Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a big financial commitment. Aside from the cost of the bridesmaid's dress, travel, and accommodation, there is an expectation for bridesmaids to bring or send a gift to the bride. But is this expectation fair, and should bridesmaids have to buy the bride a present?
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Should bridesmaids buy the bride a gift? | It is customary to give the bride a gift, even if you're a member of the wedding party. However, it is not obligatory and some brides choose to waive this expectation. |
Average gift price range | $100 to $150 |
Gift ideas | Monogrammed pillows, photo in a flower-stuffed frame, lingerie, sleepwear, toasting flutes, cake knife and serving set, handwritten card, etc. |
What You'll Learn
Should bridesmaids give a gift?
Being a bridesmaid is a big honor, but it can also be a big financial commitment. There are lots of expenses to consider, like the dress, accessories, hair, makeup, travel, and accommodation. So, it's understandable that you might wonder if you need to buy the bride a gift on top of all that.
Wedding gifts for the bride
According to standard etiquette rules, bridesmaids should plan on giving the bride a wedding gift. This could be something from the registry or a thoughtful, meaningful item like monogrammed pillows or a photo in a nice frame. If you're struggling to afford a gift, you can always ask the other bridesmaids to chip in with you, or you could give the bride a handwritten card. One idea is for each bridesmaid to write the bride a letter to open on the morning of the wedding, which is a thoughtful and inexpensive gesture.
Gifts for pre-wedding events
You'll probably be attending several pre-wedding events like the engagement party, bridal shower, and bachelorette party. It's not necessary to bring a gift to every event, but there are certain occasions when a gift is customary.
For the engagement party, a bottle of wine or something to help the couple with their wedding planning is a nice gesture, although it's not required. If you're travelling to the party, there's less expectation that you'll bring a gift.
For the bridal shower, it is customary to bring a gift, but if you're hosting the event, you won't be expected to spend a lot of money on an additional gift.
For the bachelorette party, you won't be expected to bring a gift as you'll already be paying for the event. The exception is if the bachelorette party includes a lingerie shower, in which case you should bring some intimates or sleepwear for the bride.
How much to spend
If you are buying a gift, the recommended spend is $100 to $150, or $100 to $120 according to another source. If you're attending with a plus-one, you might choose to spend more.
Alternatives to gifts
If you can't afford a gift, there are other ways to show your support for the bride. You could offer to help with any wedding planning or tasks, or simply be there to listen and support the bride. You could also pay for some of the bride's wedding costs, like her dress, accessories, hair, or makeup.
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How much should bridesmaids spend on a gift?
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a big financial commitment. On top of the costs of travel, accommodation, and attire, bridesmaids are also expected to buy the bride a gift. But how much should they spend?
According to standard etiquette rules, bridesmaids should expect to spend between $75 to $150 on a wedding gift for the couple. This amount can be adjusted if the bridesmaid is bringing a plus-one, in which case they might spend upwards of $100. If you're hosting the bridal shower, you can probably spend a little less on the gift, and vice versa. If you're unable to stretch to an expensive gift, you could always ask the other bridesmaids to chip in, or go for a thoughtful, handwritten card.
When it comes to pre-wedding events, you may be expected to bring a gift to each one. For the engagement party, a bottle of wine or something to help the couple with their wedding planning is a good idea. For the bridal shower, it's customary to bring a gift from the couple's registry, or something personalised. If the bachelorette party has a lingerie theme, you'll be expected to bring intimates or sleepwear for the bride. However, if you're already paying for the bachelorette party, you're not expected to splash out on another gift on top of that.
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What are some gift ideas for bridesmaids on a budget?
Being a bridesmaid can be an expensive affair, and you might be wondering if you need to buy a gift for the bride on top of your dress, hair, makeup, and accessories. According to wedding etiquette, it is customary to give the bride a gift, even if you're a member of the wedding party. However, if you're on a budget, there are plenty of thoughtful and affordable options to consider. Here are some gift ideas for bridesmaids who want to show their appreciation without breaking the bank:
- Personalized items: A personalized gift is always special and shows that you put thought into it. Ideas include monogrammed keychains, compact mirrors, wooden picture frames, or even a custom illustration of the bridal party.
