Who Can Be A Bridesmaid? Marital Status Explained

There is a long-standing tradition that bridesmaids should be unmarried, but this is not a rule that needs to be followed today. Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party at some Western traditional wedding ceremonies. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman and often the bride's close friend or relative. In Western tradition, there are several positions that a woman can take in the party of the bride: she can be a bridesmaid, a maid of honour, or a matron of honour. The term matron of honour is often used to refer to an attendant who is married, while maid of honour typically refers to an unmarried principal bridesmaid. However, this tradition is not widely observed in modern times, and it is common for brides to choose their closest friends or relatives to be bridesmaids, regardless of their marital status.

Can married women be bridesmaids?

In Western tradition, there are several positions that a woman can take in the party of the bride: she can be a bridesmaid, which means she is any of the attendants, a maid of honour if she is the principal unmarried bridesmaid with more duties, or a matron of honour if she is the principal bridesmaid who is married.

The idea that a bride needs to be surrounded by unmarried women is an old custom, and unless all your closest friends are unwed, it might as well stay that way. There's no reason you can't ask a married friend to be a bridesmaid. In fact, many brides choose to have their married sisters or close friends as their matron of honour or bridesmaid.

The definition of a bridesmaid is:

> a woman who is an attendant of a bride.

By definition, a bridesmaid does not have to be unmarried. Further, in common practice, a bridesmaid need not be unmarried.

The only time the title changes is when the maid of honour is married—then it becomes the matron of honour.

What is the origin of the tradition?

The tradition of having bridesmaids at weddings likely arose from a combination of socioeconomic class and status, family size, the socialisation standards of the day, and religion.

In ancient times, the bride and all the bridesmaids wore the same dress and heavily veiled their faces to confuse jealous suitors and evil spirits. In feudal China, bridesmaids dressed like the bride to protect her from being identified and kidnapped by rival clans and hooligans. As legal protections for marriage were established, the role of the bridesmaid became more symbolic.

In Western tradition, there are several positions that a woman can take in the party of the bride. She can be a bridesmaid, which means she is one of the attendants, a maid of honour if she is the principal unmarried bridesmaid with more duties, or a matron of honour if she is the principal bridesmaid and married.

In the past, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age. The idea was that if the bride were to become unavailable on the day of her wedding, the groom was expected to wed the next available bridesmaid. However, this tradition is now considered ancient history and is no longer commonly practised.

What is the definition of a bridesmaid?

A bridesmaid is a woman who is an attendant of a bride. She is typically a young woman and often a close friend or relative of the bride. Bridesmaids are usually chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age, though this is not a requirement. The principal bridesmaid may be called the chief bridesmaid, or the maid of honour if she is unmarried, or the matron of honour if she is married.

In modern times, the bride chooses how many bridesmaids to ask, and many modern couples do not have bridesmaids or groomsmen at all. The male equivalent of a bridesmaid is a groomsman, or an usher in British English.

In some cultures, it is customary for bridesmaids to be young girls rather than grown women. In modern English-speaking countries, this role is separate from that of the bridesmaid, and the child performing it is known as a flower girl.

The duties of a bridesmaid are very limited. They are required to attend the wedding ceremony and to assist the bride on the day of the wedding. In Europe and North America, bridesmaids are often asked to help the bride with planning the wedding and reception.

What are the duties of a bridesmaid?

There are no set guidelines for the role of a bridesmaid, and the role can vary depending on the bride's preferences. However, here is a list of common duties and responsibilities for a bridesmaid:

Pre-Wedding Duties:

• Plan and attend pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
• Help with wedding planning tasks, such as addressing invitations, stuffing envelopes, and easy DIY projects.
• Attend any other pre-wedding events, such as engagement parties or couples' showers.
• Book travel and hotel reservations for the wedding.
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Provide emotional support to the bride and help manage any stress.
• Shop for and pay for bridesmaid attire.
• Buy a wedding gift for the couple.

Wedding Day Duties:

• Get ready with the bride and assist her with any needs, such as answering calls or texts, ensuring she eats and stays hydrated, and helping her with her dress, shoes, jewellery, or veil.
• Assist the maid of honour with any tasks.
• Provide snacks for the bridal party while getting ready.
• Participate in the ceremony by walking down the aisle and standing at the altar with the bride.
• Be photo-ready and participate in group portraits.
• Mingle with guests, enjoy the food and drinks, and participate in guest activities, such as signing the guest book or visiting a photo booth.
• Check in with the newlyweds to ensure they are well taken care of and have enough food and drinks.
• Help with any outfit changes or bathroom breaks.
• Assist with the send-off by gathering items that need to be transported out of the reception venue and ensuring guests depart safely.

Post-Wedding Duties:

• Attend any post-wedding events, such as a farewell party or post-wedding brunch.
• Organise and return any miscellaneous or leftover wedding items.
• Settle any outstanding payments or bills.

It is important to note that while these are common duties, they are not mandatory, and each bride may have different expectations. Open communication is essential to ensure that both the bridesmaids and the bride are comfortable with the responsibilities and associated costs.

What are some modern alternatives?

While the traditional role of a bridesmaid was to be an unmarried, young woman of marriageable age, modern wedding parties are not bound by such conventions. Here are some alternatives to the traditional bridesmaid:

• Including married friends: It is now common for bridesmaids to be chosen regardless of their marital status. The idea that a bride should only be surrounded by unmarried women is considered outdated, and many brides opt to include married friends as bridesmaids. In fact, some sources suggest that the only time the title of a bridesmaid changes based on marital status is when the maid of honour is married; in this case, she becomes a matron of honour.
• Male bridesmaids: Another modern twist is to include male friends or family members in the bridal party. They may be referred to as "bridesmen" or "men of honour". This can be a great way to involve the bride's male friends or relatives in the wedding celebrations.
• Age is just a number: While bridesmaids were traditionally young women, modern brides are breaking with convention and including bridesmaids of all ages. This could mean having a special role for a beloved grandmother or aunt, or even including the bride's own mother as a bridesmaid!
• Mixing things up with the wedding party: Some couples choose to mix up the traditional wedding party by having the bride's attendants walk down the aisle with the groomsmen, or vice versa. This can be a fun way to shake things up and ensure that everyone feels included, regardless of gender.
• Doing away with the bridal party altogether: Some modern couples opt to forgo the bridal party entirely, eliminating the associated expenses and logistical challenges. This can be a practical choice, especially for those planning a small or intimate wedding.

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