Will You Be My Best Man, Brother?

Asking your brother to be your best man is a special moment, but it can be a daunting task. While it's not necessary to make your brother your best man, it is a wonderful way to honour your relationship and include him in your big day. If you have multiple brothers, you might choose to have them both take on the role, or opt for another role, such as groomsman, usher, or ring bearer. When asking your brother to be your best man, it's best to have a conversation without gifts or pressure. You could also write him a note or include a small gift, but a simple I love you, will you be my best man? will suffice.

Ask in person or via a note

Asking your brother to be your best man is a special moment, and there are a few ways to go about it. Asking in person or via a note are both great options, and here are some ideas for how to do it:

Asking in Person

This option allows for a more intimate and spontaneous moment. You can choose a meaningful location, perhaps somewhere that holds significance for both of you, and pop the question. It could be a place from your childhood, a favourite spot, or even at a family gathering. Asking in person gives you the opportunity to express your feelings directly and see your brother's reaction. It also allows for a more immediate response, which can make the moment more exciting and memorable.

Asking via a Note

Writing a note can be a thoughtful and heartfelt way to ask your brother. It gives you the time to carefully craft your message and include specific details about why you want him to be your best man. You could write about shared memories, your relationship, and how much it would mean to have him by your side on your wedding day. A note also serves as a keepsake that your brother can cherish long after the wedding. If you go down this route, consider including a small gift, like something that represents your bond or an inside joke.

Things to Include in Your Ask

Regardless of the method you choose, there are a few key things to include in your request:

• Express your love and appreciation for your brother. Tell him how much he means to you and why you want him by your side on this special day.
• Share some memories. Recall specific moments from your childhood or funny anecdotes that only the two of you might know. This will make your ask more personal and heartfelt.
• Explain what being a best man entails. Let him know that you value his support and that you want him to be actively involved in the wedding preparations and celebrations.
• Give him time to respond. While it's exciting to pop the question, remember to give your brother the space and time to consider the request. He might need a moment to process the honour and the responsibilities that come with being a best man.

Remember, the most important thing is to be sincere and authentic in your request. Your brother will surely appreciate the thought and effort you put into asking him to be your best man.

Include a joke

Asking your brother to be your best man is a special honour and a significant responsibility. It's not just about recounting childhood anecdotes or sharing humorous stories; it's about capturing the essence of your relationship and celebrating his journey to this milestone moment. Here are some ideas on how to ask your brother to be your best man, with a touch of humour:

Have a Normal Conversation

Although it may seem obvious, the vast majority of people simply ask their brother with their words. You could say something like, "I love you, bro. Will you be my best man?" or, "Hey bro, do you wanna be my best man at my wedding?" Keep it casual and lighthearted, and give him some time to think about it.

Write a Note or a Letter

If you want to make it more special, you could write your brother a heartfelt note or letter expressing your feelings. You could say something like, "Dear [Brother's Name], I hope you know how much you mean to me. As my brother, you have been by my side through thick and thin, and I can't imagine getting married without you standing by my side as my best man. Will you accept this role and be a part of my big day? Love, [Your Name]."

Add a Touch of Humour

If you and your brother share a great sense of humour, you could incorporate a joke or a lighthearted comment into your request. For example, "Hey bro, I know we've had our fair share of sibling rivalry, but I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have by my side on my wedding day. Will you be my best man? (No pressure, but if you say no, Mum will definitely take your side)." Or, "I know I've pulled your leg a thousand times, but this time I'm serious. Will you be my best man? I promise not to embarrass you... too much."

Give a Small Gift

Although it's not necessary to give a gift when asking someone to be your best man, you could always give your brother a small token of your appreciation. It could be something related to your shared interests or inside jokes, or simply a card with a funny message. Just remember, don't ask a favour with a gift, as it may put pressure on them to accept.

Remember, when asking your brother to be your best man, it's important to be sincere and heartfelt. Express your feelings and let him know how much it would mean to you to have him by your side on your wedding day. Good luck!

Congratulate the couple

Congratulating the couple is an important part of any best man's speech, but it's even more significant when the best man is the groom's brother. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft this section of your speech:

• If you and your siblings are close, chances are you've known your brother's partner almost as long as they have. You can mention this in your speech, saying something like, "You've felt like family since the day my brother brought you home."
• Share your joy and excitement for their future together. Express your happiness and pride in your brother's choice of a partner.
• Welcome the bride into the family. You can say something like, "We are thrilled to have you in our family, and I can't wait for many more shared memories and adventures."
• Offer your blessings and best wishes for their marriage. Raise your glass and invite everyone to join you in a toast to the newlyweds.
• Share a favourite memory or anecdote that showcases the couple's relationship and their love for each other. For example, you can talk about a family vacation or a fun activity you all did together.
• Compliment the couple and their relationship. Highlight how they bring out the best in each other and how their love is genuine and deep.

