Planning Your Own Wedding: Dream Or Disaster?

Planning a wedding can be a stressful and complicated process, so it's no surprise that many couples choose to hire a wedding planner to help them with their big day. However, it is possible to plan your own wedding, and doing so can save you money and give you more control over the process.

If you're thinking of planning your own wedding, there are a few things you should keep in mind. First, it's important to start planning well in advance and to give yourself plenty of time to organise everything. It's also crucial to stay organised and on top of all the details. This might involve creating a master checklist, using planning tools and apps, or even setting up a separate email address to keep all your wedding-related communications in one place.

Another key consideration is your budget. Wedding planners can be expensive, so setting and sticking to a budget will be an important part of planning your own wedding. This might involve making some sacrifices or compromises, but it's important to remember that your wedding should reflect you as a couple.

Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help. Planning a wedding is a big task, and there are plenty of resources available to help you, such as books, blogs, and other couples who have been through the process. You can also reach out to vendors and venues for advice and guidance.

So, can you be your own wedding planner? Absolutely! It will take some work, but with the right tools and mindset, you can plan a wedding that's perfectly tailored to you and your partner.

Budgeting and financial planning

• Set a realistic wedding budget: Discuss with your partner and any family members contributing financially to determine a realistic budget. This will guide all your other financial decisions and help you avoid overspending.
• Prioritize your spending: Identify the three most important aspects of your wedding and allocate your funds accordingly. For example, if you prioritise a specific wedding date or venue, you may need to compromise on other elements, such as catering or entertainment.
• Be flexible with dates and venues: Costs can vary significantly depending on the time of year and location. Consider less popular dates and venues to save money.
• Research and compare prices: Don't settle for the first vendor or venue you find. Shop around, get quotes, and compare prices to ensure you're getting the best value for your money.
• Hire a wedding planner: Consider hiring a wedding planner, especially if you have a large budget. Wedding planners can help you stay within your budget, avoid costly mistakes, and may even be able to negotiate discounts with vendors.
• Create a comprehensive budget breakdown: Account for all possible expenses, including the wedding venue, catering, entertainment, attire, decorations, invitations, and any other relevant costs. This will help you identify areas where you may need to cut back or adjust your budget.
• Build in a contingency fund: Unexpected costs will inevitably arise, so it's important to have a buffer in your budget. Aim to set aside 10-15% of your total budget for unforeseen expenses.
• Keep track of your spending: Create a spreadsheet or use a wedding planning app to track your spending and ensure you're staying within your budget. Regularly review your budget to identify areas where you may be able to save money.
• Negotiate and shop around: Don't be afraid to negotiate with vendors and ask for discounts, especially if you're booking multiple services with them. Shopping around can also help you find the best deals and ensure you're getting value for money.
• DIY where possible: Opt for do-it-yourself projects where feasible to save money. For example, you could make your own wedding invitations or decorations. However, be mindful of your time and skills, as DIY projects can be time-consuming and may not always result in cost savings.
• Stick to your budget: Once you've set your budget, do your best to stick to it. It's easy to get carried away with upgrades and last-minute additions, but staying disciplined will help you avoid financial stress later on.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment. While it's important to create a memorable day, don't feel pressured to spend beyond your means. Be creative, prioritise, and plan accordingly, and you'll have a wonderful day without breaking the bank.

Choosing a wedding planner

The short answer is: it depends. Wedding planners can be a fantastic resource for couples who are busy, disorganised, or feeling overwhelmed by the wedding planning process. They can also be beneficial for those planning a destination wedding or an event with complex logistics.

On the other hand, if you're working with a small budget or prefer a simple ceremony, a wedding planner may not be the best use of your funds. Additionally, highly organised couples who enjoy the research and details of wedding planning may find that a planner causes more stress than relief.

Types of wedding planners

There are different types of wedding planners, offering varying levels of service:

• Full-service planners are involved from start to finish and often employed many months in advance. They find and hire vendors and venues, handle invitations, sketch out a floor plan and schedule, and direct everything and everyone on the wedding day.
• Partial-service or month-of planners get involved much closer to the wedding day, typically four to six weeks beforehand. They may help to find specific vendors and become the point of contact for those already hired. They also confirm logistics, arrange timetables, and are on-site to coordinate on the day.
• Day-of coordinators are usually only present at the wedding and perhaps the rehearsal. They direct vendors, participants, and guests, keeping everything on schedule and troubleshooting any issues that arise.
• Design-focused planners focus on the aesthetic of the wedding, including the colour scheme, decor, style, lighting, and floor plan.

