Presiding Your Own Wedding: Is It Possible?

If you're planning your wedding, you may be wondering if you can preside over your own ceremony. Well, it turns out you can! This is known as self-solemnization or a self-uniting marriage, and it's recognized in various states across the US. This option is ideal for couples who value privacy and intimacy and want to skip the traditional wedding ceremony. By choosing self-solemnization, you can eliminate the need for an officiant, saving you the cost and hassle of hiring one. However, it's important to note that the process and requirements may vary depending on the state, so be sure to check the specific regulations in your state before making any decisions.

Self-solemnization

Where is it Allowed?

Currently, self-solemnization is permitted in a few US states, including Colorado, California, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and the District of Columbia. Each state has its own requirements, so it is essential to research the specific regulations in your desired location. For example, Pennsylvania requires two witnesses to sign in place of an officiant, while Nevada, Kansas, and Maine allow self-solemnization for those who identify as 'Friends' or 'Quakers'.

International Recognition

While self-solemnization provides a legally recognized marriage throughout the US, international recognition varies. US marriage certificates are often recognized by other countries, but some countries have strict regulations. For example, France rarely grants special dispensation for non-residents to marry legally. Therefore, it is crucial to research the marriage laws of your desired international destination.

Benefits of Self-Solemnization

Planning Tips

When planning a self-solemnizing wedding, remember there is no set script to follow. Couples often write their own vows or letters to each other, choosing words that are meaningful to them. The ceremony can be as long or short as desired, and activities can be incorporated to make the day even more memorable. It is important to research the marriage laws of the chosen location, as some states have waiting periods or specific requirements for witnesses and filing paperwork.

US marriage certificate recognition

In the United States, a marriage certificate is an official record that two people have undertaken a marriage ceremony. This includes jurisdictions where marriage licenses do not exist. In other jurisdictions, a marriage license serves the dual purpose of granting permission for a marriage to take place and then endorsing the same document to record the fact that the marriage has been performed.

Marriage certificates are issued by government officials only after the civil registration of the marriage. They are typically issued by a government official or a religious authority, such as a clergyman, depending on the jurisdiction. In the US, marriage certificates are issued by state or territory agencies, usually called the "Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages".

In some US states, it is possible for couples to have a self-uniting or self-solemnizing marriage, where no third party is required for the marriage to be official. These states include Colorado, California, the District of Columbia, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin. However, it is important to note that even within these states, there may be variations in recognition. For example, in Wisconsin, a self-solemnized marriage may not be recognized in all contexts, while in Maine, only those of certain faiths can be exempt from needing an officiant.

To obtain a marriage certificate in the US, couples typically need to apply for a marriage license at the county clerk or recorder's office in the jurisdiction where they plan to marry. The requirements and procedures for obtaining a marriage license vary by state and county, so it is essential to check with the local government for specific instructions. Most marriage licenses expire within 30 days to a year, depending on the issuing state, so couples should be mindful of the timeline when planning their wedding.

After the wedding ceremony, the couple can obtain a certified copy of their marriage certificate from the vital records office in the state where the marriage took place. This certificate serves as proof of their marriage and may be required for various legal purposes, such as a name change, legitimacy of a child, or during divorce proceedings.

Marriage license application

In the US, a self-solemnizing or self-uniting marriage is one in which the couple gets married without the presence of a third-party officiant. This means that the couple can perform the legal solemnization of their own marriage. While this type of marriage is only allowed in a few states, including California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Washington, and Wisconsin, it is recognized as a legal marriage throughout the US.

To obtain a self-solemnizing marriage license, both partners must go to the Office of the Clerk and Registrar in a state that has legalized self-solemnization. The application fee is typically around $30, and the following information is required:

• Date of marriage
• Documentation if divorced or widowed
• Valid US ID
• Social security number

After obtaining the marriage license, some states have a mandatory waiting period before the marriage can be solemnized. For example, Washington has a waiting period, while Nevada allows couples to get married on the same day they receive their license.

It's important to note that each state has different requirements for self-solemnization, so it's recommended to check the latest marriage regulations of the specific state. Additionally, some states may have caveats to the recognition of self-solemnized marriages. For instance, in Wisconsin, the marriage may not be recognized in all contexts, while Maine restricts self-solemnization to those of certain faiths.

If you don't want to get married in a state that allows self-solemnization, you can still have a private ceremony anywhere and take care of the legal paperwork before or after your commitment ceremony. This is a common practice for couples who elope abroad. By handling the legal requirements separately, you can focus on creating a ceremony that aligns with your vision without worrying about the legal logistics.

Self-uniting marriage

A self-uniting marriage, also known as self-solemnization, is a marriage in which the couple marries without a third-party officiant. In other words, the couple can perform the legal solemnization of their own marriage. While this type of marriage is recognized throughout the United States, it is only allowed in a few states, including California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., and Wisconsin.

The process of obtaining a self-solemnizing license typically involves visiting the Office of the Clerk and Registrar in a state that has legalized self-solemnization and presenting the necessary information, such as the date of marriage, documentation of any previous marriages or divorces, valid US ID, and social security number. The application fee for a self-solemnizing license is usually around $30.

It is important to note that the requirements for self-uniting marriages vary by state. For example, California and Pennsylvania require the signatures of two witnesses in place of an officiant, while Colorado does not have any unique conditions or qualifications. In Wisconsin, couples are required to sign a form acknowledging that their self-uniting marriage may not be recognized in all contexts.

The concept of a self-uniting marriage has a long history in various cultures and religions, including Christianity and the Baháʼí faith. It gained popularity as couples increasingly opted for elopement or smaller, more intimate weddings. Self-uniting marriages offer couples the freedom to create a ceremony that reflects their unique personalities and preferences, whether in a traditional wedding venue or an outdoor setting like a mountain or a lake.

Legal recognition

In the United States, self-solemnization is a legal process that allows couples to officiate their own weddings without a third-party officiant. This process is also known as a self-uniting marriage. Self-solemnization is only permitted in certain states, including California, Colorado, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., and Wisconsin.

To obtain a self-solemnizing marriage license, couples must visit the Office of the Clerk and Registrar in a state that has legalized this practice. They must present the necessary information, such as their date of marriage, valid US ID, social security number, and documentation of divorce or widowhood if applicable. The application fee for a self-solemnizing license is typically around $30.

While self-solemnization offers couples the opportunity to marry without an officiant, it is important to note that not all states recognize these marriages in the same way. For example, in Wisconsin, the federal government may not acknowledge the marriage in all contexts. In Maine, only individuals of certain faiths are exempt from requiring an officiant. On the other hand, states like Colorado and Pennsylvania have more straightforward processes for obtaining a self-solemnizing marriage license.

Couples who choose to self-solemnize their marriage can expect a more intimate and personalized experience. They have the freedom to create their own vows, choose their wedding location, and decide on the duration of the ceremony. Additionally, they can opt to include guests or witnesses, such as photographers, friends, family, or even pets, to sign the necessary paperwork.

For couples who wish to marry in a state that does not recognize self-solemnization, there are alternative options. They can either have a legal marriage ceremony at a courthouse and then hold a separate commitment ceremony at their desired location, or they can have a private ceremony and later ask strangers or witnesses to sign as officiants.

While self-solemnization provides flexibility and privacy, it is crucial to be aware of the legal requirements and limitations of each state. By understanding the process and planning accordingly, couples can ensure that their self-officiated wedding is legally recognized.

Frequently asked questions