Big, Small, Or In-Between: Planning A Wedding That Fits

do I want a big or small wedding

Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to deciding on the size of the celebration. Do you want a big, grand affair or an intimate gathering with your closest friends and family? There are pros and cons to both options.

A big wedding can be a lot of fun, with a lively and celebratory atmosphere. You can invite as many people as you want, from extended family to coworkers, without having to worry about offending anyone who's left out. A large guest list also makes it easier to meet minimum spend requirements set by venues or suppliers. Plus, with more helping hands, you can go all out with your plans and decorations.

However, a big wedding also comes with a bigger price tag. It can be more expensive to cater to a larger number of guests, and you may have to deal with the stress of a restrictive guest list. Additionally, some venues may not be able to accommodate a large number of people, limiting your options.

On the other hand, a small wedding can be more intimate and personalized. You'll have more time to spend with your favourite people and can focus on creating a meaningful experience for your guests. Small weddings are generally more affordable, giving you the opportunity to splurge on other aspects like the venue or entertainment.

But small weddings also come with their own set of challenges. You may have to deal with questions and concerns from friends and family who don't understand your decision for an intimate gathering. Creating a guest list can be difficult, as you may have to make tough choices about who to invite. Additionally, a very small guest list may limit your venue options, as some places have strict capacity rules.

Ultimately, the decision to have a big or small wedding depends on your personal preferences and what you value most for your special day.

Characteristics Values
Number of guests A small wedding typically has 30-60 guests, while a very small or "micro" wedding has 20 or fewer guests. An average-sized wedding has 75-150 guests, and a large wedding has more than 150 guests.
Budget A smaller wedding is generally less expensive, giving you more room in your budget to splurge on other areas, like a unique venue or entertainment.
Venue options A small wedding opens up more venue options, including private villas, quaint B&Bs, boutique hotels, and restaurants.
Guest list restrictions A small wedding requires you to make difficult decisions about who to invite and may lead to offending people who aren't invited.
Intimacy A small wedding allows for more quality time with loved ones and creates a more intimate and meaningful experience for both the couple and the guests.
Planning ease A small wedding is generally easier to plan, with fewer logistics to consider and less stress over seating plans and other details.
Personalization A small wedding gives you more flexibility to personalize every detail, from the music to the menu, and create a one-of-a-kind experience.
Activities A small wedding provides more opportunities for interactive activities, such as an interactive drink display or a live chef demonstration during cocktail hour.

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Budgeting: Spend less overall or splurge on top-shelf items

When it comes to budgeting for a wedding, there are two main approaches: spending less overall or splurging on top-shelf items. Here are some things to consider for both options:

Spending Less Overall

If you're looking to keep costs down, a small wedding is usually more budget-friendly. With fewer guests, you'll spend less on catering, drinks, and rentals. This option also gives you more flexibility with your venue, as you don't need to worry about capacity restrictions. Intimate weddings tend to be less expensive overall, allowing you to allocate your budget differently. For example, you might be able to afford that dream venue or a designer dress with the money you save.

Small weddings also shine when it comes to personalisation. You can focus on unique details, like handmade invitations or favours, without breaking the bank. Every aspect of your wedding can be tailored to your tastes, from the music to the menu.

Splurging on Top-Shelf Items

On the other hand, if you have your heart set on certain luxurious elements, a smaller guest list can free up your budget to make those top-shelf items a reality. Perhaps you've always dreamed of a tropical destination wedding or wanted to treat your guests to a five-star dining experience. With fewer mouths to feed, you can afford to elevate your offerings.

A smaller wedding also gives you the opportunity to go all out with your decorations and activities. Make a statement with an interactive cocktail hour or wow your guests with a fireworks display. With a more intimate setting, you can create a truly personalised and memorable experience for your loved ones.

Key Considerations

Whether you're aiming to spend less overall or splurge on specific items, here are some key considerations:

  • Venue: Smaller weddings open up a world of non-traditional venue options, from restaurants to private villas.
  • Guest list management: Be prepared to make tough decisions about who to invite, especially if you're keeping it intimate.
  • Budget allocation: Decide what's most important to you and allocate your funds accordingly. This might include a live band, an open bar, or a top-notch photographer.
  • Time and energy: A smaller wedding can save you time and energy in the planning process, as there are generally fewer logistics to manage.
  • Atmosphere: Consider the atmosphere you want to create. Large weddings tend to be more lively and electric, while small weddings offer a cozier, more intimate vibe.

