Planning Your Dream Wedding: A Step-By-Step Guide

Planning a wedding can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be. The key to planning your own wedding is organisation. Here are some steps to help you plan your big day:

- Define your wedding vision: Before starting wedding planning, identify the type of celebration you want. Think about the five senses of your wedding day. What do you want to see, hear, smell, touch, and taste? How do you want to feel? Who do you want to be surrounded by? What season is it? What's the temperature? Is it indoor or outdoor? Casual or luxe? Quirky or formal?

- Set your wedding budget: Setting a wedding budget is crucial and should be one of the first steps in planning your wedding. It will guide all of your decisions.

- Consider wedding dates: You don't need to set a wedding date yet, but it's helpful to narrow down potential seasons and months. Having a general idea will help you focus your inspiration and give you time to save money.

- Purchase a wedding planning book: A guide with step-by-step instructions will be helpful. Alternatively, you may prefer a digital wedding planning app.

- Pin your inspiration: Pinterest can be a great source of wedding inspiration for decor styles, attire, accessories, colours, florals, cakes, and details. Try to spot patterns in the inspiration you're saving. Once you have enough inspiration images, stop pinning to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

- Set your DIY plan: Decide which items you would like to DIY for your wedding and keep a list to refer back to. Keep the number of projects you take on in check to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

- Outline your guest list: Your guest list guides your budget and will help determine other decisions, like your venue. Every guest adds an extra expense, so keep this in mind.

- Research, tour, and book wedding venues: Ask friends and family for recommendations and search online. Consider your guest list, budget, wedding style, and whether you want your ceremony and reception in the same place when looking for a venue.

- Set your wedding date: The reason to wait to set your wedding date until after choosing your venue is that it leaves more options open.

- Ask your wedding party: You can ask your wedding party to be part of your big day well before this point, but it's helpful to be able to answer their number one question: When are you getting married?

- Create a wedding website: Wedding websites are a key component of modern weddings and are a great way to share all the relevant wedding plans and details with your guests.

- Research, meet, and book wedding vendors: Your wedding date, venue, location, budget, and style are all important factors to know when contacting wedding professionals. Book vendors who can only work on one wedding per day first.

- Find your wedding day attire: Allow plenty of time to try on, order, alter, and pick up your wedding attire.

- Select and mail wedding stationery: Wedding stationery includes save-the-date cards and formal invitations. Send save-the-dates around eight months in advance and follow up with invitations 6-8 weeks before your wedding.

- Purchase wedding bands: Shop for wedding bands at least 2-3 months before your wedding. Bands may need to be ordered or resized.

- Obtain a marriage license: Don't forget the legal part of getting married – you'll need a license to be legally wed. Do a quick search for your area and visit your city or county's website to learn more.

- Celebrate your wedding: Delegate roles to family and friends on your wedding day so you can relax and enjoy it.

Budgeting

Get contributions from others

If your parents or other family members are contributing financially, have an open conversation about how much they are willing to spend. The same goes for any generous friends who might want to pay for a specific part of the wedding as a gift.

Look at your savings

Decide on the percentage of your savings that you are willing to put towards the wedding and try to stick to it.

Start saving

If your wedding is a while away, you could reduce your monthly spending and put those savings into a wedding account.

Create a comprehensive spreadsheet

Make a spreadsheet that lists every major service, fee, and potential expense. Add a 5-10% buffer for unexpected costs. This will give you a realistic idea of what your wedding will cost.

Prioritise

Not everything is a must-have. Decide on the things that are non-negotiable and allocate a greater portion of your budget to them. For other aspects, you can hold back a little or look for more affordable options.

Research and compare

Do your research to get an idea of how much things cost in your area. Compare different options and prioritise your spending. For example, you might prefer to spend more on food than flowers, or go all out with your photographer but book the same DJ for the ceremony and reception.

Be realistic

Don't feel that you have to spend your entire budget. You could opt for a lower-cost wedding and put the money towards your honeymoon or a nest egg for married life.

