Uninvited Wedding Guest: When To Call The Cops?

If you're worried about uninvited guests at your wedding, there are a few steps you can take to prevent them from crashing your big day. Firstly, consider having someone at the door of the venue to check each guest's name against your guest list. This could be an usher or a member of staff from the venue. Alternatively, you could hire wedding security to enforce the guest list. If you're particularly concerned about a specific individual showing up, security may be a good option to ensure your peace of mind. It's also a good idea to talk to your uninvited guest yourself and ask them kindly to respect your wishes and not attend. If all else fails and an uninvited guest does show up, you can ask them to leave. If they refuse, you are within your rights to call the police and have them removed for trespassing.

When to call the cops on an uninvited wedding guest

If you are renting a venue for your wedding, you can call the police on an uninvited guest if they refuse to leave. In this case, the uninvited guest would be committing an offence as they are trespassing on private property.

However, it is important to consider the context of the situation. Calling the police could be seen as a "dick move" if the uninvited guest is a close relative, such as a son or daughter. It is also important to consider the size of your wedding. If there are too many people, the police may deem it a fire hazard and shut down your wedding. They may also note your address and be more likely to respond to noise complaints.

To avoid calling the police, you can take preventative measures such as hiring security or having someone at the door of the venue to cross-check the names of guests with your guest list. You can also inform the uninvited guest beforehand that they are not welcome and will be trespassed if they show up. This can be done through a lawyer or by having a trusted friend or family member communicate this to them.

How to hire security for a wedding

If you are worried about uninvited guests, family drama, or any other security concerns at your wedding, you may want to consider hiring security. Here are some tips on how to hire security for your big day:

• Look for corporate security experience: You want your security to be more like a concierge than a bouncer. Corporate security personnel are skilled in preventing issues and de-escalating potential problems discreetly.
• Involve them in the event planning: Ensure that your security team is involved in the final details and rehearsals so they understand the flow of the event, who should be where, and how they fit into the production.
• Understand their duties: Ask questions about what your security team can and will handle. For example, will they help call rides for guests who have been drinking, provide parking lot escorts, or provide first aid if needed?
• Work with their timeframe: Arranging security services takes time, so start shopping early to ensure you can get the services you need within your desired timeframe.
• Ask about additional benefits: Security teams can often provide benefits beyond basic security, such as controlling medical emergencies, preventing theft, and monitoring guest access to ensure only invited guests are on the premises.
• Consider off-duty police officers: Depending on your connections and local laws, you may be able to hire off-duty police officers as security for your wedding. This can be a cost-effective option and may be more suitable for certain situations.
• Provide clear instructions: If you have specific concerns, such as an uninvited guest, be sure to communicate this clearly to your security team and provide them with any relevant information (e.g. a photo of the uninvited guest).
• Check venue requirements: Some venues may require security as part of their contract, so be sure to check their requirements before hiring your own security team.
• Get recommendations: Ask friends, family, or your wedding planner for recommendations on reputable security companies or individuals.
• Plan ahead: Don't leave security as an afterthought. Start planning and reaching out to security companies well in advance to ensure you can get the services you need.

How to prevent an uninvited wedding guest from entering

If you're worried about an uninvited guest showing up at your wedding, there are several steps you can take to prevent them from entering the venue. Here are some suggestions:

Before the Wedding

• Be clear with your invitations: When addressing your invitation envelopes, write the exact names of the people you're inviting. Avoid using "and guest" to prevent any misinterpretations. If you're inviting guests' plus-ones, find out their names and include them on the invitation.
• Read RSVPs carefully: Some guests may try to add additional names to their RSVP cards. Contact these guests and politely but firmly inform them that you can only accommodate those on the official guest list due to venue capacity and budget constraints.
• Pre-warn your venue or planner: Alert your wedding planner, caterer, and venue coordinator about the possibility of extra guests. Provide them with a list of specific people who are not welcome. This way, they can handle the situation discreetly if uninvited guests show up.
• Allocate someone to check guests against the list: Have someone, such as an usher, at the door of the venue to cross-check each guest's name with your guest list. This prevents uninvited guests from entering. You can also give the guest list to the doormen in advance so they can verify guests' identities.
• Hire wedding security: If you expect someone particularly unwelcome, consider hiring security to enforce the guest list. This is especially important if you're concerned about aggressive or violent individuals showing up.

