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Catholic wedding vows are steeped in rich tradition and religious significance. The exchange of vows is the most important part of a Catholic wedding ceremony, uniting couples in holy matrimony. The Church calls this exchange consent – the act of will by which a man and a woman give themselves to each other, and accept one another. This consent is essential to the sacrament of marriage and the covenant that establishes the couple's union. The wedding ceremony cannot take place without it.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Declaration of Consent | "I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." |
| Exchange of Rings | " [Name], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." |
| Questions | "Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to each other in marriage?" "Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?" "Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" |
| Consent | "I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." |
| For richer or poorer | "I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." |
What You'll Learn
The meaning of 'I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband'
The phrase "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband" is a pivotal part of Catholic wedding vows, and it holds a profound meaning. This declaration is more than just a promise to spend your lives together; it signifies the consent that is essential for a Catholic marriage to be valid. It is an act of will, a deliberate choice by which the couple gives themselves to each other and accepts the gift of their partner. This phrase is a pivotal part of the sacrament of marriage and establishes the couple's union.
By saying these words, the couple is making a commitment to care for, protect, and treasure each other. It is a promise to be there for one another through all life's challenges, whether good or bad, sickness or health, and regardless of financial status. This phrase is also an expression of their willingness to embrace the ups and downs of married life together, recognising that marriage is not always a smooth journey.
The words "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband" also have a legal and spiritual implication, as the couple accepts each other as husband and wife under the law of the land and the eyes of God. This phrase is a cornerstone of the wedding ceremony, and the marriage cannot be solemnised without it. It is a public declaration of their love and commitment, made in front of their families, the community, and, most importantly, God, giving added weight to their promises.
The phrase is also an integral part of the liturgy, officiated by a priest or deacon, and is steeped in the rich tradition of the Catholic Church, with the specific wording approved by the Vatican. While some couples may be tempted to personalise their vows, this is generally discouraged in the Catholic faith to maintain the sanctity and uniformity of the ritual.
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The significance of the phrase 'for better, for worse'
The phrase "for better, for worse" is a standard part of Catholic wedding vows in the US and is included in one of the two versions approved by the Vatican. The phrase is a pledge by the couple to be there for each other not just in the good times but also during the difficult ones. Marriage is not a happy ending but the start of a roller-coaster journey, and every marriage has its ups and downs. By including this phrase in their vows, the couple is promising to stick together and support each other through all the highs and lows that life may bring.
The phrase "for better, for worse" is also a recognition that marriage is not just a bond between two people but a sacred commitment that has to be honoured for a lifetime. It signifies that the couple is prepared to weather any storm together and face whatever challenges may come their way. This promise is made in front of their families, the community, and, most importantly, God, giving more credence to their vows and making them more binding.
The inclusion of this phrase in Catholic wedding vows serves as a reminder that marriage is not always going to be easy, but that the couple is committed to making it work, no matter what life throws their way. It is a promise to love, honour, and cherish each other, whether in good times or bad, in sickness or health. This phrase is a powerful testament to the strength and endurance of the couple's love and their willingness to stand by each other through thick and thin.
While the specific wording of "for better, for worse" may vary slightly across different cultures and religions, the underlying sentiment remains the same: a pledge to stay together and support each other through all of life's ups and downs.
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Why couples say 'for richer, for poorer'
The exchange of vows is the most important part of a Catholic wedding. These proclamations unite Catholic couples in holy matrimony. The Church calls the exchange of vows "consent", which is the act of will by which a man and a woman give themselves to each other and accept each other as a gift. The marriage cannot take place without this declaration of consent.
The "for richer, for poorer" part of the Catholic wedding vows is a promise that the couple makes to each other to stay together and support each other financially, no matter what financial situation they may find themselves in. It is a commitment to be there for each other through thick and thin, regardless of their economic status.
This part of the vow is a recognition that financial difficulties or windfalls can put a strain on a relationship, but also that money is not the most important factor in a marriage. By including "for richer, for poorer" in their vows, the couple is pledging to stick together and work through any financial challenges or changes in their economic situation.
