Big Wedding Blues: To Host Or Not?

There are many factors to consider when deciding whether to have a big wedding or not. Firstly, it's important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to weddings, and you should do what feels right for you and your partner. If you have a large family or circle of friends, a big wedding can be a great way to celebrate with everyone you care about and avoid difficult guest list decisions. It also guarantees a buzzing atmosphere and instant party vibes! However, big weddings can be more expensive and may require a bigger budget. They also require more planning and coordination, which might not suit everyone. On the other hand, smaller weddings can be more intimate and allow for more quality time with your favourite people. They are also generally easier to plan and can be more personalised. Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and what you and your partner envision for your special day.

Budget: Can you afford a big wedding?

Budgeting for a wedding can be a daunting task, but it's crucial to ensure you don't start your married life in debt. The average cost of a wedding in the US is around $30,000 to $35,000, but this can vary widely depending on factors such as location, guest count, and personal preferences. Here are some things to consider when deciding if you can afford a big wedding:

Determine Your Budget

Before you start planning, it's essential to set a realistic budget that you and your partner are comfortable with. Be honest about your financial situation and how much you can afford to spend. If you have a large budget and want to create an amazing weekend for your guests, then a big wedding is definitely achievable. However, if you're balling on a budget, a smaller, more intimate wedding might be a better option.

Guest List

The number of guests you invite will have a significant impact on your budget. There's a per-head cost for food and drinks, which are usually the biggest expenses. By reducing the guest list, you can also save on other details such as decor, stationery, favors, and rentals. If you have a large family or a lot of friends, a big wedding might be inevitable, but it's important to be realistic about what you can afford.

Venue and Catering

The venue and catering are typically the biggest expenses, taking up about 37% and 29% of the average wedding budget, respectively. When choosing a venue, consider the location, time of year, and headcount minimums, as these can significantly impact the cost. Catering costs will depend on the number of guests and the type of food and drinks you choose to serve. Alcohol can be a significant expense, so consider your options carefully.

Other Expenses

There are numerous other expenses to consider when budgeting for a big wedding, including entertainment, photography, flowers, wedding attire, wedding planner, event rentals, lighting and decor, DJ or band, guest entertainment, transportation, hair and makeup, stationery, wedding cake, and favors. It's important to allocate funds correctly and keep track of your spending to avoid going over budget.

Ways to Save

There are several ways to save money when planning a big wedding. You can cut back on monthly expenses, such as gym memberships or subscription services. Eliminate unnecessary spending habits, such as daily coffee or eating out frequently. Consider making bigger sacrifices, such as moving in with parents or selling a car. You can also use credit cards, but it's crucial to pay them off in full and on time to avoid debt.

Funding Options

Discuss with your partner how you plan to fund the wedding. Some couples go the traditional route of having family members contribute, while others pay for it themselves. You can create a dedicated wedding fund as part of your monthly budget or use a mix of savings, credit cards, and loans. Just be sure to weigh the pros and cons before taking on any debt.

Remember, the most important thing is to stay within your means and not feel pressured to spend beyond your budget. A big wedding can be memorable and special, but it's not worth starting your married life with financial stress.

Guest list: Do you want a lot of people there?

When it comes to your wedding, it's important to remember that there is no one right way to do things. It's your day, so make sure you get the wedding that you want.

If you're a social butterfly with a large family and circle of friends, a big wedding could be the perfect choice for you. With a large guest list, there will be fewer difficult decisions about who to invite, and less chance of hurt feelings. Plus, it will be easier to accommodate plus ones and children, so no one misses out. A big wedding is also ideal if you want to create a buzz of excitement and guarantee good vibes on your special day.

However, a big guest list can also come with its challenges. Firstly, you'll need to consider your budget. A larger wedding will likely be more expensive, so you'll need to ensure you have the funds to cover the costs. Additionally, a big wedding can be more logistically complex to plan, with more details to coordinate and a greater number of people to accommodate.

Another factor to consider is the level of intimacy you want at your wedding. With a large guest list, you may not have as much time to connect with each person as you would with a smaller wedding. If you're looking for a more intimate and personalised celebration, a smaller guest list may be a better option.

