Best Man Speech: To Joke Or Not?

Best man speeches are a staple of wedding celebrations, but do they have to be funny? While it's not a requirement, many best men feel the pressure to deliver a humorous speech that will entertain the guests. However, it's important to remember that the main purpose of the best man's speech is to celebrate the groom and wish the couple well.

A good best man speech should be heartfelt, sincere, and tailored to the couple. It should focus on the groom's positive qualities, highlight his relationship with the bride, and share fond memories or anecdotes that showcase their bond. The key is to strike a balance between humour and sentimentality, avoiding overly embarrassing stories or offensive jokes.

The length of the speech is also crucial. Best man speeches should ideally be kept concise, typically between 3 to 7 minutes, to hold the audience's attention. Practicing and editing the speech beforehand is essential to ensure it stays engaging and on track.

In conclusion, while adding humour to a best man speech can enhance the celebration, it's not a necessity. The most important aspect is to deliver a speech that honours the couple and leaves a lasting impression of warmth and well-wishes.

How to be funny without being mean

Being funny without being mean can be a tricky line to walk. Here are some tips to help you toe that line:

Know your audience

As with all public speaking, it's important to know your audience. What might be funny to one group of people might fall flat or even offend another group. So, if you're giving a best man speech, consider the overall vibe of the wedding and the guests who will be in attendance. Keep the content classy and relatable to all ages. Avoid inside jokes that will alienate people, and definitely don't bring up any embarrassing secrets or ex-partners!

Punch up, not down

Comedy is at its best when it's "punching up." This means addressing larger issues that are out of our control, like death, depression, trauma, or social issues. On the other hand, punching down is bullying and a show of weakness. So, avoid making fun of individuals or groups of people who are marginalised or less powerful than you.

Avoid generalisations

This is Communication 101. Avoid making blanket statements or generalisations, as these can turn people off. Instead, express your perspective and share your stories. This way, you're less likely to offend anyone while still being true to yourself.

Check your privilege

Consider how a joke might sound coming from you. For example, a joke about a marginalised group that you don't belong to might come across as offensive. Be mindful of your position and how your words might impact others.

Keep it light

While comedy can be a form of truth-telling and addressing darker or taboo subjects, it's important to find a balance. Don't subject your audience to all your negative feelings, stories, and memories. Guide them through the darker parts with humour and bring them out the other side with a laugh.

Be self-deprecating

If you're going to poke fun, do it at yourself. Self-deprecating humour shows that you don't take yourself too seriously and makes you more relatable. Just be careful not to go too far and actually put yourself down—it's a fine line!

Practice and edit

The key to being funny without being mean is practice and editing. Listen to and watch comedy, write down what you find funny, and practice your material. Get feedback from others and be willing to adapt and change your jokes if they're not landing right.

The importance of keeping it short

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, but it's also a source of great anxiety for the best man. The key to a successful speech is to keep it short and sweet. A good best man's speech should last no longer than 10 minutes, and ideally, it should be even shorter—around 3 to 7 minutes. Why? Because a short speech keeps the guests engaged and entertained, and it ensures that you don't ramble or lose your audience's interest.

When crafting your speech, aim for a concise, well-structured speech with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Start with a strong opening that grabs the audience's attention, such as a joke or a funny anecdote. Introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the groom. Keep it brief but memorable.

The main body of your speech should be a mix of funny stories and heartfelt sentiments. Share embarrassing moments, proud achievements, and anecdotes that showcase the groom's character. But be mindful of the length; don't ramble on for too long. Keep your stories concise and to the point, providing just enough detail to paint a picture without losing the audience's interest.

Finally, wrap up your speech with a final joke or a touching sentiment. Raise your glass to the happy couple and wish them well. Keep the ending short and sweet, leaving the audience with a positive impression. Remember, a well-edited speech is more engaging and enjoyable for your audience.

By keeping your speech short and to the point, you'll not only hold the attention of the guests, but you'll also be doing them a favour—after all, they're eager to get back to the celebrations and raise a glass to the newlyweds!

How to introduce yourself

While best man speeches are often expected to be funny, the most important thing is that they are authentic and memorable. Here are some tips on how to introduce yourself as the best man:

Keep it Simple

When introducing yourself, all you need to do is state your name and express what an honour it is to be speaking about the groom. Avoid trying to be a stand-up comedian and don't ramble. You are there to make people laugh, but the focus should remain on the groom.

