Getting legally married before the wedding ceremony has become a common choice for couples. There are many reasons why a couple might choose to do this, including wanting to take care of the legal ceremony at home before a destination wedding, reducing anxiety, and being able to focus on their personal vows. Some couples may also choose to get legally married before their wedding due to postponements caused by illness, finances, or other circumstances. While some people may have concerns about the potential deception of getting legally married before the wedding, others argue that it is a personal choice and should be respected as such. Ultimately, the decision to get legally married before the wedding is a matter of personal preference and what works best for the couple.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Reasons | Postponed wedding, destination wedding, pre-wedding jitters, focus on personal vows, surprise wedding, financial/legal reasons, lower wedding day anxiety |
Disclosure | Some couples choose to keep the legal marriage a secret, while others inform close friends and family |
Guest perception | Some guests may feel deceived, especially if they are contributing financially to the wedding, while others may not mind |
What You'll Learn
You can focus on the intimacy of your vows
Getting married is a highly personal experience, and many couples are now choosing to get legally married before their wedding ceremony. This can be for a variety of reasons, such as wanting to focus on the intimacy of their vows.
The vows are a crucial part of a wedding ceremony, and for many couples, they are the most important aspect of the day. By getting legally married beforehand, you can ensure that your vows are shared on a smaller, more intimate scale. This means that you can be more present in the moment and truly focus on the commitment you are making to each other.
With a legal ceremony out of the way, you can choose to have a more relaxed and personalised celebration. You can opt to share vows again during the traditional ceremony, or you might decide to keep certain sentiments for just the two of you.
Benefits of a More Intimate Setting
There is no timeline to stick to, no pressure to rush off for portraits, and no first dance to worry about. You can take your time and be fully present with your partner, making the moment even more special and memorable.
Keeping It Private
If you choose to get legally married before your wedding, you can keep it a secret, or only share the news with those closest to you. This is a personal choice, and some couples prefer to keep the legal ceremony private, saving the public celebration for their wedding day.
A Time for Romance
If you've spent months writing your vows and want to focus on the romance of your special day, getting the legalities out of the way first can be a great option. This way, you can ensure that your wedding day is all about celebrating your love and commitment, without any distractions or added stress.
A Day to Celebrate Your Love
Ultimately, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and commitment to each other. By getting legally married beforehand, you can ensure that your day is exactly how you want it to be and that the focus remains on your vows and the love you share.
So, if you're considering getting legally married before your wedding, remember that it's your day, and you can choose to focus on the intimacy of your vows however you wish.
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You can include people who can't attend your big wedding
Yes, you can get legally married before your wedding ceremony. Many couples choose to get legally married before their wedding celebrations, especially if they are having a destination wedding or have had to postpone their wedding plans.
Including People Who Can't Attend Your Wedding
Now, onto the main topic. There are several ways to include people who can't attend your wedding, ensuring they are acknowledged and celebrated. Here are some ideas to achieve this:
- Use technology: If a family member or friend is unable to attend due to illness or other commitments, consider using video conferencing technology to include them virtually. This way, they can still witness your special day and feel part of the celebration.
- Memorial tables and tributes: If you have lost someone special and they are unable to be with you on your wedding day, consider setting up a memorial table with their framed photos and a meaningful sign or message. Alternatively, you can include an "In Memoriam" section in your ceremony program, light a memorial candle, or have someone read out their names during the ceremony. These gestures honour their memory without making the tone of the celebration somber.
- Bouquet tributes: Another thoughtful way to include someone who can't be there is by incorporating meaningful items into your bouquet. For example, you could attach a key or another small item that belonged to them, wrapping it with your bouquet ribbon. This way, they are symbolically with you as you walk down the aisle.
- Pre-wedding festivities: If someone can't make it to the wedding, they may still be able to participate in the pre-wedding festivities, such as the bachelorette party, bridal shower, or rehearsal dinner. Include them in the planning or ask them to contribute in a special way, so they still feel connected to the celebrations.
- Post-wedding celebrations: Organise a get-together with those who couldn't attend after your honeymoon. This could be an intimate dinner or a casual gathering where you can share your wedding photos, stories, and memories with them.
- Involve them in other ways: If a loved one can't be physically present, find other ways to involve them. For example, you could ask them to contribute a reading or poem that you can include in your ceremony program or display at the reception. Alternatively, you could wear or carry something of theirs, such as a piece of jewellery or a handkerchief, to feel their presence with you.
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You can truly customise your day
Getting legally married before your wedding can be a great way to ensure your wedding day is a true reflection of you as a couple. By taking care of the legalities in advance, you can design your wedding day exactly as you want it, without any restrictions.
For example, you could choose to hang out with your partner all day before walking down the aisle, or even change up the ceremony by not exchanging vows. You could walk with your guests to the ceremony after a cocktail hour, or decide to have no first dance. The possibilities are endless!
