Money As A Wedding Gift: Is It Acceptable?

Giving money as a wedding gift is a topic that has sparked debates about etiquette, especially with older generations stressing the importance of tangible gifts. However, according to wedding experts and etiquette specialists, giving money as a present is entirely acceptable and even preferred by some couples. This shift in wedding gift norms is largely attributed to couples nowadays tending to have established households before marriage, making traditional gifts less necessary. This article will explore the various ways to give money as a wedding gift, the appropriate amount, and the advantages of monetary gifts over physical presents.

Send money virtually

Giving money as a wedding gift is no longer considered taboo. In fact, according to a 2023 Wedding Registry Study, nearly three-quarters of couples surveyed are asking their guests for cash. This is because many couples today have already established households before the wedding, so traditional gifts are not as necessary.

If you're thinking of sending money virtually as a wedding gift, here are some options:

Virtual Payment Methods

Virtual payment methods such as Zelle, Venmo, or PayPal are convenient ways to send money directly to the couple's account. You can schedule a payment to arrive on their wedding day or set a reminder to send it later. However, it is recommended to use these methods only if explicitly requested by the couple, as it is the most casual way to give a wedding gift.

Gift Cards

Gift cards are a great way to let the couple choose exactly what they want. You can opt for gift cards from credit card companies like Visa and American Express, which offer flexibility as they can be used anywhere these cards are accepted. Alternatively, you can choose gift cards from specific stores or companies the couple frequents or enjoys, such as their favourite local restaurant or a store that aligns with their interests.

Online Registries

Many couples set up online registries, such as The Knot, where you can contribute to a cash fund. This option gives the couple flexibility in using the monetary gifts for various expenses, such as a down payment on a new home or their honeymoon.

Charity Donations

If the couple's wedding website mentions donations instead of gifts, you can make a cash gift in their name to a charity or nonprofit they support. This could be an organisation related to a cause they are passionate about, such as animal welfare or world hunger.

Stocks and Bonds

For more unconventional options, you can consider giving stocks and bonds as a way to create generational wealth for the couple. Companies like Vanguard allow the transfer of mutual bonds to recipients with an account.

Remember, when sending money virtually, always follow the couple's preferences as stated on their wedding website or registry.

Donate to the couple's chosen charity

Donating to the couple's chosen charity is a meaningful way to give money as a wedding gift. Here are some tips to make this gesture even more thoughtful:

Understand the Couple's Interests and Passions

Before donating, take the time to understand the couple's interests, passions, and values. Are they passionate about animal welfare, committed to tackling world hunger, or avid supporters of the arts? Aligning your donation with their specific interests adds a layer of thoughtfulness to your gift. For example, if the couple is enthusiastic about the arts, consider donating to a museum, ballet company, or philharmonic orchestra in their honour.

Research the Charities They Support

If the couple has included a list of charities on their wedding registry, that's a good place to start. You can also check their wedding website or ask the wedding party or family members for more information. If they haven't specified any charities, consider choosing an organisation that aligns with their values and interests, as mentioned above.

Personalise Your Donation

Think about ways to personalise your donation to make it even more meaningful. For example, if the couple is passionate about education, you could donate to a charity that builds schools in underserved communities and include a heartfelt note explaining that your donation was made to support the couple's shared passion for empowering future generations through education.

Include a Thoughtful Card

Along with your donation, include a thoughtful card expressing your well wishes for the couple. You can also explain why you chose the particular charity you donated to and how it aligns with their values and interests. This adds a personal touch to your gift and shows that you put extra thought and care into it.

Consider a Charity Registry

Some couples may opt for a charity registry, where guests can make donations to specific charities chosen by the couple. This option provides an easy and direct way to donate to the couple's chosen charities while also allowing you to choose an amount that fits your budget.

Remember, donating to the couple's chosen charity is a wonderful way to celebrate their special day while also supporting a meaningful cause. It's a heartfelt gesture that demonstrates your thoughtfulness and generosity.

Give a gift card

Giving money as a wedding gift is becoming increasingly common, and it's a great way to ensure the couple can spend the gift on something they really want or need. However, simply handing over an envelope of cash can seem impersonal. One way to make your monetary gift more thoughtful is to give a gift card.

