Destination Duo: Celebrating Love Twice

Planning a wedding is no easy feat, and with couples increasingly coming from different parts of the world, or from different cultural and religious backgrounds, having two weddings has become a rising trend. There are many reasons why couples might opt for two ceremonies. For some, it's about honouring their heritage and beliefs, for others, it's about complying with COVID-19 regulations, or making their dream destination wedding a reality. Whatever the reason, having two weddings allows couples to celebrate with all their loved ones and gives them the creative freedom to plan two distinct events.

Destination weddings

Having two weddings is a great way to include family and friends, especially if you're planning a destination wedding. Here are some ideas for your dream destination wedding:

• Belize: This Central American country offers the best of both worlds with its dense jungle and pristine Caribbean waters. You can exchange vows in the lush jungle or enjoy a reception at a luxury beachfront resort.
• Cozumel, Mexico: Framed by a stunning coral reef system, this peaceful island offers a range of resorts, including all-inclusive options, and pristine swaths of sand. Cozumel is perfect for nature-loving couples and guests who can explore Chankanaab National Park.
• Jamaica: With its vibrant culture and laid-back atmosphere, Jamaica offers a range of all-inclusive resorts and private villas. Montego Bay, Negril, and Ocho Rios provide gorgeous settings for intimate sunset ceremonies or grand garden weddings.
• Portugal: Known for its low cost of living and world-class dining, Portugal offers sweeping medieval castles, charming villages, and renowned ceramics. It's a great option for couples who want their guests to experience culture and affordability.
• US Virgin Islands: St. Thomas and St. John offer convenient access, natural beauty, and a hassle-free Caribbean experience. While St. Thomas is more developed, St. John is more rugged and exclusive, offering plentiful snorkeling sites and national parks.
• Puerto Rico: As a US territory, Puerto Rico offers the charm and beauty of the Caribbean with the convenience of easy travel. It blends traditional beach relaxation with unique cultural and historic sights, making it a great option for a diverse range of guests.
• Riviera Maya, Mexico: This stretch of the Yucatan Peninsula offers ancient Mayan ruins and palm-fringed beaches. You can choose a hacienda-style wedding in a Mayan village or opt for the resorts and vibrant nightlife of Cancun or Playa del Carmen.
• Charleston, South Carolina: This charming Southern city combines oceanfront weddings with ballroom celebrations in unique venues. The well-experienced local vendors will ensure your special day is in good hands.
• Ireland: With its misty green hills, oceanside cliffs, and charming villages, Ireland offers a fairy-tale setting for destination weddings. Symbolic traditions, genuine hospitality, and a range of venues, from Tudor-style churches to historic castles, make it a memorable choice.
• London: This cosmopolitan city offers historic and unique architecture, incredible dining, and modern hotels. London is easily accessible from the East Coast, making it a convenient choice for guests. You can even start your festivities in London and then venture to the picturesque English countryside for the wedding ceremony.
• Miami: With its vibrant art scene, unique architecture, and lively nightlife, Miami is a great alternative to the Caribbean or Mexico. The picturesque sands and diverse cultural offerings will add character to your wedding photos and cater to a range of guest preferences.
• New York: The "city that never sleeps" offers museums, galleries, restaurants, and iconic attractions like the Empire State Building and Central Park. While it can be expensive, New York provides endless resources for wedding planning and caters to a wide range of tastes.
• New Orleans, Louisiana: With its rich history, charming architecture, and vibrant culture, New Orleans is a sought-after destination wedding location. It offers beautiful garden and grand ballroom venues, making it ideal for couples seeking a blend of natural and urban settings.
• Paris: The "City of Love" exudes old-world charm and modern sophistication. Paris is teeming with luxury and boutique hotels, gardens, and museums, providing a range of venue options. The Eiffel Tower and Versailles offer iconic backdrops for your special day and post-wedding celebrations.
• Rome: The Eternal City blends old-world culture with modern energy. Rome offers artistic monuments, churches, ancient ruins, and rustic castles and villas just outside the city. The abundance of world-class wine and authentic Italian fare will delight your guests and enhance your celebration.
• Spain: From the art cities of Barcelona and Madrid to the tropical beaches of the Canary Islands, Spain offers diverse options for destination weddings. The Iberian Peninsula provides a tropical backdrop, while the mainland boasts top hotels and venues, ensuring a luxurious and memorable experience.
• Tuscany, Italy: Set in central Italy's west coast, Tuscany captivates with its green valleys, rolling hills, vineyards, and historic architecture. It's the perfect setting for a rustic, romantic affair, offering a laid-back vibe and exceptional cuisine and wines for your guests to enjoy.
• Arizona: The southern region of Arizona, with its arid climate, saguaro cacti, canyons, and rocky terrain, offers a unique and rugged backdrop for your destination wedding. Scottsdale provides a touch of luxury, and the region's natural wonders will thrill your adventure-seeking guests.
• The Colorado Rockies: This Rocky Mountain town combines natural beauty, local charm, and posh amenities. Aspen, Vail, and Crested Butte offer gorgeous mountain and valley views, while the range of resorts, ballrooms, and trendy restaurants cater to a variety of tastes and event sizes.
• Central Coast, California: The rugged, lush coastline of Central Coast California, including Pebble Beach and Big Sur, offers a natural and earthy destination wedding option. The morning fog and lack of WiFi add a touch of magic and serenity to your special day.
• The Grand Circle: Spanning Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, and Colorado

