How To Plan A Wedding Without Children

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding whether or not to invite children. While some people enjoy having kids at their wedding, others prefer to keep the event child-free. Ultimately, the decision is up to the couple getting married, and there are tactful ways to communicate this preference to guests.

How to politely word 'no kids' on invites

Deciding not to invite children to your wedding is a perfectly valid choice. However, some parents can be sensitive about this issue, so it's important to carefully consider how to word your invitations. Here are some tips and examples to help you politely communicate your wishes:

Be Direct and Clear:

It's important to be direct and clear in your communication. Simply addressing the invitation to the adult guests may not be enough, as some parents might assume their children are also invited. Be specific about which age groups cannot attend and use clear language to avoid any confusion.

Inform Guests Early:

Let your guests know about your adult-only policy as early as possible. Sending this information along with your “save the date” notices or including it on your wedding website gives parents ample time to make childcare arrangements.

Provide Childcare Information:

If guests are travelling to your wedding with children, consider providing a list of trusted local childcare providers or offering onsite childcare options. This can help maximise parental attendance and show that you're making an effort to accommodate their needs.

Be Consistent:

Apply the "no kids" rule consistently across your guest list, with clear exceptions for immediate family and/or children in the wedding party. This helps to avoid any appearance of favouritism and ensures that all guests understand the parameters.

Avoid Implying Children Are Unwelcome:

While it may be tempting to say something like "We thought you'd appreciate a night off," such statements can come across as patronising and imply that children are unwelcome. Instead, focus on expressing your wishes politely and clearly.

Examples of Wording:

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate the children in the wedding party at our reception."
• "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 to the reception."
• "We politely request that there be no children under the age of 18 at the reception."
• "Our venue has a strict no-under-18s policy, so we are unable to welcome children to the wedding."
• "Unfortunately, as much as we'd love to invite all of our friends' children, we can only accommodate a few close family children."
• "We are unable to accommodate children beyond our page boys and flower girls."
• "We are very sorry, but we are keeping our special day as an adult-only occasion."
• "We are delighted to welcome children to the ceremony and early reception. However, from X pm onwards, the wedding will be adults only."
• "As much as we would like to invite all the children of our loved ones, we will only be able to welcome over-18s due to budget constraints."
• "Please note that this is an adult-only wedding. However, you are welcome to bring infants under 12 months."

Childcare options for out-of-town guests

Deciding whether or not to invite children to your wedding is a personal choice. While children can bring joy to your wedding, there are times when it may not work to have them there. If you have decided on a no-kids wedding, there are several ways to communicate this politely to your guests.

If you have guests travelling to your child-free wedding with kids, they will need to find childcare that they trust in an unfamiliar city. Here are some options for providing childcare for out-of-town guests:

• Provide a list of trusted childcare providers: Compile a list of recommended babysitters or childcare providers who can come to the hotel, campsite, church, or wherever the wedding is being held. Provide this list as early as possible, ideally on your wedding website. This will help parents know that someone familiar with the area has vetted the childcare recommendations.
• Offer onsite childcare: Depending on the number of parents who would use it, you could consider offering onsite childcare at the wedding venue. This provides care, company for the kids, and easy access in case of an emergency.
• Hire a party entertainer: Consider hiring a party entertainer who can engage and entertain both kids and adults. Magicians, balloon animal makers, and other entertainers can be a fun addition to your wedding and help keep the kids occupied.
• Set up a kids' room or table: If kids are welcome to attend the wedding but not the reception, you can set up a separate room or table with activities, snacks, and drinks to keep them entertained. You can also hire a few older kids or teenagers to supervise and help out.
• Provide information on babysitting services: If you don't want to organise childcare yourself, you can provide information about local babysitting services or nanny services that parents can contact directly.

Remember, it is not your responsibility to pay for your guests' childcare expenses, but providing options and recommendations can be a helpful gesture, especially for those travelling from out of town.

Exceptions for babies and nursing mothers

When it comes to weddings, the guest list is ultimately up to you. If you want a child-free celebration, don't be afraid to do it. However, if you're inviting parents of young babies (under a year old) and/or breastfeeding mothers, it's generally considered polite to invite their babies, too, regardless of whether you're inviting other children. This is because new mothers, especially those who are breastfeeding, may find it difficult to attend without their babies, and you may end up with more declined invitations as a result.

If you do decide to invite babies, there are a few things you can do to make things easier for your guests with babies:

• Offer to arrange for them to have accommodation on-site or suggest suitable accommodation near the venue.
• Ask your venue about their baby-changing facilities and let parents know where these are located ahead of time.
• Ask your venue if they can make a private room or quiet space available for breastfeeding or pumping, and pass this information on to the parents. Be careful how you phrase this, as you don't want to imply that it's not appropriate for mothers to breastfeed in public if that's what they prefer.
• Let parents know that you're excited to have them and their baby there and that you'll understand if they have to leave early or miss certain parts of the day.

