Selecting The Perfect Bridesmaids Dresses: Your Guide

Deciding what your bridesmaids will wear on your wedding day can be a tricky task. While traditionally, bridesmaids wear the same dress or outfit in the chosen wedding colour, many brides are now letting their bridesmaids choose dresses that reflect their individual styles. This can be a great way to help your bridesmaids feel comfortable and give them the freedom to select a dress that flatters their body type. However, if you're after a cohesive look, you may want to give your bridesmaids some guidelines to follow, such as the colour, length, fabric or style of dress. It's also important to consider the cost, as being a bridesmaid can be expensive, and you don't want to put your friends under financial strain.

Letting bridesmaids choose their own dresses

It is your wedding and it can feel easier to maintain control and put your bridesmaids in the same dress style. However, there are some advantages to giving your bridesmaids the freedom to choose their own dresses.

Comfort

Anyone who has ever been a bridesmaid (or dress shopped) understands that being assigned a specific dress isn't ideal. What works for one body doesn't necessarily work for another, and a unified bridal party look can leave your bridesmaids feeling uncomfortable. If they can choose their own dresses, they can seek out different styles, necklines, and cuts that flatter their figures.

Confidence

When you look good, you feel good. Let your bridesmaids choose dresses they love (or at least feel comfortable in) and they'll radiate confidence, not discomfort, on your wedding day.

Price

Money is often one of the biggest pain points for bridal parties. It can be expensive to be a bridesmaid! If you let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses, you don't have to worry about settling on a price point that fits into everyone's budget (or feeling guilty for choosing expensive dresses).

Things to consider

There are some potential downsides to letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses.

Cohesion

If you let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses, they'll probably all pick different styles and maybe even different colours. If you want a traditionally cohesive look, you may want to reconsider this approach.

Confusion

Too much freedom can also be confusing. Without any guidelines, you may find yourself answering a lot of questions about what's acceptable and what's not.

Extra work for bridesmaids

Being a bridesmaid can be a lot of work, and shopping for shoes, accessories, and semi-specific dresses can take time.

Guidelines

To make the dress hunt easier for your bridesmaids and yourself, be clear about what you really do and don't want. That way, everyone from your maid of honour to junior bridesmaids can feel good in a dress that suits their body type.

• Dress colour: Picking a single colour can make it difficult for bridesmaids to find dresses in the exact same shade from different vendors. Consider putting together a colour palette of 3-4 complementary colours for your bridesmaids to choose from, or offer a few vendors you'd like them to order from.
• Length: Some brides don't mind a variety of hemlines, while others prefer all bridesmaids to be in the same length dress. Let your bridesmaids know your preference.
• Material: If all of your bridesmaids are wearing the same colour, dresses in different materials can add dimension to the look. However, too many materials can also be distracting.
• Style: Outline the dress code clearly. If you're having a black-tie wedding, you may not want your bridesmaids in semi-formal dresses.
• Cost: Letting your bridesmaids choose their own dresses can remove some of the financial strain, but it's still important to be considerate of their financial situations. You might provide a shortlist of dress vendors in a variety of price ranges.
• Shoes and accessories: Choosing a pair of shoes or a specific shoe style and colour is an easy way to bring a cohesive look to your bridal party. Be clear about the style to avoid some bridesmaids in heels and others in flats. Similarly, let your bridesmaids know what jewellery you do or don't want them to wear.

The pros and cons of letting bridesmaids choose their dresses

There are many things to consider when deciding whether to let your bridesmaids choose their dresses. Here are some pros and cons to help you make a decision.

Pros:

They'll wear it again

If your bridesmaids choose their own dresses, they are more likely to select something they like and will wear again. This makes your wedding a little more environmentally friendly and helps them spend their money wisely.

Customise your wedding look

By letting your bridesmaids choose their dresses, you can completely customise your bridal party. You can ask them to mix and match by choosing dresses in different shades of the same colour or incorporate different styles, colours, and textures for a unique look.

Flexible buying options

If your wedding is less than six months away, buying non-traditional bridesmaid dresses can save time. When ordering from a boutique or traditional dress store, bridesmaids typically need to order their dresses three months in advance. However, if you give them more flexible instructions, such as "black maxi skirt and white top", they may be able to buy off the rack.

Comfort

If your bridesmaids choose their own dresses, they can seek out different styles, necklines, and cuts that flatter their figures. This can help them feel comfortable and confident on your wedding day.

Price

It can be expensive to be a bridesmaid, and if you let your bridesmaids choose their dresses, you don't have to worry about settling on a price point that fits everyone's budget.

Cons:

No group shopping trip

Dress shopping is more fun when done together as a group. If you let your bridesmaids choose their dresses, they will likely go to different stores, and you may miss out on the bonding experience of a group shopping trip.

Mismatched final look

It can be challenging to achieve a perfectly matched look if your bridesmaids choose their dresses. Even if you specify a particular colour, different fabrics may appear mismatched. To avoid this, you may need to provide more specific guidelines or choose a specific colour from a chain store.

Extra work for bridesmaids

Shopping for semi-specific dresses can take more time and effort for your bridesmaids. If you choose the dress, all they need to do is find the right size and make the purchase.

Cohesion

If you let your bridesmaids choose their dresses, they may all pick different styles and colours. If you want a traditional cohesive look for your bridal party, it may be better to choose the dresses yourself.

Confusion

Without clear guidelines, you may find yourself answering a lot of questions from your bridesmaids about what is and isn't acceptable. This can add to your stress and may be frustrating for your bridesmaids as well.