How to choose a wedding planner

When choosing a wedding planner, it's important to:

• Check their credentials: Anyone can call themselves a wedding planner, so it's essential to look for someone who is a member of an established wedding planner organisation, such as the American Association of Certified Wedding Planners (AACWP) or the Association of Bridal Consultants (ABC). This shows they are serious professionals who adhere to a code of ethics.
• Set clear expectations: Be clear about what services you require and what you expect from your planner. A good planner will put your plans into action without micromanaging or imposing their own ideas.
• Read reviews and references: Ask for references and read recent reviews to get a sense of the planner's work and whether they align with your values.
• Meet with them: It's important to find someone you feel comfortable with, as you'll be spending a lot of time with them.

Other considerations

If you're working with a tight budget, consider enlisting the help of a day-of coordinator. This will ensure that someone else is handling any last-minute decisions on your wedding day, allowing you to relax and enjoy the celebration.

You could also seek out advice and tips from online resources, wedding planner blogs, and other couples who have planned their own weddings. This can give you some of the benefits of a wedding planner without the cost.

Wedding planners typically charge a flat-rate package, with additional à la carte options. Full-service planners often charge a fee that's a percentage (around 20%) of the total cost of the wedding. Day or hourly rates are less common but are sometimes offered by day-of planners, ranging from $75 to $275 per hour.

On average, couples spend about 8-15% of their total wedding budget on a wedding planner.

Venue options

When it comes to venue options, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, think about the size of your wedding. If you're planning a small, intimate gathering, a large banquet hall or ballroom may not be the best fit. Similarly, if you're expecting a large number of guests, a small venue may not be able to accommodate everyone comfortably.

Another factor to consider is location. Do you want a venue that is conveniently located for most of your guests, or are you open to a destination wedding? If you're set on a particular city or region, research venues in that area and compare prices and packages.

It's also important to think about the style and theme of your wedding. Are you envisioning a rustic barn wedding, a glamorous ballroom affair, or something else entirely? Choose a venue that aligns with your desired aesthetic and can be transformed into your dream wedding setting.

When researching venues, be sure to read reviews and ask for recommendations from other couples who have recently tied the knot. It's also a good idea to visit the venues in person to get a sense of the space and meet with the on-site coordinator, if there is one.

Don't forget to consider your budget when selecting a venue. The cost of renting a venue can vary significantly, so be sure to get quotes from multiple options and compare packages to find the best fit for your budget. Keep in mind that some venues may have minimum spending requirements, so be sure to ask about any hidden costs or additional fees.

Finally, think about the amenities and services offered by the venue. For example, some venues may provide tables, chairs, and linens, while others may require you to rent these items separately. If you're planning on having a lot of out-of-town guests, look for venues that offer accommodation options or have partnerships with nearby hotels.

• Hotels: Hotels often have banquet halls or ballrooms that can accommodate a wide range of wedding sizes. They usually have on-site catering options and may offer package deals that include accommodation for your guests.
• Restaurants: For a more intimate gathering, consider hosting your wedding at a restaurant. This can be a great option if you want to focus on food and create a unique dining experience for your guests.
• Barns or Farms: If you're envisioning a rustic or outdoor wedding, consider venues like barns or farms. These settings can offer a beautiful backdrop for your nuptials and often provide a blank canvas for you to personalize.
• Mansions or Historic Estates: For a touch of elegance and old-world charm, look into renting a mansion or historic estate for your big day. These venues often have gorgeous architecture and lush grounds that will impress your guests.
• Beaches or Parks: If you're dreaming of a wedding with a view, consider a beach or park setting. Just be sure to research any permits or restrictions for these types of venues.

Wedding style and theme

Deciding on a wedding theme and style is one of the first steps in the wedding planning process. It will help you make important decisions, from the colour palette to the decorations, and will ensure your wedding is a cohesive and tailored experience for you and your guests.

Wedding Styles

Wedding styles are the overarching look and feel of your wedding. They can be described as the following:

