While the idea of a best man is not a Jewish custom, the role of the groom's companion is often fulfilled by a
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Role | The idea of a "best man" is not a Jewish custom. However, the groom's equivalent is a "shomer" and the bride's is a "shomeret". |
Tasks | Holding the wedding ring, being responsible for the ketubah (marriage contract), serving as a witness for the ketubah, acting as master of ceremonies, toasting the newlyweds, etc. |
Etymology | "Shomer" means a guard or watchman in Hebrew. |
What You'll Learn
The role of a best man is not a Jewish custom
While the concept of a "best man" is not a Jewish custom, the groom's companion at a Jewish wedding is known as a
The shomer's responsibilities include handling financial matters, dealing with family and friends, and ensuring the groom gets enough rest before the wedding. The shomer also acts as the groom's companion, joining him for meals and other activities. In addition, the shomer may be tasked with safeguarding the wedding ring and the "ketubah" (marriage contract).
The bride, or "Kallah," also has a companion known as the "Shomeret," whose role is similar to that of the shomer. The Shomeret ensures the bride arrives at her wedding free of worry and stress.
While the roles of shomer and shomeret are not identical to that of a best man, they share some similarities, such as providing support and assistance to the groom and bride, respectively.
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A best man can be a ''shomer,' a guard or watchman
While the idea of a "best man" is not a Jewish custom, a Jewish wedding offers many opportunities to honour a specific individual. One such role is that of a shomer, a guard or watchman. The shomer's main task is to ensure the groom (Chatan) gets to his wedding as worry-free as possible. The shomeret, the Jewish best woman, is the counterpart to the shomer. Her job is similar: to help the bride (Kallah) get to her wedding free of worry and stress.
The shomer should be with the groom at all times starting the night before the wedding. The shomer should accompany the groom everywhere he goes. The shomer's prime goal is to remove any worry from the groom, who should not be preoccupied with anything but getting married. The shomer should handle money issues, family, friends, and any other problems that may arise. The shomer should also be in close contact with the bride's shomeret to enable coordination.
The shomer should ensure the groom gets to sleep early the night before the wedding and does not go to a late-night party. The shomer should also ensure the groom goes to the Mikvah and daven Mincha with vidui. The shomer should make sure the groom rests in the afternoon on the day of the wedding and should accompany the groom to the wedding hall.
The shomer should also handle any financial payments and make arrangements for transportation for the couple after the wedding.
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A best man can hold the wedding ring
While the idea of a "best man" is not a Jewish custom, a Jewish wedding offers many opportunities to honour a specific individual. One task that can be delegated to the best man is holding the wedding ring for the groom until it is needed beneath the chuppah.
The best man can also be responsible for the ketubah (marriage contract). The ketubah is given to the bride beneath the chuppah and needs to be safeguarded until the bride takes it home with her after the reception. The best man could also serve as a witness for the ketubah or one of the other witnesses needed during a Jewish wedding.
In Hebrew, the word for best man is 'shomer', which means a guard or watchman. The shomer's main task is to ensure the groom gets to his wedding worry-free. The shomer should be with the groom at all times starting the night before the wedding and should handle any money issues, family, and friends. The shomer should also make sure the groom gets to the wedding on time and has everything he needs.
The counterpart of the shomer is the 'shomeret', the Jewish best woman, whose role is to help the bride get to the wedding free of worry and stress.
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A best man can be made responsible for the ketubah (marriage contract)
Although the idea of a "best man" is not a Jewish custom, a Jewish wedding offers many opportunities to honour a specific individual. One of the tasks that can be delegated to the best man is to be made responsible for the ketubah (marriage contract).
The ketubah is a significant part of a traditional Jewish marriage. It outlines the groom's rights and responsibilities in relation to the bride and is considered a form of protection for the wife. The contract includes the groom's obligation to provide clothing, food, and conjugal relations to his wife, as well as a fixed sum of money to be paid to the wife in the event of divorce or his death.
The best man can be entrusted with safeguarding the ketubah during the wedding ceremony. The ketubah is given to the bride under the chuppah and needs to be kept in a secure place until the bride takes it home with her after the reception. As the ketubah is a legally binding document, it is important to ensure its safety and storage in a safe location.
Additionally, the best man could serve as one of the witnesses required for the ketubah. According to Jewish law, the witnesses must be halakhically valid and cannot be blood relatives of the couple. In Orthodox Judaism, women are also not considered valid witnesses.
Overall, delegating the responsibility of the ketubah to the best man ensures the smooth handling and safekeeping of this important document during the wedding ceremony and provides a way to honour a special individual during a Jewish wedding.
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A best man can serve as a witness for the ketubah or other wedding requirements
The idea of a "best man" is not a Jewish custom. However, if there is a specific individual whom the groom wishes to honour, there are many opportunities to do so at a Jewish wedding. One such role is to serve as a witness for the ketubah or other wedding requirements.
The ketubah, like any Jewish legal document, requires the signatures of two witnesses to be valid. These witnesses play an important role in the ketubah signing ceremony, as their signatures affirm that a marriage has occurred. The witnesses' role is to watch carefully as the rabbi fills out the information about the couple and to participate in the "kinyan" ceremony. In the kinyan ceremony, the husband gains the exclusive right to be with his wife. The groom will hold a handkerchief or piece of a garment and symbolically barter for his exclusive rights and agree to undertake the obligations outlined in the ketubah. Once the kinyan has occurred, the witnesses may sign the ketubah.
According to Jewish law, witnesses should be virtuous, observant, bar-mitzvahed men who are not related by blood or marriage to either the bride or groom. In Reform or secular Judaism, women can also be chosen as ketubah witnesses. Some rabbis may even allow people of other faiths to serve as witnesses.
The involvement of witnesses is needed several times during the course of the wedding ceremony. The same two witnesses can perform all the different functions, or different sets of witnesses can be used—which is traditionally the case, due to the desire to bestow honours on as many individuals as possible.
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Frequently asked questions
The idea of a "best man" is not a Jewish custom. However, if there is a specific individual whom the groom wishes to honour, they can be given important roles in the wedding.
The best man, or "shomer" in Hebrew, ensures the groom gets to the wedding worry-free. They handle money, family, friends, and other issues so the groom can relax. The best man can also hold the wedding ring, be responsible for the marriage contract, and serve as a witness.
This depends on the level of observance of the Jewish individual. Some Jews will not enter a church at all. Others may be comfortable entering a church but will refrain from participating in any rituals or customs that go against Jewish law.
Yes, the counterpart of the "shomer" is the "shomeret", who helps the bride get to the wedding free of worry and stress.