Wedding Invitation Etiquette For Couples: One Or Two?

When it comes to wedding invitations, couples often wonder if they should send one or two invites to guests who are in a relationship. While there are no set rules, wedding etiquette suggests that married, engaged, and cohabitating guests traditionally receive a joint invitation. This is usually addressed to both individuals on the outer and inner envelopes, with the inner envelope specifying and guest if the couple is unmarried.

It is also common courtesy to extend plus-one invitations to wedding party members and outlier guests who won't know many other attendees. Ultimately, the decision depends on the couple's budget, venue capacity, and their vision for the day.

Married, engaged, and cohabiting guests traditionally receive a plus-one

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, the general rule of thumb is that married, engaged, and cohabiting guests traditionally receive a plus-one. This means that spouses, fiancés, and live-in partners of each guest should be included in the invitation. Even if the couple getting married has never met the partner or they are not particularly close to them, it is still considered good manners to extend the invitation to them as well.

This rule applies regardless of the gender of the couple and can be adapted to suit different living situations. For example, if a married couple shares the same last name, the outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]," while the inner envelope can simply say "Mr. and Mrs." or use their first names. If a couple has different last names, their names can be written on the same line with the woman's name first, or listed separately if the combined names are too long. In the case of a spouse with a hyphenated last name, the outer envelope can include both names, while the inner envelope can use just the last name.

It is also important to note that this rule about plus-ones extends beyond the guests to include the wedding party and other key figures in the ceremony. For example, the spouse or significant other of the officiant should be invited, as well as both parents of ring bearers and flower girls.

While there is flexibility in how invitations are worded and addressed, the key principle is to ensure that married, engaged, and cohabiting guests feel welcomed and valued by recognising their relationship status. This is considered a fundamental aspect of wedding invitation etiquette and is a way to show respect and appreciation to those invited to share in the special day.

Everyone in the bridal party should receive a plus-one

Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and one of the most important considerations is the guest list. When it comes to the bridal party, there is a general consensus that everyone in the bridal party should receive a plus-one. Here are some reasons why this is a good idea and how to go about it.

Firstly, it is important to recognise the time, effort, and financial commitment that the bridal party has made to be a part of your special day. They have likely spent a significant amount of money on attire, lodging, transportation, and other expenses. Offering them a plus-one is a small token of appreciation for their dedication and support. It is a way to say "thank you" for their presence and participation in all the wedding-related events and activities.

Secondly, allowing the bridal party to bring a plus-one can enhance their enjoyment of the wedding. It can be awkward and lonely to attend a wedding alone, especially if they are the only member of the bridal party who doesn't know anyone else. By offering a plus-one, you give them the opportunity to share this experience with someone they care about and ensure they have a more enjoyable time.

When deciding on the plus-ones for the bridal party, it is essential to be consistent. If one member of the bridal party is offered a plus-one, it is only fair that everyone else in the bridal party is offered the same. This avoids any feelings of favouritism and ensures that everyone feels valued and appreciated.

To notify your bridal party about the plus-ones, it is best to include this information on the invitation. Traditionally, this is done by addressing the outer envelope to the recipient and listing the names of those invited, including plus-ones, on the inner envelope. However, with modern invitations, you can simply address all invitees clearly and upfront, listing the names of both members of a couple or indicating a plus-one with "and guest".

Keep in mind that not all members of the bridal party may choose to bring a plus-one, especially if they don't have a significant other or prefer to attend solo. Respect their decision and don't force them to bring a date if they are more comfortable without one.

In conclusion, offering a plus-one to the bridal party is a courteous and thoughtful gesture. It shows your appreciation for their time and effort and ensures that they feel supported and included in your special day. By being consistent and clear in your invitations, you can make sure that everyone in the bridal party feels valued and celebrated.

For additional guests, have clear criteria

Deciding on a guest list for your wedding can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to plus-ones. It's important to establish clear criteria to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

• Be Consistent: Establish clear and consistent criteria for offering plus-ones. For example, you might decide that all members of the bridal party or immediate family receive a plus-one, regardless of their relationship status. This avoids any perception of favouritism.
• Consider Your Budget and Venue Capacity: Weddings are expensive, and each additional guest increases the cost. If your budget is limited, you may need to be more selective about who receives a plus-one. Similarly, your venue may have capacity restrictions, limiting the number of guests you can invite.
• Evaluate Social Dynamics: Think about how your guests will interact and the overall atmosphere you want to create. You might consider allowing plus-ones for guests who won't know many other attendees, ensuring they feel comfortable and welcomed.
• Manage Expectations: Communicate your criteria clearly to your guests. Be transparent about who is and isn't offered a plus-one to avoid any misunderstandings. This can be done through your wedding website, invitations, or personal conversations.
• Be Flexible: While having clear criteria is important, remain open to exceptions. For example, if a guest has recently started dating someone and wants to bring them, consider accommodating their request if it doesn't cause significant issues with your budget or venue capacity.
• Seek Feedback: Discuss your criteria with your partner, family, or wedding party. They may offer valuable insights or perspectives that you hadn't considered.
• Be Mindful of Seating Arrangements: When creating your seating chart, aim to seat solo guests with people they know or friendly couples to ensure they feel included. Avoid placing them between couples or in an uncomfortable situation.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and surrounding yourself with the people who matter to you. By establishing clear criteria for plus-ones, you can ensure that your guest list reflects your priorities and creates a memorable celebration.

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Traditionally, the inner and outer envelopes follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope is typically more formal, and there are a few options for how to address it:

• For a heterosexual couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name, followed by the wife's first name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" or "Mr. and Mrs. Michelle Warren".
• If the couple is sensitive to the idea of the wife's name being left out, you can include her name in the address: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format used on the outer envelope. For example:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Warren"
• "Thomas and Michelle"

If you are only using one envelope (an outer envelope) for your invitations, all invited parties should be clearly stated on the front.

How to address wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the outer envelope (the one that will be seen by the post office) and the inner envelope (which goes inside the outer envelope) follow different etiquette rules.

For the outer envelope, it is best to write out the couple's full names, including their personal titles. For a heterosexual couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If their combined names are too long to fit on one line, list them separately. Here is an example:

"Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

For the inner envelope, you can be more informal. You can choose to include personal titles and last names or just use first names. Here are some examples:

"Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you are addressing a same-sex married couple with different last names, either name can go first. For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Adam Johnson and Mr. Luke Johnson"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Adam Johnson and Mr. Luke Johnson" or "Adam and Luke"

It is also important to consider the couple's preferences and honour any requests they may have regarding the format of their names.

Frequently asked questions