Catholic Weddings: Alcohol, Drinking, And Your Options

Alcohol is not forbidden in Catholicism, but drunkenness is considered a grave sin. Jesus drank wine, and his first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Many saints also relished a good happy hour. Catholics are therefore welcome to drink and appreciate alcohol, but in moderation.

Catholic wedding requirements

For Catholics, marriage, or holy matrimony, is a religious sacrament. As such, it often involves specific, time-honoured rituals. There are several requirements that couples must keep in mind before they can get approved for a Catholic wedding.

Firstly, couples may be required to submit certain documents, participate more in church activities, and go through an intensive marriage preparation process with a priest. This process can take anywhere from six months to a year, so it is recommended that couples save ample lead time for marriage prep. During this time, couples will meet with a priest for counselling sessions to discuss current and potential issues in the relationship, including finances, future in-laws, and social behaviours. Interfaith marriages must also be disclosed during this time, and it is important to note that the Catholic partner has an obligation to raise any children as Catholics.

In addition to the marriage preparation process, the church will also conduct a prenuptial investigation, which includes an individual interview with each partner conducted by a priest under oath. This interview aims to establish the couple's understanding of the four basic tenets of marriage: entering into it freely, permanence, exclusivity, and being open to children. If either partner has been previously married, some churches may not perform the ceremony unless the previous marriage ended in annulment or the ex-spouse is deceased.

Once all requirements have been met and the necessary preparations completed, the couple can begin planning the structure of their wedding ceremony. They may choose to have a full mass or a shortened ceremony and will work with the priest to determine the readings, speakers, and other details. It is important to note that Catholic weddings do not allow outdoor ceremonies, and the dress code for both the couple and the wedding party may have specific requirements as well.

While there are many requirements and traditions to consider when planning a Catholic wedding, the availability and consumption of alcohol is not specifically addressed in the Catholic doctrine. However, it is worth noting that the Catholic Church cautions against excessive drinking, considering drunkenness a form of gluttony and a grave sin. Ultimately, the decision to serve alcohol at a Catholic wedding reception may depend on the preferences of the couple and their guests, as well as any local laws or regulations pertaining to alcohol service.

Drinking alcohol as a Catholic

Drinking alcohol is not prohibited in Catholicism, and alcohol is often present at Catholic weddings. However, drunkenness is considered a grave sin in Catholicism, as it is a form of gluttony.

Jesus drank wine, and his first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. In the Bible, Paul instructed Timothy to "no longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments". Present-day research also indicates that drinking wine has health benefits.

However, the Bible also contains warnings against drunkenness. For example, Paul warned against "reveling and drunkenness", and Peter taught that "drunkenness" was something that Gentiles liked to do.

In conclusion, while drinking alcohol is not prohibited for Catholics, excessive drinking is considered a sin. Catholics are encouraged to drink in moderation and avoid drunkenness.

Catholic wedding venues

For centuries, it has been against Catholic canon law to get married anywhere outside of a Catholic church. However, the clergy is starting to make some changes, with the Archdiocese of Montana and the Archdiocese of Baltimore, Maryland, now allowing weddings to take place in "another suitable place". This includes museums, barns, fields, homes, and high school or college chapels.

Despite these changes, there are still some venues that are off-limits, such as nightclubs, bars, and casinos. Weddings also cannot take place on boats.

In the Catholic faith, the church is considered a sacred place where Christ is present, and matrimony is believed to be a covenant with God. Therefore, the only place a wedding ceremony can be administered is indoors, inside a church, to emphasise the sanctity of the ceremony.

If you're planning a Catholic wedding, it's important to keep in mind that different dioceses may have different requirements. Some parishes are stricter when it comes to documents, and some priests may prefer more intensive couple coaching. It's best to reach out to the parish where you intend to get married, especially if it's in a different location from where you live.

Before a couple can get approved for a Catholic wedding, they may be required to submit certain documents, participate more in church activities, and go through an intensive marriage preparation process with a priest. This process can take up to nine months to a year, so it's important to plan accordingly.

During the marriage preparation process, couples will be guided on what the church teaches about marriage and will be asked about current and potential issues in their relationship, including handling finances, navigating future in-laws, and social behaviours. If any "impediments" are found, the priest may recommend a session with a psychologist before moving forward.

In addition to the marriage preparation process, the church will also need to confirm the couple's understanding of the basic tenets of marriage: that it is entered into freely, is permanent, exclusive, and open to children.

While the specifics of a Catholic wedding ceremony will vary depending on the diocese, there are some common elements. For example, Catholic weddings typically include a full mass and communion, which can take up to an hour. The ceremony also usually includes set vows, rather than personalised ones.

In terms of attire, Catholic churches typically require more modest cuts and garments, with plunging necklines, sheer panels, deep-back gowns, and high slits generally not allowed.

While drinking alcohol is not considered a sin in the Catholic Church, excessive drinking is cautioned against. Therefore, if you're planning to serve alcohol at your Catholic wedding, it's important to do so in moderation.