Guest list

Creating a guest list for your wedding can be a challenging part of the planning process. Here are some tips to help you create your list:

Start with a ballpark figure

Before you begin, it's a good idea to decide on the size of your wedding. This will help you get quotes from caterers and venues, and figure out the specific number later. A small wedding is around 50-75 people, the average wedding includes about 120-150 people, and a large wedding has 200 or more guests.

Consider your budget

The number of people you invite will depend on your budget. The more guests you invite, the more expensive the reception and ceremony will be. If your parents are contributing financially, find out how much they are willing to spend.

Find out the size of the venue

The number of people you can invite may be decided by your venue. If you have a specific venue in mind, ask them how many people they can accommodate. Do not invite more people than the venue can hold.

Divide the guest list

You and your partner will both want to invite important family and friends. A good way to divide the list fairly is to split it into thirds: one-third for your guests, one-third for your partner's guests, and one-third for mutual friends. Alternatively, you can divide it into fourths, giving each set of parents a quarter of the list.

Decide whether to invite children

Some couples prefer not to invite children to their wedding, while others feel that a wedding is a family event. Understand that some guests may choose not to attend if their children are not invited. You may also want to set an age limit and only invite teenagers or adults.

Remember plus-ones

You will need to decide who is allowed to bring a guest. If you don't have room for all your friends to bring a date, you may want to skip the option on the invitation. However, if a friend is in a long-term relationship or married, it is usually expected that you invite their partner as well.

Prioritize your guests

Create a list of groups of people, ranked by priority. Typically, the first group includes immediate family members, followed by extended family, workmates or colleagues, and friends.

Establish rules with your family

Your parents and your partner's parents may have their own ideas about who to invite. Let them know what kind of wedding you want and how many people they can invite. Be firm about your boundaries and make sure they understand that they need to follow these rules. For example, you could establish rules such as: only invite people you've talked to in the last year, friends of the couple have priority over friends of the parents, and certain estranged family members will not be invited.

Create a backup list

Make a list of people you would like to invite but don't have space or the budget for. If someone from your main list declines, invite someone from the backup list. Assume that approximately 20% of invited guests will not be able to attend, so make sure your backup list is at least this long.

Edit your list

Before sending out invitations, make sure you are not inviting more people than your maximum number. When cutting guests, start with the lowest-priority guests (colleagues, distant family members, family friends) and work your way up.

Send invitations in rounds

If you are sending out invitations in multiple rounds, make sure to do so with enough time between each round. A good guideline is to send the first round three months before the wedding and the second round six to eight weeks before.

Consider inviting people to the reception only

If your ceremony venue is small, you may want to have a separate guest list for the reception. Explain to your friends that you would love to have them at the reception but are limited with space. This is also a good option if you are having a destination wedding and want to have a separate reception in your hometown.

Top tips

• Don't verbally invite guests who aren't on your list – this may cause disappointment later.
• Try to keep the guest numbers fair for each family.
• Don't forget to include children in your guest list numbers if you are inviting them. If you're not, be sure to mention this on your invitations.
• The bride and groom also count as guests, so don't forget to include yourselves in the final figure.
• Check if your chosen venue has a 'minimum number' of guests for your chosen package.

Venue

The venue is one of the most important aspects of a wedding. It will be the backdrop for your wedding photos and have the biggest impact on your budget and the overall vibe of your celebration. Here are some tips to help you choose the perfect venue for your big day:

