Bridesmaids' Post-Wedding Cleanup: Who's Responsible For The Mess?

It is a well-known fact that weddings require a lot of planning and coordination. From the food and decor to the guest list and venue, there are numerous details to consider. One aspect that is often discussed is the role of the bridal party, specifically the bridesmaids, in the cleanup process after the wedding. While some people argue that it is common courtesy for bridesmaids to lend a helping hand, others believe that it is not their responsibility. So, what is the general consensus on this topic?

Should bridesmaids be expected to clean up?

There are differing opinions on whether bridesmaids should be expected to clean up after a wedding. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of the venue staff or hired help to clean up, while others argue that it is an unwritten rule that bridesmaids should help where they can, including with the cleanup.

Those who believe that bridesmaids should not be expected to clean up argue that it is the couple's responsibility to either clean up themselves or hire someone to do it. They suggest that bridesmaids are guests of honor and not servants. It is also noted that it is unfair to expect bridesmaids to be responsible for cleaning up, especially if they have been drinking or are tired from the long day. Additionally, there may be financial implications if rented items are missing or damaged, which is an unfair burden to place on a bridesmaid.

On the other hand, some people argue that it is normal and expected for bridesmaids to help with the cleanup, especially at lower-budget weddings or DIY weddings. They suggest that it is a way for bridesmaids to support the couple and make their day special. It is also noted that it can be a fun group effort, with family and friends chipping in to help.

Ultimately, the expectations of the bridesmaids should be communicated and agreed upon in advance. It is important to have an honest discussion about what tasks the bride may need help with and allow the bridesmaids to choose whether or not they are comfortable taking on those tasks. This way, everyone is on the same page and there are no surprises on the day of the wedding.

While there are valid arguments on both sides, it is essential to remember that the role of a bridesmaid is to support the bride and that does not necessarily include cleaning up after the wedding. It is up to the couple to decide whether they want or need help with the cleanup and to communicate their expectations clearly to the bridal party.

Should bridesmaids be asked to clean up?

Asking bridesmaids to help with the clean-up after a wedding is a controversial topic. Some people believe that it is the responsibility of the venue staff, or hired cleaners, to take care of the clean-up, while others argue that it is reasonable to expect bridesmaids to lend a hand.

Those who believe that bridesmaids should not be asked to clean up argue that they are honoured guests, not servants. They suggest that if a bridesmaid wants to help, it should be her choice, and that any expectations of helping with clean-up should be communicated upfront when the bride first asks the person to be a bridesmaid. It is also noted that it is unfair to expect bridesmaids to be responsible for cleaning up rental items or ensuring that nothing goes missing, as they may have been drinking or could have an emergency.

On the other hand, some people argue that it is reasonable to ask bridesmaids for a favour, especially if they are close friends or family members. They suggest that it is common for friends and family to help each other out, and that it is a nice gesture for bridesmaids to offer to help with clean-up, especially if the wedding is on a budget. It is also noted that it can be fun for the bridal party to make a little party out of the clean-up.

To avoid any resentment or hard feelings, it is generally recommended that the bride communicate her expectations clearly and respectfully to the bridal party upfront, and that she should not demand that they help with clean-up, but rather ask if they are willing to do so. It is also important to consider the extent of the clean-up that would be required of the bridesmaids, as there is a big difference between packing up gifts and centrepieces, and mopping the floor or washing dishes.

What are the bride and groom's responsibilities?

While the bride and groom's main responsibility is to get married, there are many other planning decisions to be made. It is ideal for the couple to work together on these decisions to share the workload and ensure both parties are happy with the plans. Here is a list of the bride and groom's responsibilities:

Joint Responsibilities:

• Choose the date, style, and site for the wedding.
• Meet with the officiant to discuss details.
• Coordinate invites, flowers, and photographer.
• Shop for wedding bands (traditionally, each pays for the other's).
• Write their wedding vows if they choose to.
• Send thank-you notes for all gifts.

Bride's Responsibilities:

• Plan and host the bridesmaids' luncheon.
• Choose her bridesmaids and honour attendant.
• Give her attendants thank-you gifts and buy a gift for the groom.

Groom's Responsibilities:

• Choose his groomsmen and best man and pick their attire.
• Buy thank-you gifts for his attendants and the bride.
• Arrange and pay for the marriage license and officiant's fee.
• Reserve a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.

In addition, the bride and groom are each traditionally responsible for compiling their respective family guest lists.

It is worth noting that while these are traditional roles, modern weddings may vary, and it is essential for the couple to communicate their expectations clearly with their wedding party.

Regarding cleanup after the wedding, it is generally not expected for bridesmaids to clean up unless previously communicated and agreed upon. The venue staff, hired help, or family and friends usually handle the cleanup.

What are the responsibilities of the venue staff?

The responsibilities of venue staff can vary depending on the specific venue and the services they offer. Here is a list of common duties handled by venue staff:

• Supervising and coordinating the many departments and staff members involved in making an event successful. This includes managing communication between the kitchen and reception staff, as well as directing vendors and other hired help.
• Setting up the venue, including arranging tables, chairs, linens, and other basic wedding items. They may also be in charge of setting up more personalised items, such as escort cards, centrepieces, and the bride's dress for the bustling.
• Ensuring the needs of the couple, bridal party, and family are met. This includes making sure they are well-fed and have plenty to eat and drink throughout the event.
• Managing the flow of the meal throughout the night, including assigning table orders and meal delivery to the wait staff, keeping the chef on time, and addressing any meal-related issues.
• Handling the breakdown and clean-up of the venue after the event, which may include packing up decorations, gifts, and other items, as well as general cleaning and garbage removal.

It is important to note that the level of service provided by venue staff can differ depending on the venue and the package chosen by the couple. Some venues may only provide basic setup and cleanup services, while others may offer more comprehensive support. Additionally, some couples choose to hire an additional day-of coordinator to ensure that all the wedding details are handled according to their specific preferences.

In terms of cleanup, while venue staff often handle the majority of the tasks, it is not uncommon for bridal party members or family to pitch in, especially for more DIY or budget weddings. However, it is generally considered rude for the couple to expect or require their bridal party to clean up without prior communication and agreement.

What are the responsibilities of the wedding coordinator?

A wedding coordinator is responsible for overseeing the logistics of a wedding, ensuring that the event progresses according to plan and alleviating stress for the couple. Coordinators often start working with the couple a month or two before the wedding and are the point of contact for all vendors.

• Meeting with the couple a few weeks before the wedding to establish expectations and create a timeline and floor plans.
• Communicating with vendors to confirm logistics, review contracts, and address any overlooked details.
• Completing a final check of the venues for the ceremony and reception.
• Managing the rehearsal and overseeing all aspects of the wedding day.
• Informing the couple, photographer, and band or DJ of the scheduled events, such as the grand entrance, cake cutting, and first dance.
• Ensuring everyone is in place when it's time to start the ceremony and that guests receive proper treatment.
• Creating a detailed timeline for the day and ensuring everyone sticks to it. For example, if hair and makeup are taking longer than expected, the coordinator will step in to speed up the process.
• Acting as the primary point of contact for all wedding vendors and overseeing their work.
• Troubleshooting any problems that arise on the day of or before the wedding, such as a vendor arriving late or a power outage.
• Helping to set up decor and personal items and running errands for the couple.
• Assisting with the breakdown of the reception after the couple and guests depart.
• Working with the couple to select a responsible individual to handle and transport wedding gifts.
• Ensuring the wedding party has all their belongings before departing the venue.

Frequently asked questions