During the Wedding

• Don't handle wedding crashers yourself: If true wedding crashers (people with no connection to your event) show up, don't try to handle the situation yourself. Inform your venue coordinator or planner so they can remove the person quietly.
• Have someone from the wedding party remove uninvited guests: Ushers or the maid of honour can be tasked with identifying and removing uninvited guests. Make sure to inform them in advance that this may be part of their responsibilities and provide them with a list of specific people who are not welcome.
• Call the police: If an uninvited guest refuses to leave, you can ask them to leave and, if they still refuse, call the police. They are trespassing, which is an offence punishable under the law in most places.

What to do if an uninvited guest refuses to leave

If an uninvited guest refuses to leave your wedding, there are several steps you can take to resolve the situation:

• Have a designated person to handle uninvited guests: Assign someone from your wedding party, such as an usher or the maid of honour, to be in charge of handling uninvited guests. Ensure they are comfortable with this responsibility and provide them with a list of specific people who are not welcome.
• Check local laws and involve law enforcement if needed: Contact your local law enforcement agency to understand the laws around trespassing and the removal of uninvited guests. If the uninvited guest refuses to leave, you may need to involve the police, especially if the guest is causing a disturbance or posing a potential safety risk.
• Hire wedding security: Consider hiring security personnel for your wedding, especially if you are concerned about aggressive or violent individuals showing up. They can enforce the guest list at the door and handle any flare-ups or fights that may occur inside the venue.
• Confront the uninvited guest yourself: As a last resort, you may need to confront the uninvited guest yourself. Approach them kindly and firmly, explaining that you want to have a peaceful day and would like them to leave. Keep the interaction brief, and focus on enjoying your wedding day.

It is important to plan ahead and decide how you will handle uninvited guests before your wedding day. This will ensure that you, your wedding party, and venue staff are all on the same page and know what to do if an uninvited guest arrives.

How to deal with an uninvited wedding guest without the police

Dealing with uninvited wedding guests can be stressful, but there are several ways to handle the situation without involving the police. Here are some strategies to consider:

Pre-Wedding Strategies:

• Clear Invitations: Ensure your invitations are addressed to specific individuals, instead of using vague terms like "and guest". This reduces the chances of uninvited guests showing up.
• RSVP Management: Read RSVPs carefully to spot any additional names that guests might sneak in. If you notice any unauthorised plus-ones, contact the guest directly and politely inform them of your venue's capacity and budget constraints.
• Venue/Planner Notification: Inform your venue, planner, caterer, and coordinator about the possibility of uninvited guests. This way, they can be prepared with extra seats or meals if needed.

On-the-Day Strategies:

• Guest List at the Door: Have someone from your wedding party or venue staff check names against a guest list at the entrance. This prevents uninvited guests from entering and can include a sign-in sheet for additional security.
• Wedding Security: Consider hiring security, especially if you anticipate aggressive or toxic individuals. They can enforce the guest list and handle any flare-ups between invited guests.
• Ushers and Maid of Honour: Assign specific individuals from your wedding party, like ushers or the maid of honour, to deal with uninvited guests. Provide them with a list of unwelcome individuals and ensure they are comfortable with this task.
• Accommodate if Possible: If the uninvited guest is a plus-one or a relative's child, it may be easier to accommodate them than to create a scene. Ask your planner or caterer to be flexible and seat the extra person(s) wherever there is space.
• Confrontation as a Last Resort: If all else fails and you must confront the uninvited guest yourself, approach them kindly and ask them to leave. Emphasise your desire for a peaceful day, and try to avoid a lengthy conversation.

Frequently asked questions