- Practical gifts: If you want to give something that the bride can use, opt for practical gifts such as a travel jewelry case, a ring dish, or a survival kit with essentials like a manicure set, bobby pins, and oil-absorbing wipes.
- Sentimental gifts: A heartfelt gift that reminds the bride of your friendship is always meaningful. Consider a handwritten card, a photo frame, or a piece of jewelry with a sentimental message.
- Relaxation gifts: Help the bride unwind with relaxation-themed gifts such as a spa gift set, scented candles, or a set of luxurious bath products.
- Experience gifts: Instead of a material gift, you can offer an experience. Plan a girls' night in with a movie or a spa night, or put together a picnic basket for a day out.
- Collaborative gifts: If you're really on a tight budget, consider joining forces with the other bridesmaids to pitch in for a group gift. This way, you can get the bride something special without breaking the bank.
Remember, it's the thought that counts, and the bride will surely appreciate any gift that comes from the heart, regardless of the cost.
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Do bridesmaids need to give a gift at the engagement party?
Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a big responsibility. It is also a costly endeavour, with many expenses to consider, such as the dress, hair, and makeup, travel, and accommodation. So, it is understandable that you may wonder if you need to give a gift at the engagement party on top of all these other costs.
According to wedding etiquette, it is customary to give the bride a gift, even if you are a member of the wedding party. However, this is not a requirement, and there are no hard and fast rules. If you are a bridesmaid, it is likely that the bride is one of your closest friends, and you may want to give her a gift to celebrate this special occasion.
If you decide to give a gift, it is not necessary to spend a lot of money. A small, thoughtful gift will be much appreciated. Something personalised, such as a photo of the duo in a flower-stuffed frame, or a handmade item, is sure to be well-received. If you are travelling to the engagement party, there is less pressure to bring a gift, as you are already spending money on travel and accommodation. A nice bottle of champagne or a personalised coffee mug are also good options.
Being a bridesmaid can be expensive, and it is understandable if you can't afford to give a gift. In this case, a heartfelt card with a handwritten note is a meaningful way to show your support and congratulations. You could also consider pitching in with the other bridesmaids for a group gift.
No, you don't need to give a gift at every pre-wedding event. Each celebration is different, and the expectations may vary. For example, at a bridal shower, it is customary to give a gift, but if you are hosting the event, you are not expected to spend a lot of money on a gift as well. Similarly, if you are planning and paying for the bachelorette party, you are not expected to give an additional gift.
In summary, while it is not necessary to give a gift at the engagement party, if you are a bridesmaid, it is customary to give the bride a gift at some point during the wedding celebrations. This gift can be small and thoughtful, and it is more important to show your support and congratulations to the happy couple.
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What about at the bridal shower?
So, you've been asked to be a bridesmaid and are wondering about the gift-giving etiquette for the bridal shower. It's an honour to be asked, but it can also be a big financial commitment, so it's understandable that you want to get it right.
Firstly, it's important to know that the bridal shower is all about showering the bride with gifts, so it is expected that you will bring a gift. If you are hosting the event or contributing to the costs, you are still expected to bring a gift, but it doesn't have to be an expensive one. If the couple has a wedding registry, you can select a low- to mid-range item from the list. If not, a practical yet personal gift is a good option, such as monogrammed pillows or a photo in a flower-stuffed frame. You could also club together with the other bridesmaids to buy a group gift.
If you are unable to afford a gift, a handwritten card with a heartfelt message is a thoughtful alternative. You could even write the bride a stack of love letters to open on the morning of the wedding.
Remember, it's always the thought that counts, and the bride will appreciate your presence and support on her special day.
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Frequently asked questions
Bridesmaids are expected to buy the bride a gift, even though being a bridesmaid is already expensive. However, if you are unable to, that is okay! Being a bridesmaid is already a gift to the bride.
You can refer to the bride's wedding registry, or pool money with the other bridesmaids to buy a more expensive gift. If you are unable to spend a lot of money, a thoughtful, personalised gift or a handwritten card is also appropriate.
No, you are not expected to bring a gift to every pre-wedding event. However, it is customary to bring a gift to the engagement party, bridal shower and bachelorette party.
It is customary to spend between $100 to $150 on a wedding gift if you are attending solo.