Gift cards are a great option if you want to give the couple the flexibility to choose their gift, but you also want to put some extra thought into where the money is spent. If the couple has a registry, you can choose a gift card from one of the stores where they are registered. That way, they can buy any items that are left over after the wedding, or they can put it towards larger purchases.

If the couple has already set up their home together, they may not need physical gifts, and a gift card is a great alternative to cash. You could give them a gift card to their favourite local restaurant for a post-wedding date night, or to a nearby spa for a relaxing day after the wedding. You could also consider a gift card to a retailer that aligns with their interests. For example, if they're outdoorsy, a gift card to an outdoor store like REI would be a great option.

Credit card gift cards, such as Visa or American Express, are also a good choice as they can be used anywhere that accepts credit cards, giving the couple the ultimate flexibility.

When giving a gift card, it's a good idea to pair it with a card that includes a personal note. This adds a layer of sentimentality to your gift and shows that you care about the couple's love story.

Contribute to their honeymoon

Honeymoon funds are a great way to give money as a wedding gift. This option is especially popular among couples who already have all the household items they need before tying the knot. With a honeymoon fund, guests can contribute to specific experiences, such as spa treatments, romantic dinners, or adventurous excursions.

• If the couple has a wedding website, this is usually the best place to find information about their honeymoon fund. The couple may include a link or address to their honeymoon registry, making it easy for guests to contribute.
• When available, consider using a honeymoon fund registry site to make your contribution. These sites often allow you to contribute to specific experiences or items that the couple has registered for.
• If you are close to the couple, you may want to consider a more substantial gift, such as airfare or accommodation for their trip.
• For a more personalized touch, you can also give the couple items that will enhance their honeymoon, such as a book about their destination, matching passport holders, or a new camera to capture their memories.
• If you want to give cash directly to the couple, it is best to put it in a card with a thoughtful note. New, crisp bills are preferable, and it is generally advised to give cash in increments of $20 or $50 to avoid small bills.

Contributing to a couple's honeymoon fund is a great way to give them the gift of experiences and create memories that will last a lifetime.

Help save for big life events

There are many big life events that require careful financial planning. Here are some tips to help you save for these milestones:

Moving Out

Moving out of your family home is a significant step towards financial independence. Whether you're going to university or renting your first property, there are several associated costs to consider, such as deposits, tenancy fees, furniture, and other charges. It's advisable to save up for these expenses rather than getting into debt.

Learning to Drive

Learning to drive can be costly, with the average learner requiring around 45 lessons at £35 each, totalling £1575. Once you pass your test, there's also the cost of buying a car, along with fuel, insurance, road tax, breakdown cover, and annual MOT to consider. If you live in an area with good public transport, you might opt to join a car-sharing scheme instead.

Buying a Car

When buying a car, it's important to do your research and shop around for the best deal. Consider buying a used car, as a new car can set you back between $20,000 and $55,000. Figure out how much you need for a down payment and budget for related expenses. You can also save by bargaining online, bringing your own financing, and timing your purchase when dealers are keen to get rid of the previous year's models.

Buying a Home

Purchasing a home is one of the most expensive undertakings in life. To get approved for a mortgage, you'll typically need a deposit of at least 10% of the property value and a stable credit history. Improve your credit score, cut PMI (Private Mortgage Insurance), and consider buying a smaller home in a good neighbourhood to save money.

Getting Married

The average wedding can cost upwards of $20,000, so it's essential to start saving early. There are ways to reduce costs, such as getting married off-peak, reducing the guest list, combining the ceremony and reception venue, and opting for a signature cocktail instead of an open bar. You can also save on the engagement ring by choosing an heirloom ring or one with an alternative stone.

Having Children

Raising a child is estimated to cost over $200,000 until they reach adulthood. To save money, take advantage of tax credits, shop around for the best prices, and cut costs where possible, such as with childcare, diapers, and formula.

Retirement

Start saving for retirement as early as possible to take advantage of compound interest. Be realistic about how much money you'll need, cut costs by choosing investments with minimal fees, and avoid withdrawing early from retirement plans to benefit from tax advantages and penalty avoidance.

Frequently asked questions