the wedding cake is also a special moment, as the bride and groom feed each other, symbolizing their love and commitment.
In some cultures, like in rural Egyptian weddings, there may be a colorful procession where the bride travels by camel, accompanied by her wedding party. Their journey is filled with dancing, singing, and expressions of joy through zaghareet (ululation).
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Marriage in Islam
Islam considers marriage a sacred bond between a man and a woman, and it is viewed as an essential pillar of human life. It is believed that marriage is the only legitimate relationship between a man and a woman, and it serves the purpose of preserving humanity through procreation. Marriage is also regarded as a way to attain spiritual perfection and is considered obligatory or highly recommended.
In Islam, marriage is a contractual agreement between a man and a woman, requiring the consent of both parties. The contract outlines the rights and obligations of both spouses and includes a gift from the groom to the bride, known as a mahr. The groom can be married to up to four women, a practice called polygyny, while the bride can only be married to one man. Divorce is permitted in Islam and can be initiated by either the husband or the wife through various methods.
The importance of marriage in Islam is emphasised by the Prophet, who said, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage." It is believed that a successful marriage in Islam is based on fulfilling the purposes of marriage, understanding the accompanying rights and obligations, and strengthening the partners' relationship.
Islam also provides guidelines for interactions between men and women before marriage. For example, a man and his fiancée are not permitted to be alone together, as this may lead to forbidden actions. Kissing before marriage is generally discouraged, as it is believed to be a precursor to sexual intimacy, which is prohibited before marriage.
Overall, marriage in Islam is a sacred institution that promotes family formation, societal stability, and spiritual fulfilment, with specific guidelines and rituals to ensure a healthy and harmonious union between spouses.
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Frequently asked questions
It is forbidden for a Muslim couple to kiss in public during their wedding ceremony. However, they are allowed to kiss in private after the wedding ceremonies have been completed.
According to the hadith by Prophet Muhammad, it is better for a Muslim to have a nail driven into their head than to touch anyone who is not a close relation.
Before the Nikah ceremony, the couple is not allowed to touch or be alone together. Kissing a woman during the engagement period is considered haram.