• Rustic: A rustic wedding is all about connecting the celebration to nature. It can take the form of a farm-to-table dinner, a ceremony in a wildflower field, or an intimate exchange of vows in a mountain chalet. Neutral and soft tones, natural elements like wood, lace, foliage, and burlap are often used.
• Boho: Boho weddings are trendy and bold, with an emphasis on achieving an inviting, cool vibe. Tap into natural details like rattan, grass cloth, macramé, pottery, and leather to create a down-to-earth feel.
• Romantic: Romantic weddings create a dreamlike setting with layers of warm colours, lush flowers, and soft fabrics enveloped in candlelight.
• Modern: A modern wedding embraces a minimalist mindset to make a maximum impact. It often includes meticulous attention to detail, clean lines, geometric shapes, and neutral hues.
• Glam: A glam wedding is all about creating a luxurious, once-in-a-lifetime experience with top-notch service and attention to detail. Think crystal chandeliers, elaborate floral arrangements, silk linens, and gold details.
• Country: A mix of rustic, vintage, and Southern styles, with charming, thoughtful, and personal details. Wooden cross-back chairs, wildflower arrangements, gingham prints, and homemade pies are all part of the country style.
• Alternative: An alternative wedding is for eclectic couples who want to think outside the box. It can be inspired by music, movies, or any other unique interest.
• Forest: A forest wedding embraces an earthy colour palette and a whimsical, woodsy feel.
• Fairytale: A fairytale wedding is regal, stately, and charming, often inspired by Disney or Bridgerton.
• Dark/Gothic: A dark or gothic wedding brings in moody, goth, and quirky elements. It often includes a mostly black colour palette, with hints of dark purple and antique gold.
• Garden: A garden wedding is all about the flowers, with a pastel colour palette and a springtime feel.
• Minimalist: A minimalist wedding embraces a pared-down aesthetic with neutral hues and clean lines, often with a hint of greenery.
• Vintage: A vintage wedding focuses on antique details like candelabras, cloche jars, and upholstered velvet furniture. It can be inspired by specific decades like the 1920s or 1950s.
• Celestial: A celestial wedding is inspired by the night sky, with midnight blue and black colours, starry motifs, and sparkly details.
• Art Deco: Reminiscent of the Roaring '20s, with geometric details, glitz, and glamour.
• Beach: A beach wedding is laid-back and breezy, often featuring nautical details like stripes, seashells, and rope.
• Nautical: A nautical wedding celebrates the sea and coastal life with blue and white colours, nautical stripes, and beach motifs.
• Retro: A retro wedding draws inspiration from the '50s and '60s, with bold colours, retro prints, and throwback details like Coke bottles.
• Maximalist: A maximalist wedding embraces abundance, with bright colours, bold patterns, and a celebration of "more is more."
• Moody: A moody wedding is dark, dramatic, and edgy, often with a black colour palette and dramatic floral arrangements.
• Classic: A classic wedding is timeless, formal, and elegant, often featuring white florals and traditional details.
• Travel: A travel-themed wedding is inspired by globetrotting and different cultures, often featuring maps, passports, and travel-inspired decor.
• Whimsical: A whimsical wedding is playful and colourful, perfect for hopeless romantics and kids at heart. It often includes mismatched details, creative entertainment, and interactive elements.
• Natural: A natural wedding focuses on nature-inspired elements like fresh flowers, animals, trees, and botanical components. It usually has a base of white or ivory with deep green, brown, or blue tones.

Wedding Themes

Wedding themes are more specific concepts that build upon the style and can include the following:

• Regency: Inspired by Bridgerton, with palatial settings, lavish linens, ball gowns, and ample florals.
• Disco/70s: A fun and groovy atmosphere with disco balls, neon signs, and colourful confetti.
• Southern/Country-specific: Embracing the charm and hospitality of the South, with comfort food and monogrammed, semi-naked cakes.
• Holiday-specific: Embracing the festive feel of the season, with Christmas trees, candles, and holiday-themed cocktails.
• Festival: A bright and colourful outdoor celebration with live music, games, and street food.
• Tropical: Featuring palm leaves, pink shades, and fruity cocktails.
• Ombré: A vivacious colour palette with a gradient from light to dark, often showcased in flowers and table décor.
• Timeless: An everlasting aesthetic with tasteful, classic elements, usually an all-white colour scheme with fresh flowers and greenery.
• Travel-specific: Inspired by specific places or cultures, with local cuisine, country flags, and travel-themed decor.
• Nautical-specific: Celebrating coastal life with nautical stripes, seashells, rope, and a seaside venue.
• Preppy: Bright colours like pink, green, and navy, with bold patterns, bows, and cheery flowers.
• Gothic: A spooky and mysterious atmosphere with a black colour palette, dark flowers, and candlelight.
• Literary: Highlighting the couple's love of reading with hardback books, classic novel passages, and literary-inspired decor.
• Eco-friendly: Sustainable and environmentally conscious, with biodegradable confetti, recycled paper, plastic-free utensils, and a natural backdrop.

Day-of coordination

• Two pre-wedding consultations to understand your vision and requirements.
• Vendor recommendations to connect you with reliable and suitable suppliers.
• Constructing a detailed wedding day timeline to ensure everything runs smoothly.
• Confirming all details with vendors prior to the wedding, so you don't have to worry about last-minute changes or cancellations.
• Facilitating the ceremony rehearsal to ensure everyone knows their cues and movements.
• On-site coordination and assistance during the wedding, including setup of ceremony and reception, directing the processional, and coordinating with vendors.
• Acting as the point of contact for all vendors, so you don't have to deal with any questions or issues on the day.
• Assisting the wedding party and guests with any needs or concerns.
• Distributing final payments and gratuities to vendors, so you don't have to worry about finances on your big day.
• Providing an emergency kit for any last-minute hiccups or problems.

The cost of a day-of coordinator can vary, but it is important to consider the number of hours they put into your wedding. While they may only be present for eight hours on the actual day, they often start working with you weeks or even months in advance, including venue walkthroughs, timeline planning, vendor confirmation, and more. This can add up to around 40 hours of work, which justifies the price tag.

Frequently asked questions