Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Mailbox Manners

Wedding invitations are a big deal. After all the effort of choosing designs, getting them printed, and sealing them, you want to make sure they reach your guests safely. So, can you put your wedding invitations in the mailbox? The answer is yes and no. While some sources advise against using a street-side mailbox, others say it's fine to use the blue box at your local post office or the mailbox in your home. If you're worried about your invites going missing, it's best to hand them to a postal worker at the post office.

Weighing and posting your invitations

Weighing and posting your wedding invitations can be a tricky process. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate it:

Weighing Your Invitations:

Firstly, it is important to determine the weight of your invitations as this will impact the postage cost. You can do this by taking a fully assembled invitation to your local post office and having it weighed by a postal clerk. Alternatively, you can use a food scale or a home printer to weigh your invitations. The weight of your invitations will depend on the paper thickness, the number of inserts, and any additional items such as wax seals or ribbons.

Determining Postage:

The postage cost for your wedding invitations will depend on the weight and size of the invitation, as well as any additional features such as bulk or square envelopes. In the United States, a Forever stamp will cover up to 1 ounce, but wedding invitations often exceed this weight. You may need to purchase additional stamps or pay a "nonmachinable surcharge" for invitations with wax seals or square envelopes. It is recommended to bring a fully assembled invitation to the post office to determine the exact postage required.

Preparing Your Invitations for Mailing:

Before taking your invitations to the post office, ensure that they are securely sealed. Avoid licking the envelopes, and instead, use a cotton swab or a paintbrush to moisten the adhesive. If the adhesive is not working properly, you can use additional adhesives such as glue sticks or double-sided tape. However, this may make it more difficult for guests to open the invitations.

Mailing Your Invitations:

It is recommended to hand your wedding invitations to a postal worker at the post office rather than dropping them in a mailbox. This ensures that your invitations are properly handled and reduces the risk of them getting lost or damaged. Additionally, you can request hand-cancelling, which means the stamps are manually cancelled to prevent reuse. This service may incur an additional fee and can help protect your invitations from wear and tear.

Timing and International Invitations:

It is recommended to mail your wedding invitations 8-12 weeks before your wedding. If you are mailing invitations internationally, allow for additional time, and consider sending them 8-10 weeks in advance. It is also a good idea to provide a digital RSVP option for international guests to save time and postage costs.

Avoiding damage to your invitations

To avoid damage to your wedding invitations, it is recommended that you hand them to a staff member at the post office, rather than dropping them in a mailbox. This way, you can ensure that they are less likely to get damaged in transit. You can also ask the post office to hand-cancel your stamps, which means they will be marked with a special ink stamp and sorted by hand, reducing the risk of damage.

It is also important to weigh your invitations at the post office to ensure you have the correct postage. Wedding invitations can easily exceed the weight limit for a Forever stamp, so it is worth checking beforehand. If your invitations are bulky, have square envelopes, or include a wax seal or thick ribbon, you may need to pay a "nonmachinable surcharge". This surcharge is typically $0.20 and is required if your invitations need to be hand-cancelled.

To avoid damage to your envelopes, consider using a mix-and-match envelope addressing style. Use calligraphy or a script font for the names and a block print for the address. This will make it easier for the postal machines to read the addresses. Additionally, avoid using red or white ink for the addresses, as these colours can be difficult for the machines to read.

Finally, consider using clear plastic sleeves to mail your invitations in. This will protect them from rain and other potential issues. However, this may require extra postage, depending on how you pack them.

Ensuring your invitations arrive

Mailing wedding invitations can be a tricky process, but there are several steps you can take to ensure your invitations arrive safely and on time. Here are some tips to help you:

Order Extra Invitations

It is recommended to order 7 extra wedding invitations to account for any that may get lost in the mail or for other purposes such as photographers, keepsakes, or B-list invitees. This way, you can avoid the higher cost of reprinting individual invitations if needed.

Check the Return Address Format

The post office recommends having the return address on the same side as the guest address to prevent confusion. However, with wedding invitations, this may not be aesthetically ideal. To avoid issues, consider placing the return address on the envelope flap, keeping it to only 2 lines, and using a less contrasting colour.