If you decide not to invite babies, it's a good idea to let your guests know as early as possible, ideally when you send out your save-the-dates. This will give parents time to make alternative arrangements. You can also provide childcare information, such as a list of trusted childcare providers in the area, to make it easier for your guests.

Dealing with pushback

Deciding to have a no-kids wedding can be a sensitive topic for some guests, and it is understandable that you may encounter some pushback. Here are some strategies to deal with resistance to your no-kids wedding policy:

Be Consistent

It is important to stick to your rule across the board. Making exceptions for certain children and not others can cause confusion and hurt feelings. This may lead to an uncomfortable situation and could make it seem like you hand-picked which children were allowed to attend.

Private Conversations

If someone reaches out to you with concerns, it is best to discuss the matter privately, rather than in a group setting or on social media. This allows for a more personal and calm conversation where you can explain your reasons and address their concerns.

Explain Your Reasons

While you do not owe anyone an explanation, providing a brief explanation about limited space or budget constraints can help guests understand your decision. Be sensitive when dealing with upset parents, but remain firm in your decision.

Offer Help

Suggest solutions for childcare, such as recommending a babysitter or coordinating with other guests to share a sitter. If your budget allows, you could even consider hiring a babysitter for the event so that parents can attend worry-free.

Be Sympathetic but Firm

Acknowledge their feelings and try to understand their concerns. However, also reiterate that your decision is final. Remember, it is your wedding day, and you get to decide who is invited.

Alternative Participation

If appropriate, invite guests with children to participate in other wedding-related events where children are welcome, such as a post-wedding brunch or family gathering. This way, they can still be a part of the celebrations without disrupting your no-kids wedding vision.

Remember to communicate your no-kids policy clearly and kindly, and most guests will respect your wishes once they see you are thoughtfully standing by your decision.

Keeping kids entertained

It is completely acceptable to have a no-kids wedding besides immediate family. However, it is important to be tactful when communicating this to your guests. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Inform your guests about your no-kids request as early as possible, preferably when sending out your save-the-dates.
• Be direct and specific about your request, mentioning the age groups that cannot attend.
• Avoid calling out specific children and try to keep your request general.
• Be prepared for some pushback and stay sensitive when dealing with upset parents, but don't back down from your decision.
• Consider providing childcare options or a separate area for kids at the wedding venue.

Now, here are some ideas for keeping kids entertained at weddings:

Set up a colouring competition:

Buy colouring pads and pots of coloured pencils, and let the kids create their masterpieces. You can find wedding-themed printables online. Don't forget to have a prize for the best one!

Giant garden games:

Kids love giant garden games such as Connect 4, Hook A Duck, and giant Jenga. These games are a great way to keep them entertained during the drinks reception.

Create a kids-only area:

Set up a little tent with cushions, games, and books to provide a cosy escape for the kids during reception drinks.

Set up a treasure hunt:

Task one of your groomsmen with rounding up the kids and explaining the rules before sending them off in groups with clues to find hidden items around the venue.

Disposable cameras:

Give all the children disposable cameras and a list of photo ideas, such as the cake-cutting or the newlyweds sharing a kiss. This will keep them entertained, and you'll get some unique perspectives on your wedding day.

Entertainment packs:

Provide entertainment packs for the kids, including quizzes, books, stickers, and even small toys like Lego or a cuddly toy. This will help them stay engaged during the wedding breakfast.

Hire an entertainer:

If your budget allows, consider hiring a professional entertainer. They will keep the kids engaged with various activities and games, and you won't have to worry about organising additional entertainment.

Their own dance floor:

Ask your DJ to prepare a child-friendly playlist and give the kids some time on the dance floor before the adults join in. This will help burn off some energy and create some adorable photo opportunities.

Games and board games:

Set up games like ping-pong or foosball, or bring out the giant garden games again during the evening reception. If it rains, have a selection of board games like Guess Who, Operation, or Hungry Hippos ready to go.

Craft table:

Embrace DIY and set up a craft table with a wedding theme. Kids can make wedding cards, design wedding dresses, decorate cupcakes, or make props for a photobooth.

Kids-only photobooth:

A basket full of dressing-up costumes, masks, and props will keep children and grown-ups entertained for hours.

Outdoor cinema:

Upgrade your kid's-only area by adding cushions, bowls of popcorn, and a projector with family-friendly films.

Party bags:

Send your younger guests home with party bags filled with treats and a slice of cake.

Frequently asked questions