The Man Of Honor: A Wedding's Alternative Best Man

A man of honour is a male version of a maid of honour, a role traditionally filled by a woman. The man of honour is usually the bride's best male friend or a close male relative, such as a brother or cousin. The role involves supporting the bride and groom, as well as taking on some of the traditional duties of a maid of honour, such as planning pre-wedding events and giving a speech. The man of honour can also provide a unique perspective on the wedding planning process and make the bridal party more fun and memorable.

Man of honour vs best man

A man of honour is a non-traditional role in a wedding party, where a male takes on the role and responsibilities of a maid of honour. This role is becoming increasingly common as weddings become more personalised and less traditional. A man of honour is usually a close male friend or family member of the bride, such as a brother, cousin, or adult son.

The man of honour has the same role and responsibilities as a maid of honour, including planning the bridal shower, keeping track of vendors, and giving a toast at the reception. However, some of these duties can be tweaked to make the experience more comfortable and enjoyable for a male participant. For example, the man of honour may prefer to skip certain events such as dress fittings or an all-girls bachelorette party.

The man of honour can also be included in traditionally female-centric events by making them co-ed, such as a co-ed bridal shower or joint bachelor/bachelorette party. On the wedding day, the man of honour's attire can be coordinated with either the groomsmen or the bridesmaids, or a combination of both. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing grey suits and the bridesmaids navy dresses, the man of honour could wear a navy suit or a grey suit with a navy tie.

Now, when comparing a man of honour vs a best man, the main difference is that the best man is on the groom's side, while the man of honour is on the bride's side. The best man is usually a close friend or relative of the groom, and his primary role is to support the groom on the wedding day and during the planning process. The best man's responsibilities may include organising the groom's bachelor party, helping the groom get ready on the wedding day, and giving a speech at the reception.

In terms of distinguishing a man of honour from a best man at a wedding, traditionally, the best man would wear a tie the same colour as the groomsmen, while the man of honour would wear a tie the same colour as the bridesmaids' dresses. However, there is no fixed rule, and the couple can choose to differentiate them in any way they prefer, such as by using different boutonnieres or vest colours.

Planning pre-wedding events

Engagement Party

The engagement party is often one of the first pre-wedding celebrations and is a great way to share your excitement and announce your upcoming nuptials to your loved ones. This event usually takes place within three months of the engagement, and it can be hosted by one or both families or even close friends. There aren't many rules for this party, so feel free to get creative! It can be a cocktail party, a gathering at someone's home, or any unique theme you desire. Just remember that anyone invited to the engagement party will expect an invitation to the wedding.

Bridal Shower

The bridal shower is typically an all-female celebration honouring the bride, with guests bringing gifts and food. However, some couples opt for a couple's shower, which is less traditional and more gender-neutral. This event is usually planned by the maid of honour or man of honour, with help from the bridesmaids or groomsmen. It can be as fancy or casual as the couple chooses and is often held at the host's home or a small venue. The bridal shower usually takes place a few weeks to three months before the wedding, during the day, over brunch or lunch.

Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties

The bachelorette and bachelor parties are held separately by the wedding parties to celebrate the bride and groom. These parties can be wild nights out, relaxing spa visits, or even weekend getaways. They are typically planned by the maid of honour or man of honour and can be tailored to the guest of honour's personality and style. These events usually occur about a month or two before the wedding but can be flexible. Just avoid scheduling them too close to the wedding date, as the couple will likely have many last-minute preparations.

Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is usually the final celebration before the wedding and is held immediately after the wedding rehearsal. It can be an intimate gathering or a larger event for all guests and is often a more relaxed affair than the actual wedding. This event is generally hosted and paid for by the groom's family, but the couple can alter this to their preference. It is an opportunity for close relatives and friends to give speeches and spend quality time with the couple before the big day.

Bridesmaid Luncheon

The bridesmaid luncheon is an optional but intimate gathering for members of the bridal party. It is often held the day before the wedding or earlier if all bridesmaids live nearby. The bride traditionally hosts this event and invites the bridesmaids, flower girls, mothers of the bride and/or groom, and other close female relatives. It is a chance to thank the bridesmaids, present them with gifts, and enjoy a relaxing meal before the wedding festivities begin.

Other Ideas

• Stag and Doe (or Jack and Jill): This event is typically held about two months before the wedding or earlier and is a fundraiser to help pay for wedding expenses.
• Wedding Welcome Party: This celebration is for out-of-town wedding guests and can be paired with the rehearsal dinner if it occurs the night before the wedding.

Wedding-day duties

A man of honour is a male who holds the role traditionally filled by a "maid of honour". This role can be crucial if the bride's best friend or confidante is male. The man of honour's wedding day duties include:

Planning Pre-Wedding Events

Planning pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party can be overseen by the man of honour. Instead of a traditional bridal shower, he could throw a couple's shower, and for the bachelorette party, he could plan a trip to a fun city like Vegas or New Orleans.

Wrangling on the Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, the man of honour will be in charge of keeping the bride calm and ensuring everything runs smoothly. This could include directing the photographer, checking the pianist has arrived on time, and ensuring the bride has an extra pair of pantyhose and her favourite perfume.

Giving a Speech

The man of honour will likely be expected to make a speech at the reception, like a maid of honour. This could include speaking about the special relationship he shares with the bride.

Choosing Attire

The man of honour's attire can coordinate with the other men in the wedding party or the other attendants on the bride's side. For example, if the groomsmen are wearing grey suits and the bridesmaids are wearing navy dresses, the man of honour might wear a navy suit. If the couple wants all the suits to match, the man of honour could wear a tie or pocket square that sets him apart.

Planning the Processional

The man of honour can walk with the best man, escort a bridesmaid, walk with the ring bearer or flower girls, or escort the bride's parents during the processional and recessional. Ultimately, the bridal couple can decide what makes sense for them.

The man of honour's speech

A "man of honour" is a male who holds the role traditionally called "maid of honour". It is an increasingly popular choice for brides who want to include their best male friend or a male family member in their bridal party. The man of honour's duties are similar to those of a maid of honour, including planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party, keeping track of vendors, and giving a speech.

Now, here is a suggested speech for a man of honour:

"Hello everyone! Thank you all for being here to celebrate [bride] and [groom]. For those of you who don't know me, I'm [name], the man of honour, and [relationship] to the bride.

I've known [bride] since [year] when we were [age] and [describe your relationship]. I remember when [bride] first met [groom], she couldn't stop talking about him. I knew right then that they were meant to be.

[Groom], you are so lucky to have [bride] in your life. She is [compliment] and [compliment]. I remember one time when [bride] [did something kind for you or helped you through a difficult time].

[Bride] and [groom], your love has brought us all so much joy, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. Please join me in raising a glass to the happy couple! Cheers!"

A man of honour's speech can be personalised to the individual and the relationship they have with the bride. It is a chance to share fond memories, offer well-wishes, and celebrate the love between the newlyweds.

The man of honour's attire

A man of honour typically wears the same attire as the groomsmen. The only difference is that his tie might match the colour of the bridesmaids' dresses, or his boutonnière the bridesmaids' flowers. He does not carry a bouquet.

If you are the bride, it is a good idea to check with your fiancé first to make sure he is comfortable with this new tradition.

Frequently asked questions