Be Yourself

Don't force yourself to be a stand-up comedian if that's not your style. The most memorable speeches incorporate personal stories, inside jokes, and genuine emotions about the groom and couple. If it feels fake or forced, scrap it.

Keep it Short and Sweet

A best man's speech should usually be under 5 minutes. Any longer and you risk losing the audience's attention. If you have a lot to say, edit it down to the essentials.

Know Your Audience

You may have hilarious stories about the groom's wild past, but consider who is in the audience before sharing. Keep the content classy and relatable to all ages. Avoid inside jokes, spilling secrets, or bringing up the groom's exes!

Start with a Joke

If it suits your style, begin with a lighthearted joke or a funny story about yourself. For example, you could poke fun at yourself for being forgetful:

> Hi, I’m [x] and it’s time for me to do this speech I scribbled down about an hour before the ceremony started.

Or, if the groom is a bit of a buffoon, try something like:

> Hi, I’m [x] and in the run-up to the wedding, many people have asked me how I’ll cope now my best friend is married and will spend all his time at home loved up with his partner. And the truth is, I’m thrilled. I’m finally able to talk to women without him cramping my style!

Compliment the Couple

It's always nice to start off by congratulating the couple and commenting on how happy they make each other. For example:

> [Bride], you’ve achieved what no game guide could – you’ve got him to put down his controller without having to cut the power. You’re the cheat code he needed to win at life, and I’ve never seen him happier.

Break the Ice

If you're feeling nervous, make a joke about it. It will help you relax and will likely get a laugh from the audience. For example:

> I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately, last night I slept like a baby, AKA waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out.

How to talk about the groom

The best man's speech is a toast to the couple, and the main purpose is to introduce the groom to the bride's family and friends, and to endorse the groom to the bride's family. It is a chance to share fond memories and talk about the groom's positive qualities. Here are some tips on how to talk about the groom:

• Keep it short and sincere: A best man's speech should ideally be between 3-7 minutes long. It is better to keep the guests wanting more than to lose their attention.
• Be yourself: You don't have to be a stand-up comedian. Be honest and sincere, and the humour will come naturally.
• Share fond memories: Talk about how you met the groom, and share stories from your time together. This could be about a trip you took, a funny incident, or a time when the groom helped you through a tough time.
• Highlight the groom's positive qualities: Talk about the groom's character and the kind of person he is. Share observations about the couple that show how well they work together.
• Avoid embarrassing stories: While it is good to share funny anecdotes, avoid stories that are overly embarrassing or humiliating.
• Keep it appropriate: Avoid sexual references and stories about the groom's exes or past relationships. Also, refrain from making negative comments about the bride, groom, or their families.
• Make it about the groom: While it is good to share a bit about yourself and your relationship with the groom, remember that the speech is ultimately about him. Avoid making it mostly about yourself or your own experiences.
• Compliment the bride and groom: Talk about how happy the groom is with the bride, and how well they work together as a couple. You can also compliment the bride on her appearance and thank the bridesmaids.
• Wish them well: End your speech with a heartfelt wish for the couple's future and a toast to the bride and groom.

How to talk about the bride

While the best man's speech is expected to be funny, it is also a highlight of the wedding, and the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. Here are some tips on how to talk about the bride in a meaningful and non-clichéd way:

Keep it Short and Sweet

The best man's speech should be concise, usually under 5 minutes. Any longer, and you risk losing the audience's attention. If you have a lot of content, edit it down to the essentials.

Avoid Clichés

Avoid using clichés such as "it's not somebody you can live with, it's somebody you can't live without". Instead, look for unique and powerful quotes that will leave a lasting impression.

Make it Heartfelt

Speak from the heart and let your genuine emotions for the couple shine through. Share inside jokes, memories, and your sincere emotions about the groom and the couple.

Compliment the Bride

Compliment the bride and express your approval of her as the groom's choice. You can also pay tribute to her efforts in organising the wedding day. For example, say something like: "I can't imagine a couple more ready and right for this blessing. And I couldn't ever have imagined a bride more perfect for [groom]. Thank you, [bride], for bringing him and all of us such happiness."

Highlight the Bride's Positive Influence on the Groom

Talk about how the bride has improved the groom's life and made him a better person. For example, you can say: "Since the day [groom] met [bride], he has been a happy little soul, and I wish them both all the future happiness they deserve."

Avoid Embarrassing Stories or Secrets

While it's important to be funny, avoid sharing embarrassing stories or secrets about the groom that might make the bride uncomfortable. Keep the content classy and relatable to all ages.

Frequently asked questions