Ultimately, the decision to spend less overall or splurge on top-shelf items depends on your priorities and what will make your day special. Both approaches can result in a meaningful and memorable celebration.

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Guest list: Unlimited or restricted

The number of people you invite to your wedding is a key consideration when planning your big day. There are benefits to both unlimited and restricted guest lists, and ultimately, the decision comes down to your personal preference and what you and your partner envision for your wedding. Here are some factors to consider when deciding whether to have an unlimited or restricted guest list:

Unlimited Guest List:

  • No restrictions: With an unlimited guest list, you have the freedom to invite as many people as you want. This option is ideal if you have a large family or circle of friends, as it eliminates the need to make difficult choices about who to invite.
  • Electric atmosphere: Bigger weddings tend to have a more celebratory and lively atmosphere. The buzz of excitement from a large number of guests can create a memorable and festive ambiance.
  • Accommodating for all: An unlimited guest list means you can easily accommodate plus-ones, children, and other guests who may not have made the cut on a restricted list. This option ensures that no one feels left out.
  • Easier to meet minimum spends: A larger headcount can help you meet any minimum requirements set by venues or suppliers. It may also give you more flexibility with dates, locations, and other details.
  • More helping hands: A big wedding means a larger support network to delegate tasks to. You may also discover hidden talents among your guests, making the planning process lighter and more enjoyable.

Restricted Guest List:

  • Intimacy and connection: A restricted guest list allows for a more intimate wedding, fostering deeper connections with your loved ones. You'll have more time to spend with your favourite people, creating meaningful memories.
  • Easier planning: Planning a wedding with a restricted guest list is generally simpler, with fewer logistics to manage. There are fewer considerations regarding seating plans, parking, and other practicalities.
  • Prioritise quality: With a smaller guest list, you can prioritise quality over quantity. You may have more room in your budget to splurge on other aspects of the wedding, such as a unique venue, personalised details, or a luxurious honeymoon.
  • Personalisation: A restricted guest list allows for a highly personalised wedding. From music to menus, you can tailor every detail to the tastes of your guests, creating a one-of-a-kind experience.
  • DIY opportunities: A smaller wedding often means more opportunities for DIY projects. Whether it's handmade invitations or thank-you gifts, crafting in smaller quantities can be enjoyable and satisfying.

Ultimately, the decision to have an unlimited or restricted guest list depends on your vision for your wedding day. Consider the type of experience you want, the size of your desired venue, and your budget. By weighing the pros and cons of each option, you can make an informed choice that aligns with your dreams for your special day.

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Venue: More options with a smaller guest list

A smaller guest list opens up a world of possibilities for your wedding venue. From boutique hotels to private villas, quaint B&Bs, and even your own backyard, a smaller wedding means you can get creative and choose a space that truly reflects your style and personality.

More Venue Options to Choose From

With a smaller guest list, you're not limited to large, traditional wedding venues. You can explore unique and intimate spaces that might not be able to accommodate a large number of people. This could include restaurants, family homes, Airbnbs, or small spaces within larger venues, such as libraries, courtyards, or galleries.

Increased Flexibility and Personalization

Smaller venues often offer more flexibility in terms of arrangements and suppliers. You may have the freedom to choose your own caterers, decorators, and other suppliers, allowing you to personalize every detail of your special day. This also gives you the opportunity to support small businesses or work with up-and-coming vendors.

Exclusive Use of the Venue

When you book a small venue, you often get exclusive use of the space, meaning you won't have to share it with other functions or guests. This ensures that you and your guests have a private and intimate celebration without any disturbances. It also means you can fully customize the space to your liking without having to worry about accommodating other events.

Cost Savings and Budget Flexibility

While the cost per head may be higher at small venues, having a smaller guest list can result in significant cost savings overall. This frees up your budget, allowing you to splurge on other aspects of your wedding, such as decorations, catering, entertainment, or a dream honeymoon. It also gives you the flexibility to allocate your budget according to your priorities.

A Cozy and Relaxed Atmosphere

Small venues offer a cozy and relaxed atmosphere, making your guests feel right at home. Instead of a large, impersonal ballroom, a smaller venue provides a romantic and intimate setting for you and your loved ones to celebrate. This cozy atmosphere can enhance the overall experience for both you and your guests, creating lasting memories.