Civil and religious ceremonies

On the other hand, religious ceremonies are steeped in tradition and are often officiated by a religious official, such as a priest, rabbi or minister. These ceremonies usually take place in a house of worship and are filled with rituals, scripture and songs. While religious ceremonies hold deep meaning for couples with strong faith, they often follow a set structure, leaving little room for customisation.

Couples may opt for two weddings, with one being a civil ceremony and the other a religious ceremony. This is often the case when a couple wants to get legally married at home before a destination wedding abroad. In some cases, couples may choose to have two religious ceremonies to honour their different cultural backgrounds. For instance, a couple with Italian Catholic and Christian Filipino roots might have two separate ceremonies to incorporate traditions from both cultures.

Having two weddings allows couples to celebrate with all their loved ones, especially if they have family in different countries. It also gives them the opportunity to have a more intimate celebration, followed by a larger-scale event.

Honoring different cultures

Outline your vision

Before you begin planning, sit down with your partner and discuss what traditions and cultural elements you want to include in your wedding. Be honest about what is important to you and what you are willing to compromise on. This will help you create a clear vision for your special day.

Involve your parents

Your parents might have different ideas or expectations for your wedding, especially if they belong to a different culture. It is important to communicate with them and find a balance between your wishes and theirs. Ask them about their must-haves and try to incorporate at least some of their traditions. This will show your respect for their culture and help them feel included in the planning process.

Consider two ceremonies

If you are finding it challenging to combine two different cultures into one ceremony, consider having two separate ones. This option can provide the flexibility needed to honor each culture authentically. For example, you could have an Indian ceremony followed by a traditional Christian ceremony, ensuring that each culture is represented meaningfully.

Involve your guests

Make your guests part of the cultural celebration by informing them about the different traditions they will experience during your wedding. You can include this information in your invitations or on your wedding website. This will not only help them understand the significance of the rituals but also ensure they don't accidentally commit any cultural faux pas.

Hire a specialized wedding planner

Planning a multicultural wedding can be challenging, and a specialized wedding planner can be a valuable ally. They can help you navigate the complexities of blending two cultures and ensure that all the important traditions are seamlessly incorporated. A good planner will also have experience working with vendors who are familiar with specific cultural needs, such as dietary restrictions or customs like the Mehendi henna ceremony.

Make it bilingual

If your guest list includes people who speak different languages, consider making your ceremony bilingual. Hire a bilingual officiant or a professional translator to ensure that all your guests can understand and follow the ceremony. You can also provide bilingual programs, menus, or signage to make everyone feel included.

Remember, it's your day

While it is important to honor your cultures and include your families, remember that your wedding day is ultimately about you and your partner. It is impossible to please everyone, but as long as you stay true to yourselves and include the traditions that are most meaningful to you, your day will be perfect.

Budgeting for two weddings

Determine Your Overall Budget:

Start by deciding on an overall budget that you are comfortable spending on both weddings combined. Be realistic and set a budget that takes into account your financial situation and that of your families, if they are contributing. This will help you avoid financial strain and keep stress levels low throughout the planning process.