Choose the Right Ink Colour

Avoid using red ink or colours in the red family, such as maroon or burgundy, as these colours can be difficult for postal machines to read. Instead, opt for darker inks such as charcoal, navy, or black on light-coloured envelopes.

Weigh and Stamp Your Invitations

Before mailing your invitations, it is crucial to ensure you have the correct postage. Take a fully assembled invitation to the post office to be weighed, and purchase the appropriate amount of stamps. Consider adding a "non-machinable surcharge" if your invitations have a wax seal, thick ribbon, or square envelopes, as these require hand-cancelling.

Protect Your Invitations

To protect your invitations from the elements, consider using mailer boxes or clear plastic sleeves. Alternatively, use the traditional inner and outer envelope system, where the outer envelope protects the inner envelope containing the guest's name.

Hand-Cancelling

Hand-cancelling your postage stamps will help reduce the number of machines your invitations go through and lower the risk of damage. This typically costs an extra $0.20 per envelope, but it may be worth it for peace of mind.

Timing

Mail your wedding invitations 8-12 weeks before your wedding, or earlier if it is a destination wedding. This will give your guests enough time to make travel plans and RSVP. However, avoid sending them too early, as guests may forget to RSVP if they receive the invitation too far in advance.

Addressing your envelopes

Addressing your wedding invitation envelopes is an important task—not only do they give your guests important information, but they also set the tone for your wedding. Here are some tips to ensure you get it right:

General Rules

• Always use full names and avoid nicknames.
• Include titles such as "Dr.", "PhD", "Esq.", "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms." and "Miss" where appropriate.
• Spell out street names, such as Lane, Court, Street, and Road.
• Spell out numeric street names, for example, Sixty-Seventh Street instead of 67th Street.
• Include serious partners and plus-ones by name, rather than writing "and guest".
• Be mindful of marital status—avoid addressing someone as "Mrs." if they are no longer married.
• Be clear about whether children are invited by adding "and Family" after their parents' names.
• Do not abbreviate street names, state names, or North, South, East, and West.
• Do not abbreviate the generational suffixes "Senior" or "Junior".

Addressing to a Family

If you are inviting a family with children under 18, address the outer envelope to the parents and include the children's names on the inner envelope. If the children are over 18, they should receive their own invitation.

Addressing to a Single Person

If you are inviting a single person with a plus-one, address the outer envelope to the primary invitee and include the plus-one's name on the inner envelope. If you don't know the plus-one's name, you can simply write "and guest".

Addressing to a Married Couple

If the couple has the same last name, you can list them as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the man's full name, or write out each person's first name. You can also put the woman's name first if you prefer. For couples with different last names, write out each full name with "Mr." or "Mrs." Either name can come first, depending on your preference.

Addressing to an Unmarried Couple

For unmarried couples living together, list their names alphabetically by last name on separate lines. Alternatively, list both names on the same line, leading with the person you are closest to. If they do not live together, send separate invitations to each guest.

Addressing to a Same-Sex Couple

The same rules apply as for any other couple. If they are married or live together, list both names on the same line. If one partner has a hyphenated last name, list that name last. For couples with different last names, you can list the names alphabetically or according to whom you are closest to.

Ordering extra invitations

It's a good idea to order extra wedding invitations for several reasons. Firstly, it's common for a few invitations to get lost in the mail, and it's more cost-effective to order extra upfront than to reprint later. Secondly, you may want to keep a few as keepsakes for yourself and your family. Thirdly, it's a good idea to give your photographer at least one invitation to photograph at your wedding. Finally, ordering extra invitations allows for last-minute guest list additions.

The general recommendation is to order 10-20 extra invitations. This accounts for approximately 3-5 invitations that may get lost in the mail, 2-3 for keepsakes, 1-2 for the photographer, and a few extras for unexpected additions to the guest list. It's also a good idea to order extra envelopes (approximately 20% extra) in case of addressing mistakes, especially if you plan to address them by hand or hire a calligrapher.

Ordering your wedding invitations can be a stressful task, but with proper planning and allowing for some extras, you can ensure you have enough and avoid the hassle of reprints.

Frequently asked questions