Ultimately, the decision about the size of your guest list comes down to your personal preferences and what you and your partner envision for your special day. If you want to share your joy with a large group of people and create a memorable celebration, a big guest list could be the right choice. However, if you prefer a more intimate and low-key event, a smaller guest list may be more suitable.

Traditions: Do you want a traditional wedding?

There are many reasons why you may want a traditional wedding. Firstly, it's a chance to share your joy with everyone you care about. You can invite all your cousins, their partners, and their children, as well as friends and more distant relatives. A large wedding can also be a wonderful way to celebrate your special day and include all your family and friends.

You can also create a unique atmosphere with decorations, music, and food. A big wedding can give you the opportunity to wear the dress of your dreams, and the perfect venue. A classic car, a beautiful dress, flowers, and a stunning venue will leave you with wonderful memories and stunning photos.

However, there are also many reasons why you may not want a traditional wedding. Firstly, it can be expensive, and you may prefer to spend your money on a house or other things. If you are on a budget, a smaller wedding can free up funds for other things, like a band or cocktail bar. A smaller wedding is also less stressful to plan, and you won't have to worry about things like the fit of six bridesmaids' dresses or a veil ripping.

A traditional wedding may also not feel right for you. You may not feel comfortable with the idea of hundreds of people watching you kiss in a church, or with the property transition undertones of giving away the bride. You may also not want to spend a year picking out decorations and bickering over the guest list.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your partner to decide what type of wedding you want. You can choose to be a little 'selfish' and focus on creating a day that celebrates your vision together as a couple and the things that truly matter to you.

Planning: Do you want to plan a big event?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, so it's important to remember that there is no one right way to do it. The most important thing is that you do what feels right for you and your partner.

If you're considering a big wedding, it's a good idea to first think about your budget. Big weddings can be expensive, so you'll want to make sure you have the funds available to cover the costs. This might include the costs of a larger venue, more food and drink, and potentially accommodation for guests.

Another thing to consider is your guest list. If you have a large family or circle of friends, a big wedding might be a good option to ensure that no one feels left out. It can also be a great opportunity to reconnect with relatives or friends you don't often get to see. However, a larger guest list can also mean more difficult decisions about who to invite, and a greater chance of hurt feelings if someone is left out.

A big wedding can also be a lot of work to plan. There are often more logistics to consider, such as seating plans, transportation, and accommodation. However, with a big wedding, you may also have more helping hands to delegate tasks to.

Finally, think about the type of experience you want to create. A big wedding can be a grand celebration with a buzz of excitement and a lively party atmosphere. It can also be a great opportunity to go all out with decorations, music, and food. However, if you're looking for a more intimate and relaxed day, a smaller wedding might be a better option.

Ultimately, the decision to plan a big wedding is a personal one. It's important to consider your budget, guest list, planning logistics, and the type of experience you want to create. Remember, it's your day, so make sure you do what feels right for you and your partner.

Attention: Are you comfortable being the centre of attention?

Being the centre of attention can be fun part of having a wedding, but for many, it can be a daunting prospect. If you're an introvert, have social anxiety, or are simply very shy, you may dread the idea of a wedding with all eyes on you. If this is the case, a very small guest list with only your closest friends and family in attendance may be the best option for you.

However, if your partner has always dreamed of a large celebration, or you have a large family and community of friends where big weddings are the norm, you may feel pressure to have a bigger wedding. In this case, there are ways to limit the amount of attention on you throughout the day.

For the ceremony, you could keep it short and sweet, with the officiant doing most of the talking. You could also have both parents or two important people walk you down the aisle, acting as a shield from your guests. At the reception, you could quietly join your attendees during cocktail hour and sit at a head table with your new spouse and other members of the wedding party, rather than at a separate sweetheart table. You could also skip traditions like cake cutting, bouquet tossing, and the first dance if you don't want all eyes on you.

If you have the budget, you could even consider hosting a separate, more intimate ceremony for just your closest friends and family, and then opening up the reception to a larger group. This way, you can enjoy the celebration with all your loved ones without feeling like the centre of attention the entire day.

Remember, it's important to do what feels right for you and your partner. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to weddings, and you should feel comfortable expressing your concerns to your partner and families. Ultimately, it's your day, and you should feel happy and comfortable with the decisions you make.

Frequently asked questions