How to guide bridesmaids in choosing their dresses

How to Guide Your Bridesmaids in Choosing Their Dresses

Give Clear Guidelines

It is important to give clear guidelines to your bridesmaids about what you want them to wear. This can include the colour, length, fabric, and style of the dress. Be as specific as possible to make it easier for your bridesmaids to find a dress that fits your vision. You can also suggest certain stores or vendors for them to look at.

Consider Their Preferences and Body Types

Keep in mind that your bridesmaids have different preferences and body types. Letting them choose their own dresses can help ensure that they feel comfortable and confident on your big day. If you are set on having matching dresses, consider choosing a style that will flatter everyone's figure, such as an A-line cut.

Discuss the Cost

Money can be a sensitive topic, so it is important to be considerate of your bridesmaids' financial situations. If you are requiring your bridesmaids to purchase their own dresses, try to choose an affordable option or offer to pay for the dresses yourself.

Make it a Group Activity

If possible, make dress shopping a group activity. This can be a fun way for your bridesmaids to bond and help each other find dresses that fit your guidelines. If everyone lives in different areas, you can create a group chat or schedule video calls to discuss dress options and share findings.

Provide Inspiration

To help your bridesmaids get started, provide them with some inspiration or options that fit your vision. This can be in the form of a Google Doc or email with links to dresses, separates, or jumpsuits in the colour palette you have chosen. This will give them a better idea of what you are looking for and make the task less overwhelming.

Be Available for Questions

Remember that your bridesmaids may have questions or need your input throughout the dress-hunting process. Try to be available to offer assistance, opinions, or store recommendations. This will help streamline the process and ensure that they are choosing dresses that fit your vision.

The bride's expectations of what her bridesmaids will wear

Matching or Mismatched Outfits:

Bridesmaids' outfits can be either matching or mismatched. A cohesive look can be achieved by having them wear the same dress style and colour, which makes the bride stand out and helps identify the wedding party. However, some brides may prefer a more relaxed approach, allowing their bridesmaids to choose dresses that reflect their individual styles and flatter their body types.

Guidelines and Restrictions:

Whether the bride decides on matching or mismatched outfits, providing guidelines is essential. This can include specifications on colour, length, fabric type, formality, and accessories. For example, the bride may want all bridesmaids to wear floor-length dresses in a specific colour palette, or she may give them freedom to choose different styles within a certain colour family.

Cost Considerations:

The cost of bridesmaids' dresses is an important factor to consider. If the bride requires her bridesmaids to purchase specific dresses, it is thoughtful to be mindful of their budgets. Alternatively, the bride may offer to pay for the dresses, especially if she insists on a particular style. Discussing financial situations openly and providing a range of price options can help alleviate financial strain on the bridal party.

Involving Bridesmaids in the Decision-Making Process:

Involving bridesmaids in the decision-making process can reduce stress for the bride and ensure the bridesmaids feel confident and comfortable. This can be done by creating a group chat or a Google Doc with inspiration and guidelines, taking their preferences and budgets into account, and organising group shopping trips or virtual fittings.

Final Approval:

Ultimately, the bride should have the final say on the bridesmaids' attire. However, it is essential to maintain open communication and be considerate of the bridesmaids' needs and concerns. A balance between the bride's vision and the comfort and confidence of her bridesmaids will ensure a harmonious wedding party.

By providing clear guidelines, being mindful of costs, and involving her bridesmaids in the process, the bride can ensure that her expectations for their attire are met while also allowing for individual expression and comfort.

How to involve all bridesmaids in the dress-choosing process

Involving your bridesmaids in the dress-choosing process can be a fun way to bond with your bridal party and ensure that everyone feels comfortable and confident on your big day. Here are some tips to help you involve all your bridesmaids in this process:

Set Clear Guidelines

Communicate your vision for the bridal party's attire. Be specific about any requirements or preferences you have, such as colour, length, fabric, and level of formality. For example, you may want everyone in the same shade of pastel green or a particular style of neckline. Setting clear guidelines will help your bridesmaids understand your expectations and make the decision-making process easier for them.

Consider Individual Styles and Body Types

Recognise that your bridesmaids have different body types and styles. Allowing them to choose dresses that flatter their figures and reflect their personalities will boost their confidence. If you're set on a uniform look, consider choosing a convertible dress, where each bridesmaid can style the top differently, or opt for an A-line cut, which is universally flattering.

Be Mindful of Budgets

Discuss budgets privately with each bridesmaid to understand their financial situation. Offer a shortlist of dress options within a range of prices, or consider offering to pay for the dresses if you have the means. Remember, being a bridesmaid can be expensive, so be considerate of their budgets.

Make it a Group Activity

Plan a fun day out with your bridesmaids to go dress shopping together. This will create a bonding experience for your bridal party and allow you to share your immediate impressions of the dresses they try on. If some bridesmaids don't live nearby, schedule a virtual shopping session via video call or create a dedicated group chat for dress discussions.

Provide a Deadline

Give your bridesmaids a deadline for their final dress choices. This will ensure that they have ample time for any necessary alterations and help you avoid last-minute surprises or stress. It's recommended to schedule the final check-in about seven months before the wedding.

Don't Forget the Accessories

Remember, the attire isn't just about the dress. Provide guidance on shoes, accessories, and bouquets to create a cohesive look for your bridal party. You may want to choose a specific shoe style or colour, or let your bridesmaids know what type of jewellery you'd like them to wear.

Frequently asked questions