Mormon Wedding Ceremonies: Who Can Participate?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or the Mormon Church, has strict rules about who can attend wedding ceremonies in their temples. Only members of the Church with a current temple recommend, a card that shows they are deemed worthy of entering the sacred space, can attend. This can cause issues for those with non-Mormon friends and family, who are not allowed to enter the temple and must wait outside. In countries outside of North America, couples can have two ceremonies, one civil and one temple, so that non-Mormon friends and family can attend the former. In North America, however, there must be at least a year between a civil wedding and a temple wedding. In 2019, the Church changed the rules so that couples could hold civil ceremonies right before temple services, meaning non-Mormon friends and family can watch the couple exchange vows and walk down the aisle.

Non-Mormon parents cannot enter the temple

Mormon weddings, or "sealings", are sacred events that can only be attended by members of the Church with current temple recommends. This presents an issue for couples with non-Mormon family members, as they will be unable to witness the wedding ceremony.

To obtain a temple recommend, one must be interviewed by local church leaders and demonstrate that they are abiding by key church teachings. This includes abstaining from coffee, tea, alcohol, and tobacco, staying current with tithes, and faithfully attending church meetings.

The exclusion of non-Mormon family members from temple weddings has caused tension and grief for many families, particularly those with mixed religious affiliations. It can be a difficult decision for couples, as they may feel torn between their desire for a temple wedding and their wish for their loved ones to be present.

Some couples choose to hold civil ceremonies before or after the temple wedding to include their non-Mormon family and friends. However, this is not an option in North America, as there is a mandatory one-year waiting period between a civil marriage and a temple wedding.

The Mormon church has recently relaxed its rules to allow couples to hold civil ceremonies right before temple services, enabling non-Mormon family and friends to witness the exchange of vows and participate in other wedding traditions.

While the change is a step towards inclusion, non-Mormon parents still cannot enter the temple during the wedding ceremony. This can be a challenging situation for all involved and may require careful planning to ensure the day is special for everyone.

It is important for non-Mormon parents to be understanding of their child's religious beliefs and respect the importance of a temple marriage to them. Similarly, couples should be considerate of their parents' feelings and try to include them in other ways throughout the wedding day.

Non-Mormon parents can attend a civil ceremony

In North America, however, this has not been an option, as there is typically a one-year waiting period between a civil marriage and a temple wedding. This has caused pain and division for families, with non-Mormon parents being forced to wait in a temple's chapel area or outside while their child gets married.

In 2019, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints changed this policy, removing the one-year waiting period. Now, couples can marry civilly and then be sealed in a temple ceremony without delay. This change was made to allow more family members to be part of weddings and to prevent exclusion and division.

Civil ceremonies are important to many US members as they are open to everyone, meaning non-Mormon friends and family can witness their loved ones exchange vows and rings. Temple ceremonies, on the other hand, are only open to orthodox Latter-day Saints who hold a current temple recommend.

The change in policy means that non-Mormon parents can now attend their child's wedding without having to wait a year to see the temple sealing. This will hopefully prevent the heartache that many families have experienced in the past due to exclusion from what should be a joyous event.

Non-Mormon parents can attend the reception

If you're a non-Mormon parent, you may be wondering if you can attend your child's wedding ceremony and reception if they are getting married in a Mormon temple. The short answer is no, non-Mormons are not allowed to attend the wedding ceremony inside the temple. However, as a non-Mormon parent, you can still be a part of your child's special day and attend the reception.

The Wedding Ceremony

Mormon wedding ceremonies, or "sealings", are typically held in LDS temples and are considered sacred events open only to members of the Church who hold a current temple recommend. This can be difficult for couples with non-Mormon family and friends, as it means that those without a temple recommend will not be able to attend the ceremony.

