Neighbors At Nuptials: To Invite Or Not?

Wedding guest lists can be a tricky business. Couples have to balance their own wishes with those of their families, as well as venue restrictions and budgets. Wedding planner Jove Meyer advises couples to remember that weddings are not a show, they are not a performance... only those you love and are close to should be included. So, when it comes to inviting neighbours, it's really a question of how close you are to them. If you regularly socialise with them, it's a nice gesture to include them. However, if you barely know them, or they've previously declined your invitations, you're not expected to invite them.

Invite neighbours you're close with

Deciding whether to invite your neighbours to your wedding can be a tricky question. Wedding planners and experts agree that the most important factor when creating your guest list is to invite the people you love and are close to. If you are close to your neighbours and spending time with them brings you joy, then they should be on your guest list. However, if you are not particularly close or have lost touch with them, then you are not obligated to invite them.

It is worth noting that weddings are intimate celebrations, and the cost per guest can be significant. Wedding planner Chanda Daniels suggests that if you wouldn't take someone out for a $300-plus meal, then they don't need to receive a wedding invitation. This guideline can help you decide whether to invite your neighbours or not. If you regularly socialise with your neighbours, go out for drinks, or invite them to family events, then they are likely candidates for your guest list. On the other hand, if your interactions are limited to occasional parties or you rarely spend time together, it may be best to exclude them.

Another consideration is whether you want to maintain consistency with previous events. For example, if you have previously invited your neighbours to significant events, such as birthday parties or Thanksgiving dinners, it may be appropriate to include them on your wedding guest list. However, if they have excluded you from their special occasions, such as a baby shower, then you might decide that reciprocity is not necessary.

Ultimately, the decision to invite your neighbours rests with you and your partner. If you are close to your neighbours and want them to share in your special day, by all means, include them. However, if your relationship is more distant or casual, it is perfectly acceptable to exclude them from your guest list without feeling obligated or petty. Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love with the people who are closest to you.

Don't feel obliged to invite those you're not

Deciding on a guest list for your wedding can be a challenging part of wedding planning. Couples often balance their wishes with those of their families, as well as venue restrictions and budget considerations. It is essential to remember that your wedding is a celebration of your love, and only those you love and are close to should be invited.

When it comes to neighbours, you are not obliged to invite those you are not close with. Wedding planner Chanda Daniels advises, "If you wouldn't take that person out to a $300-plus meal—think of the cost per person for an average wedding—then they don't need to get a wedding invitation." This holds true even if they live next door to you. If you don't spend time with them, there is no need to feel pressured to include them in your special day. Your wedding is an intimate celebration, and you should surround yourself with people who bring you joy and support your relationship.

It is natural to want to maintain a cordial relationship with your neighbours, but that doesn't mean you have to invite them to your wedding. If you are concerned about creating tension or causing offence, remember that it is your day, and you can always politely explain that you are keeping the guest list small or only including close friends and family. Most people will understand and respect your decision.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to invite your neighbours is a personal one. If you feel that including certain neighbours will enhance your celebration and bring you joy, then by all means, extend an invitation. However, if you don't feel a connection or sense of closeness with them, don't feel pressured to invite them. Your wedding day is about celebrating your love and surrounding yourself with people who truly matter to you.

Consider reciprocity when deciding

When deciding whether to invite your neighbours to your wedding, it's important to consider the nature of your relationship and the principle of reciprocity. While it's not mandatory to invite them, it can be a nice gesture, especially if you have a friendly relationship and spend time together.

If you have multiple sets of neighbours, you don't have to invite them all. Consider the closeness of your relationship and how often you interact. For example, if you regularly socialise with one set of neighbours, invite them over for drinks, and they invite you to their gatherings, it's a strong indication that you should invite them to your wedding. On the other hand, if your interactions are minimal and they rarely accept your invitations, it's unlikely that they expect a wedding invitation and you can comfortably leave them off your guest list.

Reciprocity is an important factor in maintaining positive relationships, and it's natural to want to include those who have shown support and friendship. However, it's also essential to remember that your wedding is a celebration of your love, and you shouldn't feel obligated to invite anyone out of a sense of obligation or pressure. Ultimately, the decision should be based on the significance of your relationship and whether their presence would bring you joy on your special day.

It's worth noting that weddings are intimate and often expensive affairs, and you shouldn't feel pressured to invite everyone in your neighbourhood or anyone you don't have a close connection with. If you have limited space or a tight budget, focus on inviting those who are closest to you and will add to the joy and celebration of your wedding day.

Weigh up the cost of inviting them

When deciding whether to invite your neighbours to your wedding, it's important to consider the costs involved. Wedding planners Chanda Daniels and Jove Meyer advise that the couple's favourite people should be at the top of the guest list—those who bring them joy and will be excited to celebrate their special day. It's also worth noting that the average cost of a wedding guest is $580, so the financial implications of the guest list are significant.

The first step is to determine your budget and how many people you can afford to invite. Wedding director Susan Norcross suggests setting aside half of the budget for the venue and catering, which can help create a realistic guest list. The cost of a wedding guest includes not only the food and drinks but also the cost of invitations, which average $7.88 each. If you're providing wedding favours, these will cost an average of $353 in total.

The location of your wedding will also impact the cost per guest. For a destination wedding, guests who drive out of town spend on average $680, while those who fly report spending $1,600. Childcare is an additional cost, averaging $130 for travelling guests and $30 for local guests.

When creating your guest list, it's essential to consider the financial implications for your guests. The average wedding gift spend is $150, and guests also need to consider their attire, accommodation, and travel expenses. These costs can add up quickly, especially for those travelling to attend.

In conclusion, when deciding whether to invite your neighbours to your wedding, carefully consider your budget and the associated costs per guest. The financial implications are significant, and you want to ensure that you can invite the people who are most important to you and will bring you joy on your special day.

Discuss with your partner

When it comes to inviting neighbours to your wedding, it's essential to discuss and decide with your partner. Here are some points to consider:

Your Relationship with the Neighbours

Take an honest look at your relationship with the neighbours. Are you close to them? Do you spend time together, go out for drinks, or invite each other to celebrations? If you share a close bond and consider them friends, then inviting them to your wedding can be a wonderful way to include them in your special day. On the other hand, if your interactions are limited and you don't feel a strong connection, there may be less obligation to include them on your guest list.

Budget and Venue Constraints

Creating a guest list involves considering your budget and venue constraints. Discuss with your partner how many people you can realistically accommodate at your wedding. Be mindful that a larger guest list may require a bigger venue or adjustments to your budget. If you have limited space or financial constraints, you may need to be more selective about who you invite.

Social Dynamics and Potential Awkwardness

Consider the social dynamics between you, your partner, and the neighbours. Are there any potential sources of tension or awkwardness? For example, if you are much closer to one set of neighbours than the other, inviting only one party might create a sense of exclusion or discomfort. Discuss with your partner how to navigate these dynamics gracefully.

Mutual Agreement and Compromise

It's important to find a solution that both you and your partner are comfortable with. If your partner feels strongly about inviting certain neighbours, try to understand their perspective and see if there is room for compromise. Perhaps you can agree on inviting only those neighbours you are both close with and leave out those you rarely interact with. Remember, the goal is to create a harmonious guest list that reflects the people you love and want to celebrate with.

Managing Expectations and Potential Reactions

The "Joy Test"

Wedding planner Jove Meyer offers a simple guideline: "Does spending time with them bring you joy?" If the neighbours in question bring you and your partner joy and excitement, they might be worth including. However, if the idea of inviting them feels more like an obligation than a pleasure, it's probably best to leave them off the guest list.

Frequently asked questions