Planning A Polyamorous Wedding: Is It Possible?

Polyamorous weddings are a growing trend, but what does that actually mean? Well, it's when three or more people enter into a marriage or commitment ceremony together. While polyamorous marriages are not legally recognised in most countries, there are some places where polygamy is legal, and a few places where multi-person domestic partnerships are recognised. For example, in 2024, three men in Colombia signed a special legal document recognising their union, which was hailed as the first legal union between three men in the world. In the US, polyamorous marriages are not legal, but multi-person domestic partnerships are recognised in Somerville, Cambridge, and Arlington, Massachusetts.

Polyamorous marriage is not legally recognised in the US, but domestic partnerships are possible in a few cities

Polyamorous marriage is not legally recognised in the US, but in some cities, it is possible to register a polyamorous relationship as a domestic partnership. This is the case in Somerville, Cambridge, and Arlington in Massachusetts, where polyamorous relationships can be granted some legal protections.

In the US, polyamory is defined as the practice of having multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is distinct from polygamy, which is the act of having more than one spouse and is illegal across all 50 states.

The cities of Somerville, Cambridge, and Arlington in Massachusetts have passed ordinances allowing polyamorous relationships to be registered as domestic partnerships. This grants polyamorous groups some of the rights held by spouses in marriage, such as the right to confer health insurance benefits or make hospital visits. For example, in Somerville, all partners in a domestic partnership can access school records and events for their partner's children. In Cambridge, partners have visitation rights in hospitals and correctional facilities, and are protected from discrimination in areas like housing and employment.

However, it is important to note that these ordinances are limited in scope and do not provide the same benefits as marriage. For instance, domestic partners cannot file taxes jointly or access immigration benefits. Additionally, these ordinances are only applicable within the cities that have passed them, and polyamorous relationships are still considered a felony in some states.

While polyamorous marriage is not legally recognised in the US, the passage of these ordinances in a few cities represents a step towards greater acceptance and legal recognition of polyamorous relationships.

Polyamorous marriages are sometimes referred to as commitment ceremonies

Polyamorous marriages are not recognised by law in most parts of the world. In countries where any type of polyamorous structure is legal, they will be in Africa or Asia. In the United States, for example, polyamorous marriages are not legal. However, some US cities, such as Somerville and Cambridge, Massachusetts, allow polyamorous relationships to be registered as domestic partnerships. This is different from marriage and does not allow for the same benefits.

Because polyamorous marriage is not legal, the majority of polyamorous weddings are commitment ceremonies with no legal backing. These ceremonies are about members of a polycule formalising their relationship and taking the next step in a way that expresses who they are. They can elope, have a small gathering, or go all out with a big celebration. They can invite family and friends (or not). The day is completely about them and what feels right.

There are some important things to consider when planning a polyamorous wedding. The people invited and the vendors chosen should be fully on board, as some venues or wedding service providers may decline to be involved in a polyamorous wedding. When it comes to the formalities of the day, there are some outdated ideas about how things should be done, but these do not have to be followed. For example, ladies getting married do not need to be escorted down the aisle by their fathers, and one person does not have to be waiting at the ceremony site for the other to arrive. There are also some fabulous ideas for unity ceremonies, such as handfasting, unity sand or glass, tree planting, an anniversary box, or braiding of the cord.

During the ceremony, it is important that all members of the polycule can be seen by the guests. If three or more people are participating and facing each other, it creates a closed ring that makes it difficult for guests to see their faces and for the photographer to capture the moment.

Polyamory is different from polygamy, as polygamy involves one person having multiple partners, rather than multiple people being in a relationship together

Polyamory and polygamy are two different types of relationships that involve multiple partners. However, polyamory is distinct from polygamy in that it involves multiple people being in a relationship together, rather than one person having multiple partners.

Polyamory is a practice of engaging in multiple loving and consensual relationships without the need for marriage. It emphasizes open communication, mutual consent, and equal power dynamics among all parties involved. This means that everyone can have as many romantic partners as they want, with no restrictions based on gender or other partners. Polyamory is often characterised by egalitarianism, with individuals free to express their sexuality and form connections that align with their values and desires.

In contrast, polygamy refers specifically to a marital arrangement in which one person has multiple spouses. This can take the form of polygyny, where one man has multiple wives, or polyandry, where one woman has multiple husbands. Polygamy has been practised in various cultures and religions throughout history but is currently illegal in many countries, including the United States, due to concerns about power imbalances and potential abuse.

While polygamy involves a hierarchical structure with a primary spouse holding more authority, polyamory values non-hierarchical relationships where all individuals are treated equally. Polyamory can take various forms, including triads, quads, or complex networks of interconnected partners, all of whom are in a relationship with each other.

In summary, the key difference between polyamory and polygamy is that polyamory involves multiple consensual and non-hierarchical relationships without the need for marriage, while polygamy is a form of marriage in which one person has multiple spouses, creating a power imbalance.

Polyamorous relationships can take many forms, including three women, two women and one man, or three men

Polyamorous relationships can be structured in various ways, depending on the needs and preferences of those involved. For example, a "vee" structure involves one person as the pivot point of a relationship, while a "poly family" consists of more than three people. A "triad" is a form of polyamory that involves three people in an intimate relationship. This could be three women, two women and one man, or three men.

A triad may face unique challenges, such as time management and complex relationship dynamics, but these can be overcome with open and honest communication. It is important that all members of the triad are on the same page and feel equally valued and secure in the relationship.

While polyamorous marriages are not legally recognised in most parts of the world, commitment ceremonies are a way for polyamorous people to formalise their relationship and celebrate their love. These ceremonies can take many forms, from elopements to large celebrations, and often involve unity rituals such as handfasting or tree planting.

Some polyamorous people may also choose to keep their relationships private due to social stigma and potential discrimination, especially in conservative areas or communities. This can be challenging and isolating, and it is important to have a support system in place, such as like-minded friends or a therapist who is knowledgeable about polyamory.

Overall, polyamory can take many forms, including triads of three women, two women and one man, or three men, and it is a valid and fulfilling choice for those who choose it.

Polyamory is openly, honestly, and consensually loving and being committed to more than one person

Polyamory is not generally included in the LGBTQIA+ umbrella because it is not a sexuality or gender identity. However, people of different sexual orientations are part of the polyamory community and form networks of relationships, with the consent and agreement of their partners. Polyamory is also not the same as cheating, which involves spouses doing it behind each other's backs, or swinging, which is consensual sex in the same room with another couple.

Polyamory can take many different forms, depending on the needs and preferences of the individuals involved in any specific relationship. Some of the most common polyamory structures are:

• Polyfidelity: The partners in a group agree not to have sexual or romantic relationships with people who are not in the group.
• Triad: Three people who are all dating one another, also called a throuple.
• Quad: A relationship involving four people who are all dating one another.
• Vee (or "V"): One person is dating two different people, but those two people are not dating each other.

Polyamorous relationships can be hierarchical or non-hierarchical. In a hierarchical relationship, one relationship is prioritized above others. For example, you might be married and consider that your "primary relationship," while your other relationships are seen as secondary. There is some controversy over whether hierarchical relationships are fair or not.

Polyamory requires open and honest communication between all parties involved. Each polyamorous person can set their own boundaries based on what they are comfortable with, and it is important to respect those boundaries to maintain healthy and happy relationships.

Polyamory is gaining visibility and acceptability, but it is not legally recognized as a form of marriage in most places in the world. However, there are some places where a man can marry more than one woman, and in a few places, such as Somerville, Massachusetts, polyamorous domestic partnerships are recognized and protected under the law.

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