This part of the vow also signifies that the couple's commitment to each other is not based on material possessions or financial stability, but rather on their love and dedication to one another. It is a promise to stay together and support each other, regardless of their financial situation, and to prioritise their relationship above material wealth.
In addition, the "for richer, for poorer" vow can be seen as a spiritual commitment, recognising that true wealth comes from God and that the couple's trust should be in Him rather than in worldly possessions. This part of the vow can serve as a reminder that God will provide for their needs and that their faith should be placed in Him, regardless of their financial circumstances.
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What 'in sickness and in health' means
"In sickness and in health" is a phrase that is part of the traditional wedding vows exchanged during Catholic wedding ceremonies. The phrase is not a biblical vow but rather a pledge that the couple makes to each other. It signifies the couple's commitment to supporting each other through all life's challenges, including physical or mental health issues, accidents, or illnesses.
The full Catholic wedding vows, as approved by the Vatican, are as follows:
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
> I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
In the United States, the vows may also take a slightly different form:
> I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.
The "in sickness and in health" phrase is a promise to choose love and to be sacrificial. It is a recognition that there may be times when one spouse needs to care for the other due to illness or disability. It is a commitment to stand by each other through all of life's challenges and to provide support and assistance when needed.
While these vows are traditionally recited during Catholic wedding ceremonies, they are also used in other Christian denominations, including Lutheran, Anglican, Quaker, and Protestant churches.
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The importance of 'until death do us part'
The phrase "until death do us part" is an integral part of Catholic wedding vows, and its inclusion emphasizes the seriousness and lifelong commitment expected of the couple. The phrase originates from the Bible and is found in the Book of Common Prayer, dating back to 1549, where the original phrase was "till death us depart."
The inclusion of this phrase in Catholic wedding vows is significant as it underscores the Church's stance on the permanence and indissolubility of marriage. For Catholics, divorce has historically been unacceptable for any reason except death. Even today, the Catholic Church does not recognize divorce, and "until death do us part" underscores the belief that only death can separate a married couple.
The phrase also serves as a reminder to the couple that their union is meant to be a lifelong commitment, and they should strive to make their marriage work through the inevitable challenges and difficulties that life may bring. It emphasizes that marriage is not just a legal contract but a sacred covenant entered into willingly and wholeheartedly.
Furthermore, the phrase "until death do us part" highlights the seriousness of the marriage sacrament and the belief that God is the third "person" in the marriage. It signifies that the couple is entering into a covenant not only with each other but also with God, and that their union is blessed and sanctioned by Him.
While societal norms and views on marriage have evolved, and divorce has become a more acceptable part of life, the phrase "until death do us part" remains a powerful testament to the enduring nature of love and commitment expected in a Catholic marriage.
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Frequently asked questions
Catholic wedding vows are a sacred exchange of consent between a couple, uniting them in holy matrimony. The vows are steeped in tradition and affirmed by the Vatican, with two approved versions for couples to choose from.
The standard vow contains six pledges, each with its own significance. The first, "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawful wife/husband", signifies acceptance of each other as a married couple under the law of God and humans. "To have and to hold, from this day forward" denotes a promise of care and protection. "For better, for worse" acknowledges the ups and downs of marriage, pledging support through both. "For richer, for poorer" recognises that financial troubles are common, and a promise to stand by each other through them. "In sickness and in health" is a vow of commitment to stick by your spouse, no matter their state of health. "Until death do us part" signifies the sacred, lifelong nature of the commitment.
The priest or deacon leads the ceremony, asking a series of questions to which the couple respond "I have" or "I am". The priest then asks the couple to declare their consent, either by reciting the vows or responding "I do" to a series of prompts.
While some couples may slightly alter the vows, customisation is generally discouraged. The vows are part of a liturgy administered by the Pope, and no one has the authority to change them within the Church. Couples can, however, pick from the approved vows and add readings, music and cultural traditions to make the ceremony their own.
Vows are said during the celebration of marriage in a Catholic wedding mass, after the Liturgy of the Word.