Catholic wedding dress code

For those planning a Catholic wedding, it's important to note that the dress code is typically more modest and conservative. Here are some guidelines for the wedding dress code:

For the Couple:

If you're getting married in a Catholic church, it's essential to choose a wedding dress that adheres to the modest dress code. Avoid plunging necklines, sheer panels, deep-back gowns, and high slits. These styles can be reserved for the reception if desired. Some churches may also require the bride to cover her shoulders, so it's best to ask about any specific requirements before shopping for a wedding dress. A complementary shawl, wrap, or cover can be incorporated into the bridal look to ensure modesty.

For the Wedding Party:

The Catholic Church often requests that the maid or matron of honour and the best man be of the Catholic faith. It's crucial to confirm this with the priest and how it may impact your bridal party choices. Some couples may also prefer to assign more gender-fluid roles, such as a "Best Woman" for the groom or a "Man of Honour" for the bride. Be sure to discuss these options with your priest to ensure they align with the church's guidelines.

For the Guests:

When attending a Catholic wedding as a guest, it is essential to dress respectfully and modestly. While there may not be a strict dress code, guests should avoid revealing or provocative attire. Both men and women should opt for elegant and conservative outfits that are not too flashy or attention-grabbing. It is also important to note that some Catholic weddings may involve attending mass, so guests should dress accordingly.

In addition to the dress code, it is worth noting that alcohol is not prohibited at Catholic weddings. While excessive drinking is considered a sin, moderate consumption is acceptable. Couples can decide whether to serve alcohol at their reception, and guests can choose to drink responsibly if they wish.

Catholic wedding ceremony structure

A Catholic wedding ceremony is a rich and traditional affair, with specific rituals and requirements. Here is a detailed breakdown of the structure of a Catholic wedding ceremony:

The Processional

The processional marks the beginning of the ceremony and sets the tone for the celebration. The groom and best man typically enter from the side of the church, followed by the bridesmaids and groomsmen escorting each other up the aisle. The maid of honour then enters alone, followed by the bride, who is escorted by her father or another male family member. Alternatively, the bride and groom may choose to enter the church together with their wedding party and priest, either accompanied by their respective parents or alone.

The Priest's Greeting

After the processional, the priest greets the wedding guests and invites everyone to join in singing an opening hymn, often "Gloria". The assembly remains standing for the processional, hymn, and opening prayer. The priest then offers an opening prayer for the newlyweds, after which the assembly may be seated.

The Liturgy of the Word

The Liturgy of the Word includes several readings from the Bible, recited by the priest or designated friends or family members. It begins with a reading from the Old Testament, often from the book of Genesis. This is followed by a responsorial psalm, where the cantor and congregation speak or sing verses and responses. Next is a reading from the New Testament, followed by a passage from one of the Gospels. The Liturgy of the Word concludes with a homily, where the priest reflects on the readings and their relation to marriage. The assembly stands only for the gospel reading and remains seated for the other readings.

The Exchange of Vows

The exchange of vows is a crucial part of the ceremony, where the couple publicly declares their intent and consent to be married. The vows may be memorised or read from a book, and some priests allow couples to write their own vows or add personal touches. The assembly stands for the entire Rite of Marriage, including the vow exchange and the subsequent ring ceremony.

The Exchange of Rings and Blessings

After the vows, the couple exchanges wedding rings, which are blessed by the priest as symbols of love and fidelity. The priest may invite the couple to exchange a kiss during this time or during the sign of peace. Some regional customs include the exchange of coins, known as "las arras matrimoniales".

The Nuptial Mass (Optional)

If the couple chooses to include a nuptial mass, the ceremony takes on the structure of a traditional Sunday mass. The altar is prepared for the Liturgy of the Eucharist (communion), and special family members or friends may be chosen to present the gifts of bread and wine to the priest. An offertory song is sung, and a collection for money donations may be taken. The priest then delivers the Eucharistic prayers, and the assembly kneels.

The Lord's Prayer and Sign of Peace

The congregation stands to recite or sing the Lord's Prayer in unison. The newlyweds then kneel before the altar to receive their nuptial blessing from the priest, while the assembly may join in silent prayer, offering their own blessings. The guests and wedding party exchange a sign of peace, typically a handshake or kiss, with the traditional greeting, "Peace be with you."

Communion

Communion, also known as the Eucharist, symbolises the Last Supper and is open only to Catholic guests. Non-Catholic guests may come forward for a blessing by crossing their arms over their chests or remain seated/kneeling and send their well wishes silently.

Nuptial Blessing and Dismissal

The priest offers a final prayer and blessing for the newly married couple and the entire congregation. The marriage license may be signed at this time, depending on the couple's preference. The priest then dismisses the assembly, and the recessional, or exit of the wedding party, takes place in reverse order of the processional. The recessional may include the ministers and is usually accompanied by a festive song or instrumental music.

Frequently asked questions