Lyla Dejesus
The concept of a bridal party has evolved, and today, it is not uncommon for brides to have male friends or family members standing by their side at the altar. This male equivalent of a bridesmaid is often referred to as a bridesman or man of honor. This shift towards co-ed wedding parties reflects a more personalised and inclusive approach, allowing couples to be surrounded by their closest friends and family, regardless of gender. While some may view this as a break from tradition, it is a way for couples to showcase their individuality and celebrate their special day with those they love and cherish.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Role | Support the bride and groom |
| Who Chooses | The bride |
| Relationship to Bride | Relative or close friend |
| Attire | Same suit as groomsmen with an accessory or a suit that blends with the bridal party color scheme |
| Flowers | Boutonniere that complements the bridesmaid bouquets |
| Pre-Wedding Activities | Joint bachelor/bachelorette parties, bridal luncheons, and spa days |
| Processional | Single-file, or walking side-by-side with the best man |
| Recessional | Walk with the best man, escort a bridesmaid, walk with the ring bearer or flower girls, or escort the bride's parents |
| Toasts | Typically still asked to give a toast |
What You'll Learn
Men can be bridesmaids, too, and they're called bridesmen
It's your wedding, so ultimately, it's your day to plan as you wish. Traditions are no longer a must when planning your wedding ceremony and reception, and that includes who makes the cut in your wedding party. If you want a male friend or family member to stand by your side at the altar, you can absolutely have them as part of your bridal party. These male members of the bridal party are often referred to as bridesmen.
A bridesman is the male equivalent of a bridesmaid. He is chosen by the bride to be a member of the bridal party and is often a relative or close friend. The most important thing is that he is part of the bride's support system and a close confidant.
The role of a bridesman is similar to that of a maid or matron of honour, in that their primary role is to support the bride and groom. However, specific duties can be tweaked to make the experience more comfortable and fun for the bridesman. For example, if certain duties make him unwilling to participate, the bride can delegate these tasks to other members of the bridal party.
A bridesman's attire can either coordinate with the other men in the wedding party or with the other attendants on the bride's side. For instance, if the groomsmen are wearing grey suits and the bridesmaids are wearing navy dresses, the bridesman might wear a navy suit. Alternatively, if the couple wants all the suits to match, the bridesman could wear a tie or pocket square that sets him apart.
If you're only including one man in your bridal party, it's important to ensure he feels included. Organise bonding activities for the whole wedding party, such as a game night or an afternoon at a street festival. Avoid gendered activities that might alienate certain members. It's also a good idea to encourage the bridesman to participate fully in pre-wedding activities, such as bachelorette parties, although these can be made gender-neutral by combining events, such as a co-ed wedding shower.
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The bride chooses the bridesman
Responsibilities
The bridesman's role and responsibilities can be similar to those of the bridesmaids, offering emotional support to the bride and helping with wedding projects. The bridesman can also be involved in the bridal shower and bachelorette party, although these events may be combined into a co-ed celebration to make his inclusion easier.
Attire
The attire of a bridesman can be coordinated to match the rest of the bridal party. He can either wear the same suit as the groomsmen, adding an accessory that matches the colour scheme of the bridesmaids' dresses, or he can wear a suit that blends in with the bridal party's colour scheme. The boutonnière can be matched with the bridesmaids' flowers, or he can even carry his own bouquet.
Pre-Wedding Activities
It is important to ensure that the bridesman feels included in pre-wedding activities and has the opportunity to bond with the rest of the bridal party. This can be achieved through casual lunches, happy hours, or joint bachelor-bachelorette outings.
On the Wedding Day
On the day of the wedding, the bridesman can be included in photo opportunities with the bride and bridesmaids. He can also help with last-minute errands, such as picking up items from the store, and be there for the morning-after brunch to wrap up the celebrations.
The role of the bridesman is a unique and special way to include a male friend or family member in the bridal party, offering a modern twist to the traditional bridal party lineup.
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The bridesman's attire
Matching the Groomsmen
The bridesman can wear the same suit as the groomsmen, with a coordinating accessory that matches the bridesmaids' dresses. For example, he could wear a tie, bow tie, or pocket square in a colour that complements the bridesmaids' outfits. This approach helps create a cohesive look for the entire wedding party.
Blending with the Bridal Party Colour Scheme
Instead of matching the groomsmen, the bridesman can wear a suit that blends in with the overall bridal party colour scheme. This could be a suit in a similar colour to the bridesmaids' dresses or a shade that complements the overall wedding colour palette.
Boutonniere and Floral Accessories
The bridesman can wear a boutonniere that matches the bridesmaids' flowers. Alternatively, he can have a boutonniere in a similar shade as the bridesmaids' bouquets. If the bridesman wants to stand out, he can even carry his own bouquet if he and the bride are both open to the idea.
