Ring Bearer: Wedding Must-Have Or Nice To Have?

Do you need to have a ring bearer at your wedding? The short answer is no. While it's true that a ring bearer is responsible for carrying the couple's wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony, they are not necessary to get you formally hitched.

If you're having a kid-free wedding, it might be best to leave out a ring bearer (and flower girl) altogether, as having them participate when no other children are allowed might offend some parents. If you don't know many children, you also don't need to include them.

However, if you do have kids in your life that you want to include, a ring bearer is a sweet way to involve them in your special day.

Not necessary for the wedding to be official

A ring bearer is not necessary for your wedding to be official. The role of the ring bearer is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony, but if you choose not to have one, there are other options for getting the rings to the altar.

One option is to have the best man hold on to the rings until the ceremony. He can keep them in his jacket pocket and still walk down the aisle in style with the maid of honour on his arm. Another option is to have the maid of honour carry the rings.

If you do decide to have a ring bearer, it's important to consider their age and maturity level when deciding whether to give them the real wedding rings or fake ones. You may also want to ask your wedding planner or a member of your wedding party to hand the rings to the ring bearer right before the ceremony starts to reduce the risk of them being lost.

Additionally, keep in mind that the ring bearer's parents are typically responsible for explaining the ring bearer's duties to their child, paying for their outfit and accessories, and attending all of the pre-wedding festivities and arriving early on the wedding day.

Can be replaced by the best man

While the role of the ring bearer is a long-standing tradition, it is not a mandatory part of the wedding ceremony. Couples may choose to forgo this role for a variety of reasons, including budget constraints, the absence of young children in their lives, or simply a desire to keep the wedding party small.

If you decide not to have a ring bearer, the best man can take on the responsibility of holding and presenting the rings during the ceremony. This is a common practice, as the best man already has the important duty of keeping the wedding rings safe in the lead-up to the wedding. By entrusting the best man with the rings, you can ensure that they are securely transported down the aisle and safely returned to you and your partner during the exchange of vows.

In some cases, couples may choose to have a ring bearer but prefer to have the best man hold the actual rings. This is often done when the ring bearer is a young child, as it can be risky to entrust expensive jewelry to someone so young. The ring bearer can still participate in the ceremony by carrying a pillow, box, or even fake rings, adding a cute and symbolic touch to the proceedings.

Ultimately, the decision to include a ring bearer or not is entirely up to you and your partner. Whether you choose to have a traditional ring bearer, opt for the best man to take on this role, or come up with a creative alternative, the important thing is to personalize your wedding in a way that feels right for you.

Carry fake rings for safety

If you're worried about the safety of your rings, you can always opt for fake rings for your ring bearer to carry. This is a common practice, as it gives you peace of mind and ensures the real rings are safe. You can tie plastic rings to a ribbon on the pillow for the full effect, or choose from a variety of fake ring options available in the market.

When selecting a fake ring, consider the age and maturity level of the ring bearer. If they are very young, it might be best to go with a simple option that is less likely to be mistaken for the real thing. You can find affordable fake rings made from materials like cubic zirconia or moissanite that look realistic but won't break the bank.

Additionally, you can explore creative alternatives to the traditional ring bearer pillow. For example, secure the fake rings to a ribbon tied around your favourite poem or scripture, place them in a bouquet, or have the ring bearer carry a briefcase that says "Ring Security".

Remember, the most important thing is to ensure the safety of your rings and the comfort of the ring bearer. By providing them with a fake ring to carry, you can achieve both!

Parents pay for their attire

While having a ring bearer is not necessary, they are a very cute addition to your wedding party. If you do decide to have a ring bearer, it is customary for their parents to pay for their attire. However, you may choose to purchase their outfit as a gift, especially if you want them to wear something expensive. It is also a thoughtful gesture to give a ring bearer gift, such as a DIY terrarium, a stuffed animal, or a giant bubble kit.

It is important to discuss attire expectations with the parents of the ring bearer. You may give them guidance on the outfit or choose the exact outfit yourself. It is also a good idea to bring up the topic of payment when asking for permission for the child to be in your wedding, to avoid any misunderstandings.

If you are concerned about the cost, there are ways to save money. For example, you could offer to pay for the ring bearer's attire if their parents can cover the cost of their hair being done. Alternatively, you could provide the ring bearer with a wedding day gift instead of an outfit, such as a robe or a hanger with their name on it.

Remember, the most important thing is to ensure that the ring bearer feels included and valued as part of your special day.

Can be a girl or a boy

While the role of ring bearer is often given to a boy, it can absolutely be a girl. The role of the ring bearer is to carry the wedding rings down the aisle during the ceremony. This role is not necessary to get you formally hitched, but it is a way to include young ones in your family in your wedding. If you don't know many children, you don't need to include a ring bearer.

The ring bearer is usually a child between the ages of 3 and 10, but can be younger if they are escorted down the aisle by a parent or another older child. If the ring bearer is old enough to walk on their own, they should head down the aisle after the wedding party and deliver the rings to the best man or wedding officiant. If the ring bearer is not old enough to walk, their parent or another older child can carry them during the processional, or pull them down the aisle in a wagon or small car.

If you are worried about the ring bearer losing the rings, most couples choose to have the best man carry the real rings on him as a precaution. The ring bearer can then carry fake rings on a pillow, or simply an empty pillow or decorative sign.

If you do choose to have a ring bearer, it is customary for their parents to pay for their outfit and accessories, and to attend all of the pre-wedding festivities.

Frequently asked questions