Gifts At Weddings: Should You Bring Them?

Wedding gift-giving customs have evolved over the years, and while traditions may vary across cultures and regions, there are some general guidelines to consider. In the past, guests often brought physical gifts to the wedding reception, but nowadays, it is considered more convenient and polite to send gifts in advance or contribute to the couple's honeymoon fund. This saves the couple the hassle of managing and transporting gifts on their special day. Here are some tips to navigate the modern-day rules of wedding gift-giving etiquette.

Gifts are not required, but cash is king

Wedding gift-giving customs have evolved over time, and today, there is no obligation for guests to bring gifts to the wedding ceremony. In fact, it is considered more convenient and polite to send gifts in advance or contribute to the couple's honeymoon fund. This way, the couple doesn't have to worry about transporting and managing gifts on their wedding day.

• Convenience and Logistics: Bringing gifts to the wedding can be inconvenient for both the guests and the couple. Guests may have to worry about wrapping and transporting the gifts, and the couple will have to deal with collecting and bringing the gifts back home, adding to their post-wedding tasks.
• Safety and Security: There is a risk of gifts getting lost, misplaced, or even stolen at the wedding venue. Sending gifts directly to the couple's home or contributing to their honeymoon fund ensures that the gifts are securely received.
• Timing and Efficiency: With modern delivery options and digital transfer methods, it is easier than ever to send gifts or money in advance. This saves time and effort for both the guests and the couple, who won't have to worry about managing gifts on their special day.
• Couple's Preference: Many couples today prefer monetary gifts or contributions to their honeymoon fund over physical gifts. This gives them more flexibility and allows them to choose how to allocate the funds according to their needs.
• Sentimental Value: While physical gifts can be significant, cash gifts are often highly valued by couples, especially those who are older or already have an established home. A cash gift allows them to choose something meaningful or put the money towards a special experience.

So, while gifts are not required at the wedding, if you do wish to give a gift, cash is usually the most convenient and preferred option for the couple. It saves them the hassle of managing physical gifts and gives them the freedom to choose how to spend the money.

Send gifts ahead of time

Sending gifts ahead of the wedding is a great option for several reasons. Firstly, it saves you the hassle of having to transport the gift to the wedding venue, especially if it is a bulky or fragile item. By sending it in advance, you can ensure that the gift arrives safely and securely. This also takes the burden off the couple, who won't have to worry about managing and transporting the gifts back to their home after the wedding.

Another advantage of sending gifts ahead of time is that it gives the couple one less thing to worry about on their wedding day. They can simply enjoy their special day without having to concern themselves with the logistics of gift management. It also allows them to start their married life with gifts already in their new home, which can be exciting and comforting.

Additionally, sending gifts in advance can help to ensure that your gift is not lost or misplaced during the wedding festivities. With so many guests and activities happening simultaneously, it is easy for gifts to be misplaced or accidentally taken by another guest. Sending the gift ahead of time ensures that it reaches the couple safely and is one less thing to worry about on the day of the wedding.

When sending gifts in advance, it is important to consider the timing. It is generally recommended to send the gift close to the wedding date, preferably within a couple of months before or after the ceremony. This ensures that the gift arrives on time and shows that you are thoughtful and considerate.

Use the couple's registry

Using the couple's registry is a great way to ensure your gift is something they will love and use. It also takes the stress out of choosing a gift, as you can be sure that the couple has already curated a list of items they would like to receive.

Most couples will create a wedding website and a digital registry for their guests to use. This is a convenient way to select and purchase a gift, as everything can be done online. You can simply choose an item from their registry, add it to your cart, and have it shipped directly to the couple. This saves you the hassle of having to wrap and deliver the gift yourself, and it also means the couple doesn't have to worry about transporting a bunch of gifts home after the wedding.

Using the couple's registry also ensures that your gift will not get lost or misplaced during the wedding celebrations. It can be difficult to keep track of gifts and cards that are brought to the event, and there is always the risk of something getting lost or stolen. By sending your gift in advance, you can avoid this potential issue.

Another benefit of using the couple's registry is that it allows you to choose a gift that fits your budget. Most registries will have a range of items at different price points, so you can find something that you are comfortable spending money on. This can be especially helpful if you are attending multiple weddings in a short period of time.

Finally, using the couple's registry can be a fun and exciting way to choose a gift. You can browse through their list of desired items and find something that you know they will appreciate. It can be a fun way to get to know the couple better and feel more connected to their special day.

Gifts are expected, even if you don't attend

If you are invited to a wedding, it is customary to send a gift, even if you don't attend. This is because being invited to a wedding is seen as a privilege and a sign that the couple values you. Not giving a gift, even if you don't attend, can be considered offensive and could impact your friendship with the couple.

There are a few options for giving a gift if you don't attend a wedding. You can order something from the couple's registry or send a card with a check or cash. You could also contribute to a honeymoon fund or another pool of money that the couple has requested. If you don't know the couple well, you are not obligated to send a gift, but it is still a nice gesture.

The amount of money you give as a wedding gift is flexible and depends on your budget and relationship with the couple. On average, friends of couples spend around $79-$99 on wedding gifts, while family members spend closer to $127-$146. It is also acceptable to give a physical gift, such as household goods, luxury bedding, or a gift card.

It is recommended to send a wedding gift soon after receiving the invitation. While some sources suggest sending a gift within three months after the wedding, others suggest sending it ahead of time. This is to ensure that the gift arrives on time and to avoid the hassle of the couple having to manage and transport gifts on their wedding day.

Group gifts are acceptable

Group gifts are a great option for wedding presents. They allow you to give the couple a practical and more expensive gift without stretching your budget too thin. If you know other guests who are also looking to save money, you can pool your funds to purchase a larger item from the registry, such as a dining room set or washer and dryer. This way, you can still give a thoughtful and useful gift without breaking the bank.

There are a few ways to go about organising a group gift. You can use technology to your advantage by utilising apps like Venmo, Cash App, or Zelle to collect money from everyone and then have one person buy the gift. Alternatively, some registry websites and apps offer a "group gift" option, which allows you to contribute as much as you want towards a specific item. This option is convenient as it does not require any coordination with other guests.

Another benefit of group gifts is that they can save time and stress. With everyone chipping in, you won't have to worry about budgeting for a gift on top of your other expenses, such as travel, accommodation, and attire. Plus, you won't have to worry about wrapping and shipping the gift, as the registry site can take care of that for you.

Group gifts are also a great option if you are unable to attend the wedding. It is considered good manners to send a gift if you cannot make it to the ceremony, and a group gift allows you to give a more substantial present without putting a strain on your finances.

When it comes to wedding gift-giving, the most important thing is to do what is most appropriate for the situation and what fits within your budget. Group gifts offer a convenient and thoughtful way to celebrate the happy couple without sacrificing your savings.

Frequently asked questions