Wedding Invite Etiquette: Sending To Someone's Parents' Home

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few etiquette rules to follow, especially when it comes to addressing them to a family. If you are sending an invitation to a family with children under the age of 18, the outer envelope should be addressed to the parent(s) or guardian(s). The inner envelope is where you would list the names of the children. For girls under 18, you can use Miss as a title, while boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as Mr. If you are inviting a family with children over the age of 18, each child should receive their own invitation, unless they are living at home with their parents, in which case you can follow the same format as a family with younger children.

Sending invites to adult children living with parents

When sending wedding invitations, it's important to follow certain etiquette rules to ensure your guests feel welcome and respected. Here are some guidelines for sending invitations to adult children living with their parents:

Inviting Adult Children Living With Parents

It is generally recommended to send separate invitations to adult children living with their parents, even if they are not bringing partners or dates. This is because each adult should be recognised as an independent individual, and a group invitation could be seen as insulting or treating them like children. Sending individual invitations also avoids confusion about who is specifically invited.

Addressing the Invitations

When addressing the envelopes, the outer envelope should be formal, including titles ("Mr.", "Mrs.", "Miss", etc.) and full names. The inner envelope is more informal, where you can use first names only or a combination of titles and last names. If the adult child is over 18, they should be included by name on the inner envelope. If they are under 18, their names are not required, but if you choose not to include them, be aware that some guests may still assume their children are invited.

Practical Considerations

While sending individual invitations is proper etiquette, it can become impractical when sending multiple invitations to the same address. In such cases, it may be acceptable to send a single invitation addressed to the parents and their family, especially if communication about the number of attendees is not an issue. However, it is important to be clear about who is invited, especially if you do not want children at the wedding. You can mention this on your wedding website or ask family members to help spread the word.

Addressing invites to unmarried couples

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few etiquette rules to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to include both partners' names on the invitation, even if you are closer to one half of the couple. This is because established couples, regardless of their marital status, are considered a social unit. Writing both names also avoids any confusion about who is invited.

When addressing the envelope for an unmarried couple who lives together, the secret cue that they are not married is to write their names independently on two lines without the word "and". For example:

Mr. John Francis Smith

Ms. Anna Brown

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a wedding invitation to each person. However, it has become more acceptable to send one invitation to the primary invited guest and include the significant other's name on the inner envelope. Alternatively, you can write "and guest" on the invitation if you are unable to learn the other guest's name.

In the case of inviting roommates to your wedding, traditional etiquette dictates that each person should receive their own invitation. This is to ensure that each adult is recognised as an independent individual and not a dependent.

Sending invites to parents who have contributed to the wedding

When it comes to wedding invites, there are a few things to consider. While it may seem odd to send invites to your parents and in-laws, it is recommended to do so. They will likely be the only ones, aside from yourself, to keep them as a memento. It is also a nice gesture to send invites to those who have contributed to the wedding financially, or otherwise. This can be a way to show your appreciation and make them feel included in the celebration.

If your parents are contributing financially to your wedding, it is common to recognise and thank them for their support. This can be done in a few ways, such as listing them as hosts on the invitation, giving them a special mention during a speech, or presenting them with a thoughtful gift. It is not necessary to advertise who has paid for what, but showing gratitude to those who have contributed is always a nice touch.

When addressing the invitations, it is proper etiquette to send individual invitations to all adults, even if they are living with their parents. This includes adult children and adult siblings. By sending individual invitations, you are recognising their independence and avoiding any confusion about who is invited. It is also a nice way to make each person feel valued and respected.

In the case of divorced parents, it is important to set boundaries and communicate your expectations clearly. If one of your parents has a new partner, you may consider extending an invitation to them as well. However, it is not a requirement, especially if the relationship is new and casual. If your parents are contributing financially to the wedding, it is polite to allow them to bring a guest, even if it is a new partner.

When it comes to allowing parents to invite guests, it is common to give them a certain number of seats or a percentage of the guest list. This can be a nice way to include people who are important to your parents, such as close friends or long-time colleagues. However, it is essential to set clear boundaries and ensure that the guest list aligns with your vision for the wedding.

In conclusion, sending wedding invites to parents and in-laws is a thoughtful gesture, especially if they have contributed to the wedding in some way. It is also important to follow proper etiquette when addressing invitations and to handle any unique situations, such as divorced parents or plus-ones, with empathy and clear communication. Remember, the key is to make everyone feel valued and included in the celebration while staying true to your own vision and boundaries.

Addressing invites to families with young children

When addressing wedding invites to families with young children, there are a few options to consider. If the children are under 18, it is typical to list their names on the inner envelope only, not the outer envelope. For girls, the title "Miss" is used, while boys under 18 do not require a title. On the other hand, adult children over 18 should receive their own invitations, with their full formal names on the outer envelope and the honorific "Mr." or "Ms." on the inner envelope.

If you prefer a less formal approach, you can address the invitation to "The [Last Name] Family". This implies an open invitation to the entire family, but it may not be suitable if you want to be clear about who is invited. Alternatively, you can address the outer envelope to "Mr. & Mrs. [Last Name]" and list the children's names underneath, similar to how you would on an inner envelope.

When inviting children, it is essential to be explicit if they are not invited. Simply omitting their names may not be clear enough for some guests. It is recommended to mention on your wedding website that children are not invited and provide a reason if you think it is necessary.

Addressing invites to distinguished guests

When addressing wedding invitations to guests with distinguished titles, it is proper etiquette to address them by that title on the envelope. This includes guests with military titles, judges, doctors, lawyers, and other professional titles.

If a couple has the same last name, you can list them together using the husband's first and last name, followed by "Mrs.":

> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren

If the couple is sensitive to this, you can also write:

> Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren

For a heterosexual couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the names are too long, list them separately:

> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

If one person in the couple has a distinguished title, list them first:

> Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood

If both guests have distinguished titles of equal rank, you can list their names in alphabetical order:

> Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy

If one guest has a higher-ranking title, they should be named first, regardless of gender:

> Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass

For inner envelopes, you can be less formal. You have two options:

• Titles + last names
• First names only (but only if you are very close with the guests)

> Mr. and Mrs. Warren

For a couple with different last names:

> Mrs. Knope and Mr. Wyatt

If both guests have the same distinguished title, you can address them as:

> The Doctors Smith

If they have different last names, traditionally the woman's name comes first:

> Dr. Meredith Grey and Dr. Derek Shepherd

If one guest has a hyphenated last name, list the hyphenated name last:

> Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer

Frequently asked questions