You can also choose to have anyone officiate your ceremony. If you are already legally married, you and your officiant have full flexibility to write and structure the ceremony however you want. You can tell stories, share any type of vows, and get introduced however you wish.
Additionally, you can focus on the intimacy of your vows. By getting married before your wedding day, the vows you share will be on a smaller scale, often with just a couple of people present instead of hundreds. There's no timeline, no pressure to get to portraits, and no first dance to think about. It's all about the commitment you are making to each other.
If you're feeling anxious about being the centre of attention, or the thought of public speaking doesn't appeal, getting the legal stuff out of the way first can be a weight off your shoulders. You can still invite your closest friends or family, get dressed up, and make it official, without all the stress and pressure of the big day.
So, if you want to customise your wedding and make it a true reflection of you as a couple, getting legally married beforehand can be a great option.
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It takes the pressure off your big day
There are many reasons why couples choose to get legally married before their wedding ceremony. One of the main reasons is to take the pressure off the big day.
Weddings are often high-pressure and stressful events. By taking care of the legal ceremony ahead of time, couples can rest easy during their wedding celebration, knowing that the serious stuff has already been taken care of. This can be especially helpful for couples who are feeling anxious about their upcoming nuptials. If the thought of saying your vows in front of a large crowd of friends and family is causing you stress, getting the legalities out of the way first can help to reduce your wedding day jitters.
Additionally, if you're planning a destination wedding, there may be a lot of hoops to jump through, such as paperwork, translations, waiting periods, and even blood tests. In some countries, only residents are able to get legally married. By getting legally married before your destination wedding, you can keep things simple and ensure that your wedding day goes off without a hitch.
Another benefit of getting legally married before your wedding is that it gives you more flexibility to customize your wedding day. You can choose to include non-traditional elements or change up your ceremony entirely. For example, you might decide not to exchange vows or include any religious elements. Getting the legalities out of the way first gives you the freedom to design your wedding day to be a complete and total reflection of who you are as a couple without feeling restricted by traditional wedding day norms.
Finally, getting legally married before your wedding can give you the opportunity to include people who may not be able to attend your wedding. For example, if you have older relatives who are unable to travel or if your wedding will be adults-only, you can include them in your legal ceremony. This way, they can still be a part of your special day, even if they can't physically be there on your wedding day.
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You can enjoy the benefits of marriage
There are several benefits to getting married on paper before your wedding ceremony. Here are some reasons why you may want to consider it:
Logistics and Legal Benefits
If you need to be legally married to share insurance policies or other benefits, before a big move or purchase, or if one of you is moving out of the country for work, it makes sense to get the legalities out of the way first. This can also be helpful if you want to align with your beliefs about cohabitation or starting a family.
Customise Your Wedding Day
By getting the legal ceremony out of the way, you can truly customise your wedding day without any restrictions on what needs to be included for it to be legally recognised. You can plan your day however you want, such as having a cocktail hour first or hanging out with your partner all day before walking down the aisle.
Focus on Your Vows
A legal ceremony beforehand will likely be on a much smaller scale, with only a few people present instead of hundreds. This means you can focus on the intimacy of your vows and the commitment you are making to each other without the pressure of a timeline, portraits, or a first dance.
Take the Pressure Off
A wedding day is often a high-pressure, stressful event. By doing the legal ceremony ahead of time, you can take some of the burdens off your shoulders and rest easy during your celebration, knowing that the serious stuff has already been taken care of.
Choose Any Date
Getting legally married before your wedding ceremony gives you the flexibility to choose any date for your wedding celebration. Whether you had to postpone your original date or have a date that's important to you that doesn't work for the actual wedding, you can make that date special by getting married beforehand.
Celebrate Twice!
With two weddings, you can have two anniversaries, two parties, two awesome outfits, and two excuses to enjoy wedding cake! A smaller legal wedding also gives you something to be excited about as you continue planning your big reception.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is not deceptive. Many couples choose to get legally married before their wedding for various reasons, such as logistics, legal requirements, or personal preferences. It is a couple's decision to make based on their unique circumstances.
There are several benefits, including reducing stress, allowing for customization of the wedding day, focusing on intimate vows, including people who can't attend the wedding, and enjoying the benefits of marriage earlier.
Couples may choose to get legally married before their wedding due to destination wedding requirements, anxiety about public speaking, postponed wedding plans, or the desire to focus on personal vows.
No, you don't have to wait. Many couples choose to get legally married before their wedding, especially if they don't want to delay the legal benefits of marriage.
It is a personal decision whether to tell others about getting legally married before the wedding. Some couples choose to keep it private, while others share the news with close friends and family. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide what feels comfortable for them.