• Start looking early: Venues book up quickly, so it's best to start your search as soon as possible.
• Determine your budget: Knowing your budget will help you narrow down your venue options. The cost of the venue will depend on factors such as the location, the number of guests, and the services included.
• Consider the size: The venue should be able to accommodate your guest list comfortably.
• Think about the location: Decide whether you want a local venue or a destination wedding. If you're planning a destination wedding, consider the travel and accommodation options for your guests.
• Decide on the style: Do you want a rustic barn, a beach wedding, or a formal ballroom? Choose a venue that fits the style and theme of your wedding.
• Ask about inclusions: Some venues offer all-inclusive packages that include catering, furniture, lighting, and even coordination assistance. This can save you time and stress by providing everything in one place.
• Check availability: Pick a few potential dates for your wedding and check the availability of the venues. Having flexibility with your dates will increase your chances of finding your dream venue.
• Visit the venues: Schedule site visits to see the venues in person and get a feel for the space. This will help you decide if it fits your vision and meets your requirements.
• Read reviews: Research the venues online and read reviews from past couples to get an idea of their experience. This will help you understand the pros and cons of each venue.
• Consider your priorities: Make a list of must-haves and deal breakers for the venue. For example, do you need a venue with indoor and outdoor options, or is accessibility for guests with disabilities important to you?
• Ask questions: When visiting venues, don't hesitate to ask questions to clarify any concerns or get more information. Ask about their policies, restrictions, and what's included in the rental fee.
• Compare and decide: After visiting and researching venues, create a spreadsheet to compare your options. Consider factors such as price, location, amenities, and how well they fit your vision. Then, make your decision and book your dream venue!

Vendors

The vendors you choose will play a huge role in ensuring your wedding day is memorable and runs smoothly, so it's important to select vendors that you feel comfortable with and who understand your vision.

Begin by researching vendors to find those that align with your vision and budget. The Knot and Wedding Wire are great resources for this. You can also use Instagram and Google to find vendors and read reviews. Word-of-mouth recommendations from recently married friends are also a good way to find vendors.

Once you have a list of potential vendors, it's important to meet with at least a few different options to ensure they are the right fit. Consider their communication style and reliability. It's also important to ask vendors about their availability and get a sense of whether they can work within your budget.

When you've found the right vendors, be sure to read through the contract carefully before signing. Look out for any red flags, such as clauses that prevent you from reviewing the vendor after their service or extreme cancellation policies. The contract should also outline what happens if either party cancels.

Throughout the process, don't be afraid to ask questions and communicate your expectations clearly.

Finally, don't forget to tip your vendors and express your gratitude for their hard work!

Attire

Planning your wedding attire is one of the most exciting parts of the wedding planning process. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you plan your wedding attire:

Step 1: Start with the wedding dress

Begin by browsing wedding dress ideas online and saving your favourites. It's important to start this process early, as you'll want to purchase your wedding dress around nine months before the big day to allow time for fittings and alterations. When you're ready, take your vision to a store and try on some dresses.

Step 2: Decide on the suit

If you're planning on wearing a suit, consider whether you want to go for a traditional suit or a sleek tuxedo. Like the wedding dress, you'll want to give yourself plenty of time for alterations, so start shopping around five months before the wedding.

Step 3: Choose your wedding jewellery

Think about how you can showcase your personality through your accessories. Jewellery is a great way to add some sparkle to your outfit and make it feel unique to you.

Step 4: Don't forget the wedding party

You'll also need to think about attire for your wedding party. This includes bridesmaids, groomsmen, the maid of honour, and the best man. You can have fun with this part by surprising them with handwritten letters or gifts when you ask them to be part of your wedding.

Step 5: Plan for pre-wedding events

Remember that there will be events leading up to the big day, such as engagement parties, bridal showers, and bachelor/bachelorette parties. You'll need to think about what you want to wear for these occasions too.

Step 6: Shop for comfortable shoes

Comfort is key when it comes to wedding attire. You'll be wearing your wedding shoes for a long day, so make sure they're comfortable and broken in before the big day.

Step 7: Consider a change of outfit

Some couples choose to have a change of outfit for the reception, especially if the wedding attire is particularly formal or traditional. This could be a fun way to surprise your guests and show off your personal style.

Step 8: Don't forget the little details

The devil is in the details, so make sure you don't overlook the smaller aspects of your wedding attire. This includes shoes, accessories, and any cultural or traditional elements that are important to you.

Step 9: Have a backup plan

It's always a good idea to have a backup outfit or two in case of any last-minute spills or mishaps. You might also want to bring a jacket or shawl for when temperatures drop in the evening.

Step 10: Enjoy the process

Don't forget to have fun with it! Planning your wedding attire should be an enjoyable and creative process. Involve your partner and your wedding party, and don't be afraid to think outside the box.

Frequently asked questions