The Reception

While non-Mormon parents cannot attend the wedding ceremony, they can still play a role in the wedding day by participating in the reception. Mormon wedding receptions are typically large parties or intimate gatherings that reflect the couple's style and may include traditions such as dancing, a bouquet toss, and a celebratory send-off. The reception may be held in the form of an open house, with guests coming and going throughout the evening to congratulate the couple and their families. The menu for the reception is typically chosen by the couple and can vary, although alcohol, coffee, and tea are not served in accordance with LDS teachings.

Civil Ceremonies

To accommodate non-Mormon family and friends, some couples may choose to hold a civil ceremony before the temple wedding, allowing non-Mormons to watch the couple exchange vows and participate in traditional wedding customs. This option is now available in North America, where there was previously a one-year waiting period between a civil marriage and a temple wedding. While the civil ceremony allows for greater inclusion of non-Mormon loved ones, it is important to note that the temple ceremony remains the most important part of the wedding day for Latter-day Saints.

Non-Mormon parents can be involved in pre-wedding celebrations

While non-Mormon parents are excluded from their child's wedding ceremony, there are still ways they can be involved in the lead-up to the big day.

In the case of a couple where one partner is Mormon and the other is not, the non-Mormon partner's parents may feel hurt that they are unable to attend the ceremony. In this case, it's important to remember that the exclusion is not personal and that even some Mormon parents are unable to attend their child's wedding if they are deemed "not worthy".

Non-Mormon parents can still be involved in pre-wedding celebrations such as engagement parties, wedding showers, and rehearsal dinners. These events can be a great opportunity for the parents to spend quality time with the couple and offer their support and well-wishes.

In some cases, couples may choose to have a civil ceremony in addition to the temple wedding, allowing non-Mormon parents and friends to be part of the celebration. This option is more common in countries outside of North America, where weddings are required to be public events. In North America, those who participate in a civil marriage must wait at least a year before having a temple wedding.

It's important to note that the decision to have a civil ceremony may be met with resistance or disapproval from the Mormon community, as it is seen as a mark of being a "good Mormon" to exclude inactive or non-member family members. However, this tradition has not always been the case, and there are efforts by some faithful Mormons to encourage leaders to reconsider this policy.

Ultimately, while non-Mormon parents may not be able to attend the temple wedding ceremony, they can still play a meaningful role in the pre-wedding celebrations and offer their love and support to the couple.

Non-Mormon parents can be involved in post-wedding celebrations

While non-Mormon parents are not allowed to participate in the wedding ceremony, they can still be involved in the post-wedding celebrations. Here are some ways to include them:

Wedding Reception

Mormon wedding receptions are typically large parties or intimate gatherings that reflect the couple's style. Non-Mormon parents can be involved in the planning and execution of the reception. They can help with choosing the location, decorations, food, and other details. The reception may include dancing, a bouquet toss, and a celebratory send-off. Non-Mormon parents can participate in these activities and enjoy the festivities with the newlyweds and other guests.

Open House Reception

LDS receptions are often held in an open house style, where guests are invited to come and go throughout the evening to congratulate the couple and their families. Non-Mormon parents can play a crucial role in hosting this event, welcoming guests, and ensuring everyone has a memorable time.

Second Wedding Reception

In some cases, the couple may choose to host a second wedding reception after the honeymoon. This is especially common when the families reside in different locations. Non-Mormon parents can take the lead in planning and organising this reception, allowing them to celebrate with their extended family and friends who could not attend the initial festivities.

Post-Wedding Traditions

Non-Mormon parents can also be involved in other post-wedding traditions and celebrations. They can participate in activities such as the bouquet toss, giving toasts or speeches, and sharing special dances with the newlyweds. These moments allow them to feel included and create lasting memories with their child and new in-laws.

Financial Support

If non-Mormon parents are financially contributing to the wedding, they can discuss their expectations and how they would like to allocate the funds. They may offer to use their local church buildings for the reception or other wedding-related events, eliminating the need for additional venue fees.

Frequently asked questions