Creative Attire Options
For a modern twist, the bride can opt for a creative fashion statement by having the bridesman and bridesmaids wear similar masculine-inspired formalwear. For instance, the bridesman and bridesmaids can rock tailored tuxedos in the same colour, with the women's tuxedos featuring feminine touches.
Pre-Wedding Attire
When it comes to pre-wedding activities and the morning of the wedding, the bridesman may prefer to style his hair and makeup himself. The bride can provide high-end products for him to use and include him in the morning mimosas and breakfast before the primping begins. If the bridesman prefers, the bride can also schedule some dedicated time with him before the wedding preparations to ensure he feels included.
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The bridesman's responsibilities
The role of a bridesman is to support the bride and be her confidant. Bridesmen are usually close friends or relatives of the bride, and they are chosen to be part of the bridal party instead of a bridesmaid.
Pre-Wedding
- Help plan pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
- Offer a male perspective and advice when needed.
- Attend dress fittings and offer an opinion.
- Help with wedding projects, such as making favours or setting up decorations.
- Be included in all pre-wedding communication to ensure you are involved in the planning process.
On the Wedding Day
- Assist the bride in getting ready, ensuring her dress and accessories are in order.
- Handle any last-minute emergencies or requests.
- Walk down the aisle with a bridesmaid or have a solo entrance.
- Give a speech or reading during the ceremony.
- Run any last-minute errands, such as picking up extra supplies.
- Be included in photo opportunities with the bride and bridal party.
- Get the dancing started at the reception and interact with guests.
Post-Wedding
- Attend the morning-after brunch to celebrate with the couple and other guests.
- Check in with the bride after the wedding to discuss favourite memories and moments.
The role of a bridesman is similar to that of a bridesmaid, offering emotional support and practical help. The main difference is that a bridesman can add a unique and personal touch to the bridal party, showcasing the importance of male friendships and breaking away from traditional gender roles.
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Pre-wedding activities and events
Engagement Party
An engagement party is often the first pre-wedding event and can be hosted by family or friends, or both! It's common to have more than one engagement party, especially if you have loved ones in different cities. Unlike wedding showers, engagement parties don't require guests to bring gifts, but you may still receive a few. It's important to only include guests who will also be invited to the wedding.
Bridal Shower/Wedding Shower
Bridal showers, also known as wedding showers, are parties that honour the couple with fun games, food, and gifts. This can take the form of a couple's shower, where both the bride and groom are present, or a bridal shower, which is typically an all-female event. There's also the option of a "stock the bar" party, where guests provide alcohol and barware for the happy couple. Wedding showers are usually hosted by close friends or family of the bride or groom, and it's acceptable to have more than one. The guest list for these events usually includes the wedding party and close friends and family.
Bachelorette/Bachelor Party
The bachelor/bachelorette party is a fun way for the bride/groom to celebrate with their bridal party. These celebrations can take many forms, from a relaxing staycation to a destination trip or a weekend visit to a favourite city. It's important to communicate about budget and activities in advance to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Bridal Brunch/Bridesmaids Luncheon
The bridal brunch, also known as a bridesmaids luncheon, is typically hosted a few days before the wedding. This event is an opportunity for the bride to thank the women who have helped with wedding planning by hosting the event or providing gifts. Mothers, in-laws, or other female relatives can also host or co-host this event, and it's customary to allow them to invite a few friends who are attending the wedding.
Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner is a gathering that allows the wedding party and families to get acquainted. This is usually the largest event before the wedding and can require substantial planning in terms of location, timing, host, invitation list, and décor. While optional, a well-organized rehearsal dinner can be beneficial and fun!
Welcome Party
A welcome party is a great way to kick off the wedding festivities and give guests, especially those from out of town, a chance to meet and mingle before the main event. It can be held after the rehearsal dinner or in its place, and can be as simple or extravagant as you like. This event is open to all wedding guests but doesn't require their attendance.
Other Activities
Depending on the location of your wedding, you can plan other pre-wedding activities such as a cooking class, a guided hike, a sound bath or yoga session, a group race, or even a scavenger hunt to get everyone exploring the area. For destination weddings, boat excursions or horseback riding can be memorable experiences for your guests.
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Frequently asked questions
A bridesman is the male equivalent of a bridesmaid. He is chosen by the bride to be a member of the bridal party and is often a relative or close friend.
A bridesman's attire can be the same suit as the groomsmen with an accessory, such as a tie, bow tie, pocket square, or boutonnière, that matches the bridesmaids. Alternatively, the bridesman can wear a suit that blends in with the bridal party's colour scheme.
The primary role of a bridesman is the same as that of a maid or matron of honour—to support the bride and groom. Some specific duties may include planning the bachelorette party, keeping track of vendors, and toasting the couple. The bride can also delegate tasks to other members of the bridal party if certain duties don't align with the bridesman's strengths or personality.
Create opportunities for your mixed-gender wedding party to bond through activities such as game nights or attending local festivals. Treat everyone equally and encourage the bridesman to participate fully in pre-wedding activities, including bachelorette parties or bridal showers.