Examples

"As the groom's brother and best man, I'm supposed to welcome [Bride] into our family and tell you how happy I am to have gained another sibling. But the truth is, you've felt like family since the day my brother brought you home. I've had the pleasure of getting to know you over the years, and I can confidently say you're the perfect match for my brother. We are thrilled to have you in our family, and I look forward to many more shared memories and adventures."

"Speaking of [Bride], I've had the pleasure of getting to know her over the years, and I can confidently say she's the perfect match for my brother. She's kind, intelligent, and has a wonderful sense of humour that complements my brother's playful nature. I've seen the way they look at each other, and it's clear that their love is genuine and deep. They bring out the best in each other, and it's a joy to witness."

"One of my favourite memories of my brother and his bride was during a family vacation a few years ago. We decided to go on a hiking trip, and they took the lead, navigating the trails with ease and encouraging the rest of us to keep going. Their teamwork and mutual encouragement were inspiring, and it was clear that they were not just partners in life but also the best of friends."

"I am filled with pride and happiness for my brother and his bride. [Bride], welcome to our family. We are so happy to have you, and we look forward to getting to know you even better. Please join me in raising your glasses to my brother and his bride. Here's to a lifetime of love, laughter, and endless happiness. Cheers!"

Share a family story

Sharing family stories is an important part of a best man's speech, especially when the best man is the groom's brother. Here are four to six paragraphs with ideas for family stories to include in your speech:

Childhood Memories

Recall the adventures you had together as children. Did you build a treehouse that collapsed in a storm, or spend endless summer days at the local swimming pool? Perhaps you snuck out of the house together for some late-night adventures. These shared experiences will evoke nostalgia and highlight the depth of your bond.

Sibling Rivalry

A little sibling rivalry is inevitable and can make for some entertaining stories. Did you ever have "play" fights that resembled Mixed Martial Arts matches? Or did your brother always look up to you because you usually had him pinned to the floor? These stories will add a playful touch to your speech and showcase the competitive spirit between siblings.

Early Milestones

Think back to your brother's early milestones, such as riding a bike for the first time or passing an important exam. You could also mention the first time he treated everyone to a meal with his first salary. These stories will not only be heartwarming but will also showcase your brother's growth and development over the years.

Family Holidays

Family holidays often provide a treasure trove of memories and anecdotes. Share a story about a family vacation where you and your brother took the lead in navigating trails during a hiking trip or kayaking excursion. These stories will not only be entertaining but will also demonstrate your brother's leadership qualities and his ability to rise to a challenge.

Parenting Styles

Reflect on the parenting styles of your parents and how they shaped your brother's personality and values. Did they have a unique ability to always know what was going on in your lives, or did they provide a supportive and loving environment that fostered your brother's growth? This is a great way to honour your parents and show your gratitude for their role in your lives.

Mischief and Misadventures

Recount some of the mischievous moments you shared with your brother, such as setting off fireworks from your bedroom window or getting into trouble for sneaking out. These stories will add a touch of humour to your speech and showcase the playful side of your relationship.

Make it heartfelt

Asking your brother to be your best man is a heartfelt gesture, and it's important to make your request just as heartfelt. Here are some ideas to help you craft a meaningful message:

Express Your Love and Appreciation

Begin by telling your brother how much you love and appreciate him. Let him know that he holds a special place in your life and that you value your bond. You can say something like, "You've always been there for me, and I'm so grateful to have you as my brother." This will set the tone for your request and showcase the depth of your feelings.

Share Why You Want Him as Your Best Man

Explain to your brother why you want him specifically to be your best man. You can talk about your unique relationship and how he has supported you throughout your life. Mention that you trust him and want him by your side on this important day. For example, you could say, "I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have as my best man. You've been my rock, and I know I can count on you."

Highlight Your Shared History

Take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about your shared history. Recall specific moments or experiences that only the two of you understand. This will add a personal touch to your request and demonstrate the depth of your connection. You might say, "I still remember when we used to sneak out together as kids. We've shared so many adventures, and I can't imagine anyone else standing by my side on my wedding day."

Emphasize the Honour and Responsibility

Let your brother know that being a best man is an honour and a significant responsibility. Explain that you trust him to take on this role and that it would mean a lot to you. You can say, "Being a best man is so much more than just a title. It's about having someone I can rely on and who will be there for me. I truly hope you'll accept this role because it would mean the world to me."

Be Direct and Sincere

After building up your request with heartfelt sentiments, be direct and sincere in asking him to be your best man. You can simply say, "Will you be my best man?" or "I would be honoured if you would be my best man." Your sincerity will shine through, and your brother will undoubtedly feel touched by your words.

Write a Letter or Have a Conversation

Consider writing your thoughts in a letter or having a private conversation with your brother. This allows you to express yourself fully and ensures that your request is delivered with the care and attention it deserves. A letter can be treasured for years to come, and a conversation allows for an immediate emotional connection and response.

Remember, the key is to speak from the heart and let your brother know how much he means to you. Good luck with your request, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Frequently asked questions