When deciding on a venue for your small wedding, consider the number of guests you plan to invite, your budget, and the level of personalization you desire. By choosing a smaller guest list, you open up a world of possibilities for your venue, allowing you to create a wedding that truly reflects your style and vision.

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Intimacy: Spend more time with your favourite people

When it comes to your wedding, one of the most important factors to consider is how much quality time you'll get to spend with your favourite people. If having intimate moments and deep conversations with your closest friends and family is a priority, a small wedding might be the better choice.

A smaller guest list means more time for each guest. You can move away from the traditional format of a wedding reception, where the couple circulates among guests, and instead, create opportunities for more meaningful interactions. Think about how you can facilitate deeper connections and create an atmosphere where guests feel comfortable sharing stories, memories, and well-wishes. This might include hosting a more informal gathering, encouraging guests to participate in activities or games, or even just ensuring there's enough time built into the schedule for spontaneous conversations and moments of connection.

With a smaller wedding, you also have the flexibility to choose a more unique or intimate venue. Consider a space that fosters closeness, whether it's a cosy restaurant, a rustic barn, or even your own backyard. By choosing a venue that feels warm and inviting, you'll create an environment that encourages guests to relax and engage with one another. Perhaps there's a special place that holds meaning for you and your partner, or maybe you want to select a venue that aligns with a shared hobby or interest, such as a winery or a historic library.

Another advantage of a smaller wedding is the potential for cost savings, which can be redirected to enhance the guest experience. You might be able to splurge on a nicer venue, offer a more personalised menu, or provide unique favours or gifts for your guests. For example, you could hire a food truck that serves your favourite cuisine or create customised welcome bags with items that reflect your interests and personalities. These thoughtful touches will not only make your guests feel valued but will also contribute to the overall intimacy of the event.

Ultimately, a small wedding allows you to focus on creating meaningful moments and building lasting memories with your favourite people. By prioritising intimacy, you can ensure that your wedding day is filled with love, laughter, and genuine connections that will be cherished for years to come. This approach not only makes your celebration unique and special but also aligns with the true essence of a wedding—celebrating your love alongside the people who matter most.

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Planning: Easier with a smaller guest list

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and time-consuming process. If you're looking to make the process easier, consider opting for a smaller guest list.

With a smaller guest list, you'll have fewer logistics to worry about. You won't have to worry about whether there's enough parking, seating arrangements, or other details that can become overwhelming when planning for a large group.

A smaller guest list also gives you more flexibility with your venue choices. You can choose a quaint bed and breakfast, a private villa, or even a family home without having to worry about venue capacity. This can also be a more cost-effective option, as renting a smaller venue is usually less expensive.

Additionally, with a smaller guest list, you can spend more time with your favourite people. You won't feel rushed to fulfil social obligations and can ditch the strict schedule, allowing you to be more present and enjoy meaningful connections with your closest friends and family.

If you're crafty, a smaller guest list gives you the opportunity to DIY your heart out. Whether it's making your own invitations or creating personalised gifts, crafting in smaller quantities keeps the enthusiasm high and reduces the risk of glue gun meltdowns!

Finally, a smaller guest list allows you to prioritise quality over quantity. You can splurge on a top-shelf open bar, a unique venue, or amazing entertainment. You can also allocate more of your budget to other areas, such as a live band, a designer dress, or a decadent meal.

Frequently asked questions

A big wedding means no restrictions on your guest list, a guaranteed lively atmosphere and a buzz of excitement. You'll also find it easier to meet minimum spends and there will be many helping hands.

A small wedding allows you to spend more time with your favourite people, and gives you more room in your budget to splurge on other areas. It will also be easier to plan, and you can prioritise quality over quantity.

There is no "one size fits all" scale when it comes to a wedding guest list. Different amounts of attendees will feel right to different people. A good rule of thumb is that a small wedding has fewer than 50 guests, an intimate wedding has between 50 and 75, and a large wedding has more than 150.

A big wedding will likely be more expensive, and you may find your venue options are more limited. You may also have to deal with questions from friends and family members who don't understand your desire for a large celebration.

You may find it difficult to restrict your guest list to a small number, and risk offending people who aren't invited. You may also have fewer venues to choose from, as many have strict capacity rules.

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