Prioritize and Allocate Funds:

Break down your overall budget into specific categories for each wedding, such as venue, catering, attire, etc. Allocate a certain percentage of your budget to each category to ensure you stay within your means. For example, you may allocate a larger portion of your budget to the venue and catering, which typically make up a significant chunk of the total cost.

Consider the Differences Between the Weddings:

Think about the unique aspects of each wedding. For instance, one wedding may be a destination wedding with a smaller guest list, while the other may be a larger celebration with more guests. Allocate funds accordingly, taking into account factors such as travel costs, venue prices, and the number of guests.

Be Flexible with Your Vision:

Having two weddings allows you to incorporate different themes, traditions, and cultural elements. Be open to adjusting your vision for each wedding to match your budget. For example, if you have a particular type of flower in mind for one wedding but it is out of your price range, consider alternative options or less expensive varieties.

Choose Your Attire Strategically:

Instead of wearing the same wedding dress or suit to both weddings, consider having two separate outfits that align with the unique setting and style of each event. This will not only give you a different look for each celebration but also help you stay within your budget.

Manage Guest Expectations:

Be transparent with your guests about your plans for two weddings. Let them know that they are not obligated to attend both events and that you understand if they can only make it to one. This will help you manage guest lists and budget more effectively, especially if you are covering any guest expenses.

Seek Cost-Saving Measures:

Look for ways to save money without compromising the overall experience. For example, you may opt for a DJ instead of a live band at one of the weddings or choose affordable wedding stationery options. Every little saving adds up and helps you stay within your budget.

Don't Forget the Extras:

Remember to include additional costs in your budget, such as tips for vendors, transportation, and any pre-wedding events like a rehearsal dinner or bachelor/bachelorette party. These expenses can quickly add up, so it's important to plan for them in advance.

Track Your Spending:

Stay organized by using a spreadsheet or budgeting app to track your expenses for both weddings. This will help you stay on top of your budget and make adjustments as needed. It is also a good idea to open a dedicated bank account specifically for wedding expenses to keep your finances in order.

Be Mindful of Your Priorities:

Ultimately, your wedding day(s) should reflect what is important to you and your partner. Be mindful of your priorities and allocate funds accordingly. If having a particular type of entertainment or a specific type of food is high on your list, make sure to include that in your budget, even if it means cutting back on other less important areas.

By following these tips and tailoring them to your specific needs and circumstances, you can effectively budget for two weddings and create memorable celebrations that align with your vision and financial means.

Planning and timing

Planning two weddings is a lot of work. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Decide on the type of weddings you want to have: Do you want to have a civil ceremony and a celebratory ceremony? Or are you blending two different cultures and want to incorporate traditions from both? Having a clear vision for each wedding will help you plan and ensure that both events are unique and special.
• Choose your locations wisely: If you're having two weddings in different places, consider the travel time and any potential red tape involved in getting married abroad. You may also want to think about having both weddings in the same space, especially if they are close together in terms of timing. This can help avoid any hurt feelings among guests who may feel that their celebration is less important.
• Space out the weddings: While having the weddings close together might seem like a good idea, it will likely be very stressful. Consider spacing them at least a few months apart to give yourself time to plan and recover from the first event.
• Be realistic about your budget: Two weddings will cost more than one, so be sure to set a budget that you know you can afford. You may need to cut back on some expenses or find ways to stretch your budget, but having a realistic budget upfront will save you a lot of stress.
• Prioritize your spending: Focus on two or three priorities for each wedding, such as food or music, and allocate your budget accordingly. This will help you create a unique and memorable experience for each event without breaking the bank.
• Use the same suppliers if possible: Using the same team for both weddings will allow for a sense of continuity between the two events, especially if they are held in the same place. It will also make it easier to negotiate any deposits you have already paid and give you a team you're comfortable with.
• Give yourself enough time to plan: Don't rush the planning process. Take your time to find the right venues, suppliers, and other details to ensure that both weddings are cohesive and reflect your style.
• Be flexible and make your own rules: Remember that you don't have to follow all the traditional wedding rules. Feel free to ditch any traditions you don't like or come up with a unique order of events. It's your day, so make it your own!

Frequently asked questions