Special Friends At Wedding Rehearsal: Who's Invited?

The rehearsal dinner is a special event that usually takes place one or two days before the wedding. It is a more exclusive event with a smaller guest list than the wedding itself. The guest list typically includes the couple, the wedding party, parents, the officiant, and sometimes, extended family. It is also common to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner as a token of appreciation for their travel and time. For destination weddings, it is recommended to invite all guests who have arrived the day before the wedding.

Plus-ones of wedding party members

If you're inviting wedding party members to the rehearsal dinner, it's customary to invite their plus-ones, too. This includes spouses, partners, and significant others.

However, when it comes to plus-ones who are not spouses or long-term partners, opinions vary. Some etiquette experts suggest that if a bridal party member is invited to the wedding with a date, they should also be able to bring that date to the rehearsal dinner. Others argue that the "plus-one" option need only apply on the actual wedding date.

If you're inviting flower girls and ring bearers to the rehearsal dinner, it's generally a good idea to invite their parents, even if the parents aren't in the wedding party.

If you're on a tight budget, it's acceptable to skip inviting plus-ones who are not spouses or long-term partners. However, be prepared for the possibility that the bridal party member may decline the invitation or leave early if their plus-one is not invited.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to invite plus-ones of wedding party members to the rehearsal dinner is up to the couple, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Out-of-town guests

It is common courtesy to invite out-of-town guests to the wedding rehearsal dinner, especially if they have travelled a long way. This is a nice gesture and gives them something to do the night before the wedding. However, it is not obligatory. If you are having a destination wedding, for example, it may be that all your guests are travelling, in which case you may prefer to keep the rehearsal dinner intimate.

If you are inviting out-of-town guests, it is important to be clear about who is included. You could invite only relatives, or only those who are participating in the wedding ceremony. If you are inviting some out-of-town guests and not others, it is best to do so in a clear-cut way to avoid causing offence.

If you do not want to invite all out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner, you could arrange a separate get-together for them, such as a welcome party, cocktails and desserts, or a casual day-after get-together. Alternatively, you could provide a list of local restaurants or set up a meet-and-greet at a hotel or bar.

Extended family

The guest list for the wedding rehearsal dinner should be fairly exclusive. It is not a welcome party or an event where everyone needs to be included. The number of guests can range from 10 to 50 people, depending on the size of the wedding party and the number of out-of-town guests.

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity for the couple to spend quality time with their closest loved ones, including their parents, siblings, and grandparents. It is also a chance for both families to unite and kick off the wedding festivities.

If the families are small, it is acceptable to invite close extended family members such as aunts, uncles, and cousins. However, this is not an obligation. Inviting godparents or other close extended family members is also an option.

For out-of-town guests, it is customary to extend a rehearsal dinner invitation as a token of appreciation for their time and expense in celebrating with the couple. However, this is not mandatory, especially if the wedding is a destination wedding where all guests are travelling. In such cases, hosting a separate welcome party or dessert and drinks gathering after the rehearsal dinner is a thoughtful alternative.

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a special occasion to bring loved ones together and create lasting memories. It is a time to savour and connect with family and friends before the busy schedule of the wedding day.

Parents of young attendants

It is generally considered courteous to invite the parents of young attendants, such as flower girls and ring bearers, to the wedding rehearsal dinner. This is because the rehearsal dinner includes a practice session, and the presence of their parents will likely make young children in the wedding party feel more comfortable. It is also helpful for the parents to watch the rehearsal so that they can help their child prepare.

If the parents of young attendants are also your family members, then it is customary to invite them to the rehearsal dinner. However, it is important to note that the decision to invite them ultimately depends on the couple and their budget.

In some cases, the presence of children at the rehearsal dinner may be a contentious issue, especially if alcohol is being served. It is recommended to discuss this with your partner and gently bring it up with your parents to find a solution that works for everyone.

Anyone with a role in the wedding ceremony

Ceremony readers and performers should also be in attendance. This includes a DJ or live performer, who can use the opportunity to do a soundcheck and ensure all musical cues are correct.

Ushers and wedding officiants should also be invited, along with their spouses or partners.

Frequently asked questions